I took this photograph right before Halloween off my deck. I was making dinner and I looked up through my kitchen window and saw the wildest colours in the sky. The last bonfire before winter descends.
We have moved into a challenging time of year, transitioning from cozy autumn days to bitter winter nights. I am already waking up freezing and in pain in my bed every morning. I will be cold until May. Life is getting harder.
I have been getting signs from my body that the time for self-care was over last month and my red alert is buzzing, telling me I could be in trouble. I have had issues with cancer in the past and I try not to think of it, give it power, but then little things remind me that if I do not put my health first, I could be in big trouble.
There were decisions that I made this year that were brutally hard. I hate having to put my health first but it was necessary. My instincts screaming for me to make sacrifices if I want to survive this life in Nova Scotia. I learned from not listening to my instincts long ago now just how dangerous it is to ignore that inner voice.
I am not one to relinquish control but when it comes to my health, I will do what I have to do whether I like it or the world likes it or not. Yes, I want to go and do what everyone else is doing but I just can't. The price is too high.
So I will continue to practice dramatic self-care. I will listen to my inner voice and do yoga and take naps and eat nourishing homemade foods. My health continues to be my ever-lasting obstacle but at the same time, self-care feels pretty damn good. I will stop feeling guilty. I will start enjoying every second of nourishing my body, mind and spirit.
5 comments:
Yes, please do take care of yourself, Suzie. There is no shame in that!
this sounds a very sensible way to live through the cold dark months ahead.
i too have started to look after myself better and recognise my limitations.
lets all stick together!
I love the concept of "dramatic self-care"--sometimes it is not only but preferable when survival is at stake--physical, psychological, spiritual--or all three.
This is only tangentially related, but I have a feeling that this winter is going to be easier than past winters for me because of central heating. I really struggled through the freezing weather, the continual power outages, being forced to stay indoors, the freezing rain and snow. Having a warm place to hole up in will, I think, make a difference. Although we had a wood stove, it couldn't do the whole house, and I was still very cold much of the time.
We need to find solace, succor, warmth where we can in winter.
xoO
I know just so well how you feel,it's like I have written in the last "wishcasting" "Sometimes you have to shed your skin to save it!"
Think, you are on a good way, a least you are really concious about what to do and where to go...
I know how hard the winter months are on you. You do whatever it takes to keep healthy.
I don't know if your big on ancestor worship. Call on your ancestors who have passed over and include even those you don't know but still are kin to you. Ask them to give you some help via dreams, signs and tarot to help you. And any benevolent spirit guides, too.
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