The Happy Book

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What a week it has been! I have hardly been home, dragging my exhausted butt everywhere. It has been amazing though and did make me happy. In particular, Shelagh took me downtown where we went for lunch at a fabulous diner, then had dessert at a cupcake place and then she showed me a sneak peak of her big art show which is tonight! Isn't she amazingly talented? And she is just as wonderful, driving me around and being careful of my delicate health.

My husband and I also did some driving around this week, normally we hibernate during the week but we had stuff we had to get done. There have been some changes for him that have made us both feel a little lighter and better. We are both still crazy homesick but the pain has lightened a little, I will take what I can get.

I even got out to a cooking class with my good friend Jen which really rocked. Yesterday I got to the doctor's office and found out that my blood pressure is low. Turns out that salted sunflower seeds and dill pickles really are my healing foods, LOL. I have munched on those my whole life. Funny, the more I work to eat healthy the harder time my health has had it. Last time it was low iron because I was going on a meat break and now my doctor is ordering me to eat potato chips. Good grief! Still, I am no longer feeling as faint and hope that my energy will return little by little.

I am happy that next week I have very little planned. This week, as much fun as it was, would have been more fun had I not been this busy. I am weak from exhaustion now, I pushed myself too far and did too much. I will be in recovery mode, hopefully spending time in my kitchen exploring the world of food. The only thing that seems to rejuvenate me.

What made you happy this week? Was it a busy one for you too?

Getting ready for Beltane

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It has been six months since I have been able to walk to Sarah's Spiritual Treasures. The bad weather prevents me from being able to come and visit this beacon of light in my dark world but even though it has still been cold, I could wait no longer. Beltane is coming!

The store many be a little small but its inventory is glorious. Going there is spiritual therapy.

I love that you can pick a card at the cash register and get your daily spiritual advice. Mine was about having faith and overcoming fear. Wow, no kidding! That is where I need help for sure.

I am hoping that this Beltane I will have enough energy to do a couple of rituals. So I picked up some supplies including sweetgrass and incense. The time for healing is here, for Mother Earth and for my body, spirit and heart.

May all the bonfires burn brightly, searing away old pain and creating new life.

What do you need this Beltane?

Wishcasting: What do you wish to invest in?

Jamie is asking us what we wish to invest in for Wishcasting this week and for me it is a no brainer. I want a Mac laptop. I "share" our Mac computer with my husband which is very challenging. It is actually more challenging than when we had to share one bathroom in our former apartments which is tough on a marriage, LOL. It means that I get the computer in the morning and a little in the afternoon so I stress trying to get everything done, catch up on all email, pay the bills... before he gets home. I know, we are already lucky enough to have one Mac but I really want to start doing videos in my kitchen and my crafts room as well as not rush while I am on the computer. Jamie asked, so I answered truthfully. I know having my own Mac laptop would make a huge difference in my life.

I am sorry that I can not comment on other people's wishes this week at all, I try here and there but this week my health is really bad. I am seeing the doctor soon to see if there is anything she can do. Fainting is scary and saving the environment last week seems to have taken everything out of me. Blessings and wishes to all! What a special Wishcasting week, blessed Wind Moon to you. May the winds of change bring great fortune to all of us. Blessed be.

Flowers, the full moon and a little energy please

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I spent all last week trying to save the environment and now I can barely move. The good news is there was a community cleanup recently (I had no idea it was going to happen) so the area is looking so much better. The Superstore has cleaned their ditches, well, most of them and removed two shopping carts from the river. There is still one left, I will call them about it later. The TV is still in the river though and the Environment Department of Nova Scotia has told me they do not pick up trash which means, no one officially does around here.

The hardest part is the impact all of this has had on my health. Sudden drops in energy have had me losing consciousness a few times last week. No, it is not my sugar, I snacked regularly to make sure. I will be seeing my doctor about it. I think this all just took too much out of me. It has also gone cold and dark again so all I want to do is nothing and yet this is one of the busiest weeks I have had in a long time. Needless to say I am going to be as gentle with myself as possible, this is when injuries are mostly likely to occur.

We had a crazy week on Hexed. You can kind of see me all wrapped up in my blanket, trying to stay warm as I talked with Shannon. The week before I did not know how I was going to stay conscious for our discussion, I was feeling that bad. I think I did much better this week and as usual, it was lots of fun. So happy to see Bonnie the witch back on Vampire Diaries, she is definitely my favourite character. I really believe there are not enough witches on TV, LOL.

Tomorrow is the full moon and I think I am going to ask that big white marshmallow moon for some energy and inspiration. Later on when I see my doctor I think I will ask her for some help too. I will take what I can get right now.

The Happy Book

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OK, I know I look far from happy in this photograph and I was. I was just about to kill somebody yesterday. It was Earth Day and I got out my cleaning gear and headed out to the tiny nature area where I live. This is what I saw:

I think there may be a beaver damning our little river but look at all the garbage that collected in it.

That television set is still in our river, looks like the tube has been removed but it is now filling with garbage.

Oh the physical pain I went through to fill this bag of garbage. It is very steep in this area and there was one second I thought I was going to go sliding into that polluted river but I managed to stop it from happening. I found condoms, socks, a seat for a vehicle (too heavy for me to remove), pieces of metal, lots of empty alcohol bottles but the worst as usual was all the fast food wrappers and countless cups.

I don't know if you can see in this photograph the plastic bag in the tree near the malards? Makes me want to cry. By the time I got home, I was ready for a war. I called everyone. I called Pollution Control who told me to call Nova Scotia Environment. I contacted them and filed a complaint but seriously doubt anything is going to be done. I called the local rivers association last week and nobody has returned my phone call so I called again and left another voice mail. No response. Then I called The Superstore's head office.

When I told her that their flyers and bags were ending up in our little river, I heard her gasp. Unlike all the local people here, she was actually shocked and appalled to find out that their store is responsible for a ton of the garbage in our area. I told her that last year I saw people setting up their garden centre pick up all the garbage on the hill and then throw it down the hill in to their own ditch where it eventually got blown down into our river. I told her I went in to the store to speak to customer service who told me to come back when the manager was there.

She said, "Well that is not what should have happened! They should have thanked you for bringing this to their attention and taken you out for coffee to discuss what could be done."

I almost cried. She was right but nobody here seems to care.

She got on the phone and called the manager of the store to tell him. She came back and said they would remove the carts in the river, that they would extend their cleaning beyond just the parking lot of their property and she thanked me so much for calling. I could not believe it! Somebody finally heard me and thanked me for bringing this miserable situation to their attention. And she was just as upset to find out that the nursing home across the street from them is drowning in THEIR garbage.

You know, I was giving up all hope that change here could happen. It is quite clear that local organizations really do not seem to care. The apathy here is ridiculous. I was going to call the mayor but I started to get the shakes. I was in so much pain and so exhausted, I had to stop.

So yes, there are a lot of reasons for me to be angry but the Superstore came through for me. I will be watching, seeing if this store does what it says it was going to do and if they do not I will call their big boss again and get them in trouble.

Being a trouble maker makes me happy. I wish I had more energy and less pain to do it more often but once a year on Earth Day, I can do it for our dear Mother Earth. She does so much for us.

Happy Earth Day!

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Guess what? It is sunny today! And it is supposed to get to like 14C here which is shocking! Perhaps spring has arrived just in time for Earth Day?

I am going on a bit of a trash-fighting rampage in honour of Mother Earth today. Calling people to get that TV out of our river! Yes, it is still there.

Enough griping, bitching and complaining. The sunlight is fueling my fire, time to kick some ass!

How are you celebrating Earth Day today?

Wishcasting: Who do you wish to dare?

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I wish to dare tell the world that it is official! I am now a professional food writer and photographer! The Food Network asked me to write some articles for them so now I am going out and about the HRM looking for food stories to share on their site. My first one is a restaurant review of a local barbecue restaurant.

Not that long ago I started submitting photographs to their site and one day I saw my Roasted Butternut Squash Soup when I went to their site. I almost fell off my chair! Very little excites me these days and I have been following my skeleton trail of breadcrumbs of energy into my kitchen and just believing that something will come out of it.

Since I was a young girl, I knew I wanted to write. I did not know what about or how to go about it but I taught myself the proper was to type when I was 12 years old. All summer I sat in my bedroom and practiced learning to type because I knew one day it was important. If you had told me that I would end up writing about food? I would have thought you were crazy!

I know that my writing may go in other directions once I get out of here but for now, it is all about food. And I don't forget about magic. In fact I just wrote about my Magic Soup. Seems I have turned into quite the kitchen witch! At least there is magic somewhere in my life.

Hexed: Episode 11

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This week on Hexed it's all about family when it comes to Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. Oh and isn't that a great photograph of Shannon?! I haven't been feeling well but nothing perks me up like talking to my sister about supernatural television shows.

I thought I would have some good news to share today but not yet. Sorry for the psyche, totally out of my control but I promise that as soon as I can I will share a little cool info about stuff that's going on.

Until then my spooky friends, hang out with Shannon and me as well talk all supernatural TV, all the time.

Yup, that's snow

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All day yesterday and overnight we were hit by a snowstorm. I had three sweaters on and was still freezing. I have been cold for two and a half years. Every little movement is a threat to my tight muscles. The pain threatens my sanity which becomes a thinner veil every day.

So I stay inside and hope I can afford to pay the ridiculous heating costs which are our second mortgage. Even though the furnace fights against the cruel April chill our house never gets warm. I bring out the additional electric heaters (and cost) and hope that one day I will be warm again.

My heart is frost bitten. Someone wake me up when summer comes because it is clear spring no longer exists.

The Happy Book

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I know it seems like I share everything here but in reality, much is hidden. So much of my life is affected by what is happening to other people around me and those are their stories, not mine. So this week I have happy secrets. A secret about an extended family member who is so much happier right now. A secret about my soul mate that makes my heart soar. Even a secret about my life that I will have to keep secret until next week. No, I am not moving. But a dream of mine will be reality next Tuesday.

Big change has yet to come for me but I am sensing that the wheels of change are finally starting to stretch and move. Just a distant groan that is impacting people around me at this point but it is happening. This dessert period is not over but it is closer to the end than the beginning. I will keep walking through my life, each day a new footstep closer to my escape.

Cleaning Challenge

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For six weeks this TV live in the ditch in front of a house. Now it lives in our little river, all smashed in so the toxins can leach into the water. I called the Pollution Prevention team to report it and the neighbours but I don't think they are going to do anything. They told me that if it isn't removed to call the province. Why the hell should I be doing that? It is still there so I am going to have to make more phone calls. Also, they won't charge the people who left the TV out in front of their house for six weeks. They can only charge them if I saw them dumping it into the water which I am sure they did once they realized that no person driving by was going to pick it out of their ditch for them.

I also cleaned up the garbage along our property from the major road and woke up the next morning to see that someone had dumped more garbage, this time on our front lawn. Have I mentioned that I feel that people who litter are evil? If it is true, I live in the depths of hell.

I have to walk by this every day. Last year I spent days filling up garbage bags and it did not even make a dent. All of this crap will eventually get into the water, along with the television. I am convinced no one else cares or even sees but me.

Now you can see why I don't want to leave my house. Even downtown, there is garbage everywhere. Even along the highways. I saw a construction worker napping on his break surrounded by garbage by the highway. Nobody here cares. I do not belong here. I am a woman with a disabling illness, I can not change an entire province.

I will do what I can outside but will mostly focus on inside. Leave my tears for nature with the plastic bags, stuck in the trees. Tumbling down the hill inside all the Tim Horton's coffee cups thrown out the window of cars as people drive by. Who are these people? I doubt they are human. How can anyone human being do that?

Hexed: Episode 10

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Amazing! Shannon and I have gotten to Episode 10 of Hexed! Things are going kind of psycho and dark on Vampire Diaries, as well as Supernatural. No more teeny bopper romance, the show is getting more intense and I am loving every minute of it. We do talk a moment about the magical powers of water and I look into the power of the cypress tree, delving into real paranormal elements of the shows.

We hope you enjoy hanging out with the sisters of Hexed! All supernatural TV, all the time. Even if you don't watch these shows, you may enjoy the intro recorded by me and my husband. Way to go Shannon for getting it up there. Sounds fantastic! If you do watch the shows, please also vote in our polls. I think this week's questions are perfect for where we are in both series.

Nothing better than supernatural TV when you need to escape.

The prophetic wisdom of the inner voice

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A year ago I discovered a yoga studio around the hood. It is not close to where I live, so getting there was tough. Everything was going fine until I got a bad feeling. I did not understand it. The people were great. The studio was lovely. I did not like the outside noise affecting my meditation and the space was pretty small. Those are things I normally would forgive if it meant I could be a part of something around here. To connect with community.

One day I woke up and I could not go back.

It made no sense. The weather was nice so walking there was doable. My instincts screamed no, do yoga at home Suzie.

There was a time I would have rebelled against that voice but after the suffering we have gone through by moving here, well, I promised myself I would listen to that voice from now on no matter what. Since then I have been doing yoga at home with Padma from the One Channel. Years ago I used to do yoga with her in our basement apartment on a mountain in Coquitlam, BC, every day. It was hard to go back, every time I hear her voice I am transported back to that mountain and am filled with a deep homesickness. Still, this is what that inner voice told me to do and I listened.

Thank the Goddess I did! Last week in the same building right next door there was a shooting. It was in the afternoon, that is the time of day I would have gone to a yoga class. I am not a morning person. I had wondered about the store right beside the studio, I went in there once and got the feeling I was not wanted. Turns out it is a gang clothing store, I did not know such a thing existed! I certainly got a feeling when I was there that I was no wanted. No kidding.

No one was hurt but my vibes and instincts were right. It was not the yoga studio, it was the neighbours. I knew there was something off there. Something that felt very bad.

Again, the only place I really feel safe here is in my house. I am truly not a homebody but I have become one since moving here.

Everyone thinks life here is super friendly but there is also a deep and dangerous edge that I think the people who have lived here for a while are immune to. As a stranger, an outsider, I see a very different world than they do. I am sure they all think I am insane.

I may live my life as a hermit most of the time but if that is what my inner voice tells me to do, I do it. Instincts keep us alive.

The Happy Book

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This week I decided that one of the things that makes me happy is taking care of my home. It might seem lame in comparison to ghost hunting, psychic phenomenon, magick and all things supernatural but right now, this is my reality. I have been busy, I have been in a lot of physical pain and mess is showing up everywhere around me.

For this week's cleaning challenge I tackled the most emotionally complicated room in my house: the crafts room. Here is where I am supposed to be creative and spiritual and it is the room in the house I avoid like the plague. I go in there and dump stuff on the work table and then leave. All the gifts for my foodie blogbirthday contest have been living there, just sitting there waiting for me to find them a home. Also, tons of paperwork I don't want to deal with, haunting and taunting me. Well enough is enough!

The cleaning process got much worse before it got better. I actually felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Instead, every time it got bad I left the room and stirred my tomato soup which was bubbling away on the stove. Then, I felt better. Short bursts of activity and I could handle it.

The part that I loved doing was putting the packages together, adding cards that said thank you and such. That was the part about Etsy I enjoyed the most. Connecting with people through the mail. Almost all the packages are ready to go and I will be mailing them very soon which will make me feel very, very happy. I love letting stuff go. It is so freeing.

Now I have that space back, I wonder if I will go back inside soon or not? I do go in there to pull a tarot card every now and then for guidance. I wish there was a way to help me connect with this space. This is a big reason why I wanted a house: my own room. Maybe I blame it for leaving BC?

Feel free to tackle something in your own space that has been driving you crazy. I really do believe that taking care of your space can help you be happy. And in that department, I will take all the help I can get.

Taking care of home

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There is a tiny wooded area in my 'hood, the closest thing to real nature we have and it was covered in garbage. I have been waiting for the weather to improve, as well as my back, before getting in there and trying to make a little bit of difference so the garbage does not make its way into our little river. Clearly people just throw trash out of their windows as they drive along the closest street. Monsters!

Yesterday something shocking happened. I was walking to my hair appointment with cupcakes for my hairdresser, it was her birthday, when I saw an older man with a bucket in the wooded area. He was picking up garbage! Never since I have moved here have I seen anyone do this but me and I am out every single day. He gave me a nasty look which made me sad. Then I yelled, "Thank you!" He either ignored me or did not hear me. I understand his disgust and resentment. When I am out there cleaning up the neighbourhood I hate the community around me too.

Back at home I came to a realization. Cleaning is divine. I mean it. Cleaning is a spiritual act. It always makes me feel better (well, not my body but my spirit) and I care about having a clean home and a clean planet. It was difficult for me to transition from being a woman who left home to work, to a woman who stayed home but one thing has always remained constant. I take care of where I live. I may be crappy at taking care of people but I am good at making a home.

So here is my challenge to you, take it or leave it. I challenge you to do one big cleaning act a week. I will leave the definition of "big" to you. For me, big means cleaning my oven or weeding my garden. I have more pain now that I have ever had in my whole life so things that are small to some people are huge to me. I will also try and follow that gentleman's example and get out there and do my part to make this place less of a dump.

Seeing that elderly man out there cleaning up after others has fueled my fire to take care of my home, take care of my planet. Will you join me? Will you take on one cleaning challenge a week?

Hexed: Episode 9

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On Hexed: Episode 9 Shannon and I struggle with Vampire Diaries confusion this week, still loving the new content. Our hearts continue to break over Sam and Dean's trials and tribulations on Supernatural. As always, lots of laughter going on too. Oh and make sure to listen to our new intro! Thunder and my spooky voice, way to go Shannon getting that in there!

Hexed has a new home on Blogger and we are getting fabulous comments and questions about who the protagonist of Vampire Diaries really is? We also want to know what is up with the magic rings? Where the hell is Bonnie?! And I am shouting, bring back the witch!

You can also join in on our discussion and updates on our Facebook group. How much fun to discuss supernatural TV with my sister Shannon!

This is the closest to the paranormal I am getting right now, no word from Alone yet. Fingers crossed though! Time to have some real life paranormal adventures.

Have a spooky day!

Cool stuff going on!

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A lot of cool things have been going on lately. It is my foodie blog's first birthday today. I bought all sorts of neat stuff for people who enter by taking a survey about my blog, so make sure to check it out and enter. You don't have to be a regular reader, I am just looking for basic feedback and info. I have also started my own foodie newsletter which was extremely challenging but hopefully people like it making it worthwhile.

On the weekend my husband and I went downtown because guess what? It was sunny! And HOT! No such thing as spring here. We went downtown to a restaurant so I could review it and that is all very exciting and I will post more about it if the article gets accepted. How cool was it to go down there and test out the food, take photographs of all the interesting details and potential get paid to do so? I really felt in my element.

I think we must be solar powered. What a difference it makes to be out of the gloom. The cold is hard enough on my fibromyalgia but the darkness here wears down even harder on my spirit. Until the sun comes out, I do not want to go anywhere or do anything other than hang out in my kitchen. The last time I made jewellery was in November which was the last month of sunshine we had. I am hoping that with the return of sunshine that other facets of my creative life come back.

For now, I will just keep absorbing that vitamin D and hope my spirit comes back to life.

Some weekend fun

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My husband shared this video with me and we laughed our asses off! I love the '80s, so imaginative and experimental. This literal version of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart reveals just how wild imagination was back then. Even though it is very silly in many ways, I thought it was hysterical and had to share it with you.

The Happy Book

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As you can see, the river near me is quite full and heavy and dense right now. Completely opaque from the unexpected rushing water, stirring things up.

I am trying to find the happy. It continues to be a challenge, I will be honest. It has been exceptionally dark and gloomy here. Rumours are we have a fabulous weekend ahead when it comes to weather. I would really like that. I really need that to happen. Last week we had either huge rainfalls or snow. I am not expecting to be warm anymore. I have given up on that state of being. But sunshine, sunshine would make me very happy.

Warning: I think this blender is made of rocketship parts so when I turn on the blender, turn down the volume, holy cow!!!!

On a completely different note, I have been stressing over replacing my old crappy blender that I strangle and shake on a regular basis in order to get it to kind of work. I ordered this one from Costco and I videotaped phase 1 of my product testing. So far, this makes me very happy. We'll see what a week of my smoothie-making abuse will do to this Salton blender.

It does make me happy to have things that work in my life and make my life easier. I gotta say, so far I love product testing for my foodie blog. So I guess there, I have found a little happy to share with you.

Sensational Snap Society Ecourse Contest Winner!

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Calicogirl! You are the winner! Thanks for contacting me, enjoy the course for me OK?

Shelagh must have a green thumb on top of being an amazing photographer because look at the daffodil plant she brought me! It has been dark and dreary and yet here they are all suddenly in bloom. Please, someone let me know if these are supposed to go outside? Or do I keep them inside? I am a terrible gardener, LOL.

Speaking of giveaways, I have one coming up on Monday to celebrate my foodie blog's first year anniversary. Please show up to find out all the stuff I am giving away and how to enter the contest. I would not want you to miss it.

Congratulations Calicogirl.