Trying to be positive

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Why the heck do I bother? As soon as I started to write this blog post about the things I actually like about Nova Scotia, the jack hammering in front of my house began. I haven't sleep in weeks and now I am going to get a migraine. Fine, whatever.

So, I do love the nautical life here. Even though we are no where close to the water, people have boats on their property.

It can get kitschy but I don't think I could ever get tired of silly nautical decorations. These aren't mine, just cute things about the neighbourhood.

OK, I can't take it anymore. Nova Scotia, it's clear you want me here as much as I want to be here. Let's just leave each other alone, OK?

Bloody hell. I've never been good at seeing the positive when life sucks.

The Happy Book

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Join me in participating in happy reflections for The Happy Book today!

On Monday it was a holiday and my friends helped me escape to the ocean. Although Nova Scotia is surrounded by the ocean, not every community is very close to the sea. Mine definitely is not. I moved to the east coast to be near the ocean and I lived closer to it out west. In the winter I used to wake up to the gently sound of a lazy fog horn, smiling. I lived near a lagoon that overlooked the Olympic Mountain range. Here I get to the beach a couple of times a year, not a couple of times a week. It is always beautiful to get to the beach though and I loved every second of it.

What I am even happier about is today my husband comes home! He has been away for three weeks and it has been a lonely time. It is easier to be on my own when winter has finally passed but life is just not the same without him. I have kept myself busy in the kitchen and recently the garden but I just want him to be home again with me.

We may not feel at home here but we are enjoying turning our house into a home. We talk about going back to BC all the time and know that leaving this house will be the hardest part. It was not the house of our dreams and definitely in the wrong area of Nova Scotia but we are making it work for now.

I bought some herbs for my home and my crafts room now tempts me with the scent of lavender and basil. In the front room rosemary, chives and lemon thyme keep me company. Soon there will be pumpkins taking over my backyard and strawberries falling into my palm from the garden. Perhaps I must make friends with the earth before I can return to the ocean? I am trying.

May Flower Moon Dreamboard

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Click here to enlarge

This month I found myself able to buy magazine for my dreamboard! Normally I look and look and can not find anything that appeals or speaks to me. This month was different. I focused on two things I love: food and travel!

The last time I rode a bike was on an empty street in Vancouver and I rode it into a parked car. A week later it was stolen. This photograph represents me being healthy enough not only to travel to France but being free from pain and medication so that I can travel through France with my husband (he is the one taking the picture of course) by bicycle. Free of fibro fog.

This represents my husband and I getting far away from here, out on the moors perhaps or drinking in Ireland's particular shade of green. Hiking, stopping by pubs for me to do some European foodie reviews and just getting away from our life here, that is a big part of my dream.

This one surprised me! We had a very challenging and frightening time when we went to Mexico five years ago. The only food we got to eat was from Subway! My husband has since eaten at Subway all around the world. I swear, he should be their spokesperson. But here we are enjoying a frozen drink in Mexico and I would absolutely love to get to know real Mexican cuisine.

When I did a meditation about where I am going to be in ten years in Circe's Circle, I was shocked to see myself not in BC but in Paris! I had a tiny apartment and was whipping up egg whites in a copper bowl. So this is the future me wandering the markets, picking up fresh food and continuing my love affair with food but in France.

In order for me to travel anywhere, I have to make a medical breakthrough. I am in more pain than I have ever been in, thanks to the weather and stress of living my life in Nova Scotia. I escape in my kitchen and one day I want to escape for good. I have always wanted to travel the world and I embrace the idea of my love of food combining with my desire to travel.

May all our dreams come true.

Wishcasting: What do you wish for your space?

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Jamie's Wishcasting prompt this week: What do you wish for your space?

Good grief! What is happening to me? I am buying seeds! Seeds for my garden that I totally gave up on. I couldn't help it. When I won a book of growing your own veggies via The Food Network and then saw this adorable package of seeds for growing your own pumpkins, I just had to pick them up. And that started this whole weird desire to make my garden mine.

I always considered myself more of a tree person. This lilac tree makes me very happy and came with the house. So did our magnolia tree. When it comes to just about everything else, I feel very meh about it. It is not my style of garden, lots of bold and bright colours contrasting one another. Plus, I am not big into flowers.

Two summers ago I planted this strawberry bush and it continues to come back despite my neglect. It is on the side of the house I never go to and forget all about. Yes, it is doing great without me. Perfect.

I love green with little sparks of white. I discovered this while visiting Jamie. I was so perplexed over my lack of interest in gardening that we went through her magazines and she just told me to tear out pics that I like without thinking about them. We would analyze them later. Sure enough, I do like a wild and green garden with little white flowers here and there. I am more about grasses and trees with white flower accents.

So I ordered some seeds online for white morning glories, moon flowers and tall ornamental grass. My husband is going to see about tilling the backyard so I can grow veggies and fruit back there which is very exciting. I also wish to have a little safe area for an herb garden on my deck hidden from the fierce insects that live here.

I am envisioning my fence being covered in vines covered with white flowers. In the backyard a pumpkin patch. On the deck by my kitchen all my culinary herbs. Strawberries along my side yard and many other fruits and veggies growing all around me.

It feels weird, like something I have resisted is finally blooming whether I want it to or not. I keep thinking of baking my own pumpkins in pies and creating my own Samhain jack-o-lanterns this Halloween and I get excited. Yup, something is certainly brewing in me. Something I never expected.

I escaped!

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Yesterday my friends helped me escape to the ocean! We drove down a scenic route past Lawrencetown Beach to get to Martinique Beach. Was it ever windy! At my place it was almost 30C which is hot but there, because of the wind and the chill off the ocean, it was more like 16C. We had to get out our jackets as we walked along the water. I went right up to the ocean carrying my sandals and watched as the water flooded towards me.

For a brief second I felt relief and then squealed at the bone-chilling cold shooting through my feet and up to my brain! It was just like the winters here by the Atlantic, shockingly and deeply cold. It was just too windy off this side of the water so we drove down over crazy potholes on a thin road to the farthest parking lot down the beach. There we walked along the more sheltered area together.

A bit of a less-windy oasis where we walked without our shoes on and watched for evidence of shells, crabs and other wildlife:

We did see a shorebird and I thought it was a plover but I am now having some doubts. Regardless, I was amazed at the shock of white under the wings of the bird as it flew away from us pesky tourists.

What an absolute treat to get out of my neighbourhood and to the ocean. When you can not drive and you live in a place with crappy bus service (if there is any at all) you really can not appreciate what Nova Scotia has to offer. Thankfully I have friends that help me get to know this province a little more. I think we all needed to break out of our patterns of living and try something new and go some place none of us have ever been before.

There is nothing more delicious in this world than escape.

A Green Twist of Fate

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Recently I found out from Val via The Food Network that I had won a copy of The Everything Grow Your Own Vegetables Book. I recently commented on Facebook that gardening is my kryptonite. I can not think of anything that hurts more, other than surviving the winters here. It hurts everything! On top of that, I find it overwhelming. I have no idea what I am doing and people seem to think you just intuitively know how to go about gardening. They do not realize there is a lot to know and not all of us absorb it via osmosis.

If that were possible I would have a big green thumb like my mom since I spent summers and summers running around her gardens with her. Instead, I know zilch! But now there is hope, a book is coming to me that could actually help me. Imagine!

Some of the gardens around my neighbourhood are so lovely. Others, not. As much as the aesthetics are lovely, for me, growing food appeals much more than flowers. Go figure! I had no idea just how much that was true until I saw seeds for growing your own pumpkins at the Superstore. I actually gasped and got excited! Then I was shocked at my reaction. That was my energy and excitement radar (which barely works these days) going off about gardening, what the hell? So, I thought of the book, I thought of my garden... and I bought them!

Turns out Nova Scotia is the pumpkin-growing capital of Canada and potentially the world. I mean this is where Howard Dill's world-famous giant pumpkins are grown! The idea of growing my own Samhain pumpkin gives me shivers of delight. Just the thought of roasting my own pumpkin for a homemade pumpkin pie makes me want to squeal.

OK damn it. I'll give gardening another shot. This feels like a clear message from the universe to get in that garden and grow stuff. Just as long as it is food!

The Happy Book

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This week for The Happy Book I want to celebrate finally getting time in my kitchen. I mean some real kitchen time and joy, baking up a storm. These are the Lemon Thyme Cookies I made from my friend Tammy's Cookie Book for my hairdresser only to find out that thyme is bad for pregnant women! Doh! So I took them over to my neighbour's house only to find out that she had broken her leg and needed cheering up too. So there was a reason I was drawn to these cookies. Following my foodie instincts and impulses make me very happy.

I even went out and bought magazines this week! Something I rarely do. I have big issues with magazines but finally found some that embrace my interests. I bought them for foodie inspiration of course but also for my next dreamboard which I will be making next week! The full moon is coming up, it is on Thursday May 27th. I am a little nervous (which is funny since I created the whole dreamboarding ritual) because I have not made one in a while and really have not been feeling creative outside the kitchen. I am determined though!

This week I was also interviewed by Jamie about Circe's Circle. It is always fantastic to talk to my sister and I felt that we did a great job and that the event went very well. Yay! It really did demonstrate to me just how much has changed for me in a year, at least when it comes to my food adventures and projects.

Even though this last week was crazy stressful in many ways, I sense things calming down a little which would be nice. I have been too busy and pushing myself too hard. Now I want to celebrate the fun and less stressful stuff in my life.

Wishcasting: What do you wish to have?

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Waiting at the dentist's office

Wishcasting prompt: What do you wish to have?

My answer? I wish to have nerves of steel.

I like to think I inherited my bad nerves. They do run in the family. The truth is, my nerves are a mess right now. Last week I almost passed out from a panic attack when someone showed up at my door around 10 pm and banged the hell out of it. I was watching TV with ear drops in my ears (long story) and I sat up so quickly the drops stayed completely lodged in my ears and I couldn't hear anything other than the banging. My phone was in the other room, to get there I had to pass in front of my front door where whoever was at the front door would be able to see me. I was scared it was my neighbours telling me my house was on fire or that they needed help. My instincts told me, don't go to the door. So I didn't. It took an hour for my heart to slow down and I didn't sleep that night.

I called my neighbours the next day and they told me it wasn't them and no one had been doing door-to-door canvassing that night. To this day I have no idea who was there. We have some big troublemakers down our street who I think are dealing drugs through their house and I don't feel safe here at all.

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get my front tooth fixed. I have a filling on my front tooth and it was cracking and scaring me, I was sure it was ready to fall off so I went to go get it fixed. When I have done so in the past it was no big deal. I went in and sat in the waiting room, very relaxed. I go in to find out that she is REALLY fixing it and needles and a rubber damn were going to be involved. That's when I started to shake inside.

If I didn't think I was telekinetic before, I am sure of it now. You would not believe everything that happened as a result of my adrenalin going through the roof. The rubber damn broke in my mouth twice. The metal cage to hold it in place went flying out of my mouth so strongly it smacked against the window, twice!!! Then my jaw just went crazy and kept opening and closing so water went everywhere including down my back. By the end of the appointment, I was a total wreck.

Some people do better in life keeping a positive attitude. Well for me, it only invites disappointment. My luck here in Nova Scotia sucks. Better to prepare for the worst and have a baseball bat ready for a home invasion than think that I am safe here. I need the nerves of steel to prepare for the worst so I can kick it in the head. People have been shot at in my area, there are drug dealers on my street and people from that house have often looked at me like they want to hurt me.

Only nerves of steel will get me through this.

Killing the wild out of Nova Scotia

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The Nature killers are out in Nova Scotia. From tree clearing to coyote trapping, this place shocks me. Yes, there is now a government sanctioned and financially funded incentive for trappers to kill coyotes.

I find it so weird. When I lived in BC I came across coyotes a lot. Even in Vancouver on one of my walks I had a meet and greet with a fantastic coyote, I consider it one of the highlights of my life. I know they can attack but it is very, very rare. It is much more likely for them to be spooked and run away.

The attitude towards Nature here offends me. Out west they delayed the construction on the Sea to Sky Highway (up to Whistler) for the Olympics because they discovered an eagle's nest in one of the trees. When a new tree was planted outside our apartment building in Vancouver and was dying because of the chronic summer sun and lack of rain (best kept secret about BC, months and months of sunshine from June to October) I called the city to water it. I had tried, I took water out every day but could not carry enough to keep it alive. They were there the next day with a giant water truck. When I saw that truck, I knew I was home.

After eight years of living there, I had forgotten other places in Canada do not feel the way I do about Nature. Nova Scotia could not be more different than British Columbia.

A new building went up near us and they cut own every single tree and now it is just a box on the corner that looks ugly when it could have been surrounded by the little grove of trees that they tore down for no reason.

Oh and the TV? It is back in the river.

No amount of petitioning the Universe is going to make this province wake up to their blasphemous attitude towards Nature. I have tried. I have done what I can. I can not change an entire psyche of a province. I just have to survive until I can make my escape. If I could, I would make a sanctuary for the threatened coyotes and then take them with me when I leave.

Nature needs all the protection it can get here.

Jamie interviews me about Suzie the Foodie

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My Suzie The Foodie blog started thanks to Jamie Ridler Studios' inspirational group Circe's Circle: Your Creative Dream Team. And yes, we are related, she is my amazingly-talented sister who is a personal coach destined to change people's lives for the better. I know it, I have lived it. Many of the biggest and most exciting decisions I have made in my life have been because of Jamie.

Hear the story behind the blog by going to Jamie's site and signing up. You can either call in and listen live this Wednesday May 19th at 7 pm EST or listen to the recorded conversation later.

Before my foodie blog, my life was a nightmare. I am still dealing with major challenges in my life but each day is now a new recipe, a new foodie story. I have found my subject and have embraced this path thanks to Circe's Circle. From meditations, drawing exercises, collages and lots and lots of contemplation, I shifted my life from dark to light with the power of this group.

I really hope you sign up and listen to me tell the story of Suzie The Foodie. I think it is going to be fascinating and fun.

Progress!

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There has been progress when it comes to the TV in the river, now it is along the riverbank. I have no idea why it has just been left there, I fear some yahoo is just going to kick it back in but maybe not. I can not figure out how to get there myself, this area seems to be challenging to get to. At least it is no longer contaminating the water, at the moment.

Sadly last weekend I saw someone dumping a big box of beer bottles right across the street from us at 2 am. There are troublemakers on our street and now new ones down the street from us as well. My neighbour saw the idiot do the dumping and went out there, got all the crap and dumped it on their front lawn. So many of us are sick and tired of the people here that ruin everything for everyone.

We are hoping that the next summer won't be like the last two with parties going all night and cops showing up not arresting anybody on a regular basis. The summer nights are filled with drama. Last year someone tried to set fire to our dried out front lawn which set me off screaming.

I would like to think that my Beltane ritual is responsible for the TV magickally being transported out of the water. There are still so many issues here that drive me crazy but I will take what progress I can get. Have I mentioned how much I hate it here? LOL. Don't answer that!

The Happy Book

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This last Wednesday I wore purple. It was Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and I dyed my hair dark purple, as usual. I even wore my amethyst necklace my husband gave me. Although I feel horrible most of the time, I can still look fabulous. As my dear friend Dawn wrote, purple is the colour of royalty. I have decided to be queen of my little world.

I am a woman who has practiced fiscal restraint pretty much my whole life. When money falls into our lap (it does happen from time to time) I allow us to purchase big items. Most of the time money does not fall in our lap and I go without. It has been over a year since I bought new clothes and when I did I just bought oversized sweatshirts that would help keep me warm that make me look 30 pounds overweight. I have not bought nice new clothing in four years.

I suffer from spending anxiety. Usually my heartbeat goes up and I panic and put everything away. I have lived through various stages of poverty and even now when I think things are OK I get scared. Ridiculously scared. Well, fuck that. I am so sick of fear.

It wasn't going to be easy so I knew I had to start small the day before. I started off at a thrift store and bought some essentials. I love going to thrift stores looking for treasures. I got some shirts and two pairs of pants and went home. No panic. I felt good.

The next day after getting my hair done I went to the only major clothing store in my whole neighbourhood. And, I asked for help!!! I NEVER do that. I skulk along and brood over not liking anything. I told the woman about some of my clothing issues and found out about their comfort fit line. I tried on the pants and couldn't believe it, they fit. They fit!!! And, I looked all curvy and lovely in them. I even found some bright and colourful sweaters and shirts too and spent too much money and you know what? I don't care. I don't want this to be another summer where I suffer in the three outfits I own that I hate, that don't fit right.

So do you want to feel great about being a curvy queen? If you are like me and resemble foodie Goddess Nigella Lawson (nothing wrong with that, she is gorgeous) here are some tips that have helped me:

• V necks are your best friend, scoop necks can be good too
• Avoid sleeveless shirts, a little sleeve goes a long way
• Wear shirts that are long enough, short shirts make your body look shorter and your "assets" look bigger
• Crisscross shirts are your best friend as long as they are long enough
• Avoid too much pattern, especially horizontal lines, I love those shirts but wow, not flattering
• Get your colours done, I love autumn colours but have discovered that the shock of winter colours liven up my olive palette and make me look less like death
• Pants are the hardest, comfort fit are great because they have no zippers so the lines around the belly and hips are lovely and unrumpled, giving a great feminine look
• Long full skirts tend to be more flattering than short but I love short skirts so I break this rule all the time

Now I am no fashion expert which is why I got all these books out of the library on this topic, I don't know what the hell I am doing when it comes to clothing. Whenever I stop paying attention to these shopping "rules" (you know how I feel about rules) I try something on and want to cry, I look so bad. When I follow the rules, I am always pleasantly surprised that I look like how I see myself in my head reflected back to me in the mirror. I love being a curvy Goddess, the trick is to find clothes that fit and show off how awesome you are.

We are royalty. We are the queens in our lives. (I have no time for princesses but if that works for you, go for it.) Unless you are a shopaholic, I have a feeling you're like me and put your money towards other things more than yourself. Well I have had it. It is time to take care of this queen of the castle and be fabulous. I dare you to do the same.

The trouble with treasure

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So surreal to see the tacky plastic flowers all over the place in this graveyard, including forgotten ones in the bushes

It does not appear to be a graveyard, but it is. All the headstones lie flat, like the residents. I stick to the path, not wanting to step on top of human bodies. How creepy this is the closest thing to a park we have here. Thankfully my camera seems to have come back to life but after smudging it, I realized that there was something else I needed to cleanse too.

I picked up this stunning Baribocraft Canada wooden bowl from a thrift store for $1! Don't you just love treasure? The problem with second-hand treasures though is they can come with nasty energy. I did not sense bad energy from this vessel but I did walk through a funky graveyard with it that threatened the life of my camera. As a result, I cleansed it.

I learned this trick from Rachael Ray. She shows you how to clean a wooden cutting board with coarse salt in this video. Salt is one of the most powerful protection tools we have to work with in magick. Yes, it is not a glamourous tool but it works! There is a reason why Sam and Dead use it on Supernatural, it is very old magick. So I used coarse salt and hot water to scrub the bowl clean of physical and the spiritual residue.

It is the new moon so join in the cleansing! I personally find physically cleaning my home a very spiritual practice. Today I am going to tackle my oven which has not been cleaned in a year, I am embarrassed to admit. You can see our discussion about it on my Facebook Page here. When you live with disabling pain, this type of cleaning is especially brutal. I will honour the new moon with this one huge cleaning task and then relax.

You do need to be careful about things you bring into your home though. Our instincts are good indicators when it comes to energy resonance but it is always a good idea to make stuff your own by either smudging, scraping with salt or putting it through the laundry. If you still get weird energy from it, get rid of it. Treasures are great but not when they steal energy or bring bad mojo into your home.

Have you ever bought something that you had to let go of because of weird energy? I would love to hear your stories.

Wishcasting: What do you wish to experience?

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Yesterday I decided to walk through the graveyard. It is the closest thing to a park that we have here. No gothic headstones, instead they lie flat against the ground unseen. Unnerving.

I took this photograph of a crow in a tree and then my camera started to act weird. The farther I walked into the graveyard, the harder it was to take photographs. I figured the batteries had died so I would just replace them with fresh ones. My camera did not come on. I put two more sets into the camera and it would not come on. When I got home my good friend Dawn on Facebook suggested I smudge the camera which is what I did, panicking. I do not know what I would do without my camera! So far, so good.

So what does this have to do with Wishcasting this week? As much as I hate for my personal electronics to be put into peril, I wish to have more paranormal experiences in my life. I do not feel like me without the spooky element. I feel boring. I feel too normal. Yuck.

I wish to experience the weird and wonderful. I have no interest in being ordinary. Bring on the bizarre! I am ready for it.

Just leave my camera alone!

Tomorrow I will wear purple

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May 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and to honour it I will wear purple. I have been thinking a lot about my illness lately, how it seems to be my personal barometer, protector and oppressor. The first time I heard about this illness I was struck by the horror of it. Constant pain and exhaustion, no escape, no reprieve... for an entire lifetime. What could be more frightening? Ironic that I was diagnosed with it two years later.

This is an illness of our generation. So many people, especially women, are burning themselves out and their bodies are breaking down. We push ourselves too hard, try to be everything for everyone and do not believe in our own limitations. We ignore our bodies who warn us that we are going too far by ingesting caffeine, sugar or whatever to keep ourselves going.

It is not worth it. Trust me. I lost everything because of this illness.

In return, it has given me another life. Different than what I wanted but a life nonetheless.

In some ways, I have more freedom now. I set my schedule, I listen to my body, I rest, I meditate, I do yoga, I walk all the time, I have to keep a slow pace or else I can't think but I see things others miss...

In my life I try and focus on the things I can still do and try not to grieve over the many things I will never do.

Tomorrow I can wear purple.

The Happy Book

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Well it is really looking like spring has finally sprung here. My magnolia tree is blooming, the trees are covered in buds and my lawn mower guy finally showed up and tamed the green beast growing around my house.

The moon is waning into fourth quarter and soon will be dark and new. I can tell because I am finally getting something that somewhat resembles sleep at night.

I am actually experiencing what is known as "warmth" from time to time, I had almost forgotten what that felt like. I am happy to return to wearing skirts but have yet to kick off my hut booties, it probably won't be until mid-summer that my feet thaw. Still, I will take what I can get.

So busy lately, it has been a joy for things to slow down just a little and spend time in my kitchen. From potato salad to slow-cooked homemade tomato sauce, I am feeling better and better the more kitchen therapy I get.

There is also something big to look forward to! On Wednesday May 19th I will be interviewed by Jamie about my experience with Circe's Circle. You can listen to this call live, just make sure to register with Jamie. I will put up more info soon, just wanted you to know how happy I was that this was coming up and how important Circe's Circle has been to my life.

Oh how I love sunshine, nature and food! I feel like I am getting a bit of a reprieve now, perhaps I will bake something today to celebrate spring's true return.

Change behind the paper curtains

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I don't know if you can tell from this photograph of downtown Halifax that a container ship is swimming by the buildings along the bottom of the hill? I found the image to be quite surreal, the unmoving buildings and the containers bobbing by.

I have been downtown more often these days now that life is finally warming up and the area has been on my mind a lot.

How bizarre to be out at dinner at The Wooden Monkey and everywhere around us is covered in rubble or vacant lots. You walk along Barrington, the major strip of downtown Halifax, and for blocks store after store is boarded up and empty. I hear there are finally things brewing behind the paper-covered-glass but it is so weird to walk through a city that sometimes feels more like a ghost town than the hub of the community.

Yes, I am back to the smoke stacks at Tufts Cove. I can't seem to help it. It bothers me so much and yet I can't look away. Now, I think I know why. Recently Shelagh and I went out for a day downtown and she told me that the Mi'kmaq people had a settlement there. Until the Halifax Explosion. So many people in Halifax died that day, including this entire settlement. And what did they replace it with? Smoke stacks. Sometimes I wonder if this place is cursed.

I am beginning to understand why I pick up on such dark energy here. This place has so much tragedy and sadness. I remember being shocked going to the Maritime Museum and seeing their map of shipwrecks of Nova Scotia. The province is absolutely surrounded by loss.

I am sure for people who grow up here, you probably do not notice it although my husband grew up here and he feels it. I feel it. As comfortable as I am with ghosts and the paranormal, being an empath I need to be near living energy that gives and away from dark places that take.

It is my hope that Halifax has finally decided to tear down the past and begin a new life with new stories and bury the tragedy for good. I see so much potential here and yet there is a strong resistance to change. Change is inevitable for all of us and I hope that soon Halifax will go through a powerful and positive transformation.

Like the ship passing in the night with its containers, only seen for brief moments, movement is happening even if it is not visible to all. Curses can be broken. Luck can change. It is time for Nova Scotia to replace their sad stories with happy ones.

Celebrating Canadian Navy's 100th Birthday in Halifax

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Yesterday I went to the Grande Parade in downtown Halifax to honour and celebrate the Canadian Navy's 100th Birthday. I got there kind of early so I could get a seat. I was amazed to see that already there were Naval personnel all around the square. For those who are new to the Halifax area, see to the tower in the top right? That is Halifax's Citadel Hill clock tower.

There was a sea of white hats that filled up the square in front of City Hall, absolutely amazing to see all of the east coast Navy at one time and remember, the square was also completely surrounded by the Navy too.

As we listened to many influential people speak about the importance of the Canadian Navy, I was shocked to find out that we had lost someone in Afghanistan. Petty Officer 2nd Class Craig Blake died on Monday from an improvised explosive devise. We have not lost a sailor in six years. It came as quite a blow during a time of joy and still brings tears to my eyes. I am so proud of the men and women who serve our country, it was a profound moment to be downtown with them during their time of loss and joy.

As the Navy personnel marched down Barrington back to the dockyard, you could not see where the parade ended. For those who live in Halifax and do not realize just how much the Canadian military has a presence here, I hope it was eye opening. This is not a huge city, our men and women in uniform are an important part of the community in so many ways.

Here is one particularly dashing Naval officer holding on to his hat as the crazy and very rare warm wind threatened to blow it off. All the ships were covered in celebratory decoration to commemorate this special day and even the HMCS Fredericton arrived home that morning to loved ones after a long deployment. How sweet that Able Seaman David Holden proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes after they had been separated six months!

The weather could not have been more perfect or more surprising. Believe it or not, I got a sunburn yesterday! I forgot that you could get one of those here, LOL. Nature was kind to Canada's Navy and celebrated its 100th Birthday with perfectly blue skies and a refreshing and crazy wind off the water. I am glad I managed to be a part of this important day of celebration.

Blessed Beltane

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May 1st is here! Blessed Beltane to all! This year I wanted to do something environmental to help the earth. A dear friend of mine gave me some advice on healing our little river so I decided to do a ritual for the river and connect with the Native spirits of the Mi'kmaq people. In order to prepare, I smudged myself with sweetgrass at my altar to cleanse my spirit.

Then I walked to where a beaver has created a damn to keep out all the garbage, smart animal!

I used a Wiccan tool to call on the spirits, a bell. I use this to get attention from the spirit world all the time and wanted a spiritual element that I am used as part of my ritual. I called on the Mi'kmaq people for their help to protect the river from pollution and ignorance. I told them how sorry I was that this was happening, that I was doing everything in my power to help but needed them too.

As a sign of respect and gratitude, I offered them tobacco to say thank you to them for listening to my request.

I used a swinging drum to honour them and say good-bye.

I had brought a small bag and filled it with all the garbage that had accumulated in just one week since I had cleaned the same area.

I know that Beltane is usually about fires burning and fertility magick but for me, I needed to take advantage of the thin veil between worlds. The veil is very thin right now and will not be this thin again until Samhain in the fall. I will still celebrate in my own way but what was more important to me is help and ask for healing for the Earth here. I am only one woman whose body is filled with pain, there is not much more I can do here. This place needs a giant shift and the people who are true to this land are more powerful than I will ever be. I am but a gypsy stuck here but this is their home. This is where the healing truly needs to begin.

May we all have our inner fires burning this weekend filled with fun, good food, laughter and for those lucky enough, sunshine and true warmth. Blessed Beltane to all!