The Tangled Garden: Grand Pré, Nova Scotia

When you drive through Grand Pré, Nova Scotia, you might drive by The Tangled Garden (web site is not currently loading) by accident. It is site covered in foliage and living green but it would be unfortunate for you to miss it. As soon as I went inside I wanted this to be my home. Herbs suspended from the ceiling, jars filled with brews infused with herbs... what a special place.



I did realize something while I was there though, I am a stickler for classical flavours. As much as I love the idea of herbs infusing foods, when I tasted the samples of jams containing herbs like anise, lemon balm, lavender... I could not taste the fruit. Their flavours disappeared! The woman behind the counter said, "We are all about the herbs here." No kidding!

As a foodie I did not enjoy the jams or liquors but would use them for magickal and/or medicine purposes. In fact I may just make some myself!



For $3 you can wander the gardens they grow to make their products and it is lovely. Artistic, unique with lots of personality, this is a special spot.



These jar were not labelled so I believe they were out in the garden for decorative purposes but see how they are infused with sunlight? How they beam! Stunning!



Herb gardens, a meditative labyrinth and even a crop of towering sunflowers, what a special spot the Tangled Garden is. Amazing that decades ago is this place was just a small gift shop on the highway with nothing around and now every inch is alive and vibrant. A wonderful spot I will not soon forget.

The Happy Book

Man, my kitchen is so dark!

I did it! Thank you to everyone who helped wish this jar of canned and properly (I hope!) preserved peach jam into existence. I will be sharing the process and the story on my foodie blog next week along with making pickled cucumbers, cauliflower and beets! I can not say it was easy, there was drama while making it and my lower back hated the process so I ended up in the fetal position afterwards watching Ghost Hunters to recover. Still, I did it!



Another thing that made me really happy this week is my small crop of sweet one millions. This is my entire harvest from three plants this year but it is the first time I successfully grew RED tomatoes. I honoured them in my tomato and cucumber salad and wow, that is what tomatoes are supposed to taste like!

Also, thanks to the wishes, white light, pain killers, anti-inflammatories and me not lugging groceries home on my back... my shoulder is doing much better. I don't want to jinx it because it is still very sore and I have to be careful but there has been progress and that is all I care about. My wounds never seem to really heal but as long as they are not completely debilitating, I am relieved.



There are signs appearing all over the place that Halloween is coming! Yes, I hate what follows it but I am not going to allow winter to bully me out of the joys of my favourite time of year. I have picked up some cool little dishes and props for my Halloween food photography. So much fun!

So that is my happy for the week. Happy weekend everyone!

Apple Dunking For Idiots

Why? Why would somebody throw all of these apples (and there were many more down the river) into the water?! Now at least it is biodegradable but still! At first I was hoping they were from local apple trees, I know there are some around here but it is the wrong season and nope, I looked around, no apple trees.

I know there are people out there who want me to be positive. There is a part of me that wants to be positive too but what is more important to me than that, is to be truthful. When I was happy and felt connected to where I lived, it was easy to be truthful and positive. Here, it feels like one giant lie.

So what do I do? Keep quiet? Pretend? Lie??? No, I take pictures. And shake my head, a lot. Knowing, I do not belong here.

Yes, when people are kind enough to take me out of my current situation and take me to pretty places I get to escape but I still can not hear Nature's voice. At Conrad's Beach I was impressed by the jewel we found and my friend Kelly asked me about connecting with Nature while we were there. Nothing. I felt nothing. I can appreciate it like a painting, from afar, but the painting does not talk back to me. For once Nature has just become something merely aesthetic, two dimensional. This breaks my heart.

You can not force love. It is like I moved in with this guy that I thought I was compatible with and it turns out there is no chemistry. The longer we are forced together, the more we start to loathe each other. The best we can do is tolerate each other's existence. In reality, we want to strangle each other.

The photo above makes me think of a cruel joke. An invitation to go apple dunking when really it is an opportunity for me to smash my head against the rocks a little more. I am done playing games and trying to make friends with this place.

I am the hanged woman of the tarot, putting up with my situation knowing it will not be forever. I may be stuck but I am gaining wisdom and growing. Dreaming of one day being the Fool again.

Wishcasting: How do you wish to spend some time?

This week Jamie asks for Wishcasting: 

How do you with to spend some time?

There are things I really want to spend time trying but I am nervous. I bought some eucalyptus oil and cinnamon oil from a spirituality shop and I want to make air spritzers for my rooms but I am intimidated and have no idea why. I don't know how much oil and water to put in the bottle I bought or it if is a good idea to combine them at all. When I don't know what I am doing I get really nervous and avoid doing it. I bought the eucalyptus for my health and we love the smell, smells like home to me. The cinnamon is for protection and warmth through the winter.



It may seem weird to you but this foodie is terrified of making preserves. Yes, I know it sounds stupid. I read a book once about a woman who accidentally killed her mother-in-law with her ill-prepared preserves and since then, I have been totally freaked out by the idea of making them. Yet I yearn to do so!

I almost got through my fear yesterday but then I called my mom and she said preserving freezer jam is a mistake, just put it in the freezer instead. I got overwhelmed. I blame the Pisces moon. It was a crappy day yesterday!

I know I will get to both tasks but any additional help would be awesome!

Dreamboard: Pisces Moon

I wish I could have gotten new magazines and played with paper for this month's dreamboard but with a hurt shoulder, my own photographs have gotta do.


Update: Great! I ask for better timing and for things to improve and find out there is a hurricane on its way here. Crap!

Can you feel the intensity of the Pisces Moon? I sure can. I feel very emotional, brimming strong feelings and am really upset with the timing of things going on. Going to the blueberry fest here was a complete disaster. I am getting invoices for someone with a different name. The ending of movies getting ruined at the theatre. Getting stood up for an interview I was supposed to do with someone (not the Globe and Mail, I hope! I was interviewed about gelatin and it is supposed to be published in the food section tomorrow). Opportunities coming my way that I have to say no to because of health issues. It SUCKS!

I need to turn my luck around. I need the timing of things to be better. Most of all, I need my shoulder to heal so I can get back to life.

As an update to that bizarre chiropractic sleeping experience I had last week, I was going to go to a chiropractor but changed my mind. I had made the appointment and everything. But then all this ridiculous stuff happened and it just made me feel like putting my health in a guy's bone-breaking hands in a place that really has only been bad luck to me is not a wise decision. Perhaps when I am back west I will consider it but for now I am going to go back to the one healing practice that has always help: yoga.

I have been practicing for 13 years and since moving here, I rarely do it. Yoga requires the ability to be OK with where you are at and with how you are feeling which in the past has helped me cope with chronic pain. Considering I am now living in a place I do not want to be, yoga has become almost impossible for me to do on a regular basis. I am not OK with being here. Still, I will try to get back into it, help open up my shoulder again and find my very lost inner yogi who I think is still hanging out with the Garry oak trees on Vancouver Island.

Despite living in a place that feels wrong and living with an illness that sucks the life out of me and wants break me into tiny pieces, I still want to live up to my potential. I am still a writer, I am still a photographer, I still have much to give to the world. Thank you for helping me make my dreams come true.

Eat Pray Love... how dare you, you evil bitch?

Yesterday I went to see the film Eat Pray Love. I had read the book and was very curious to see how a movie interpreted Liz's worldwide journey. Of course I had to buy popcorn and a drink for the movie! I felt that eating during this film was only appropriate. I tried to tune out the reviews and comments I had read about the film that had called Liz either selfish or self-indulgent and just enjoy the woman's story. That was hard to do. The canvas was painted before I even showed up to check it out.

It amazes me that we are a culture of women who can send energy to other women's wishes to help make their dreams come true but then there are also women who think, "How dare you for making it happen?!" Is it only OK to wish that a dream come true and wrong to make it happen yourself? If this had been a story about how a man had lost his job or family and he decided to walk the Wall of China we would see him as noble and adventurous. A woman leaves her home to learn how to enjoy life again without a man, without family so she can connect to the vitality of the divine and celebrate life is a horrible human being.

What is so wrong about wanting to be alone? To go on an adventure? To fight depression and sorrow with things that make you happy? Why are we so programmed to assume that to do anything big for yourself means you are a horrible woman? To want more out of life than what most people choose? Oh to eat with abandon! To find stillness, forgiveness and a connection to a higher consciousness, as well as rediscover who we are outside of our regular setting. To find love in lush, tropical paradise. Yes, that is what I call evil. Are you noting my sarcasm?



Well call me a heathen then. A heretic. An evil woman. I make fabulous food just for me. I do not want children. I study yoga. I am dedicated to the moon. I will return to my rainforest paradise one day. I am worse than Liz. I do not just want it for a year, I want it for the rest of my life so I must be downright diabolical.

As I sat there during the last five minutes of the movie, so moved by Liz's courageous story, a back-to-school video came on twice the volume as the movie and obliterated the ending. I almost cried. Then I realized it was the universe whispering to me once again, "Your life does not work here. Get out as soon as you can!" We were given free passes, as though that could make up for ruining the conclusion of the story.

I hope we as women begin demanding more out of our lives. As long as we believe that putting time and energy into ourselves is "wrong" we are controlled into being puppets of appropriate behaviour. Men do not even have to try to keep us in line, we do it to each other. We must get married, forfeit our careers, have children, not do anything for ourselves...

It is all lies. We are the authors of our lives. We just forget.

Write your own story, whatever that means to you. Take the time to listen to your own heart. Know that it is OK to say no to emptiness, unhappiness and unfulfillment. The rest of the world may be jealous but is it not better to be the envy of others than to be part of the angry disillusioned hoard?

The Happy Book

It's Friday! Time to talk about The Happy. On this spooky foggy morning in Nova Scotia you can see that my mini tomatoes are alive and actually turning red this year!



I took this photo from my balcony. My garden fairy is doing a fantastic job of protecting my pumpkin patch, you go girl!



At the very least I successfully harvest one mini sweet tomato and one small hot pepper this year. I will take it. I also made Wild Nova Scotia Blueberry Jam earlier this week which made me very happy.

Those of you who regularly follow my blog will know that I seriously injured my shoulder in my sleep. For Wishcasting this week I asked for healing energy and to have a fresh start with my body and health. Yesterday I went to the walk-in-clinic and am now taking pain killers and anti-inflammatories which have helped. But get this!

At 4 am this morning I was lying on my back (I NEVER lie on my back, sleeping on my back is impossible) and something gently moved my shoulder around until I heard tiny clicking. I woke up very gently as it was happening and was so relieved and a little freaked out at the same time. Invisible hands seemed to have given me an adjustment in my sleep!

I wish I could say that the pain is totally gone and I am HEALED! But no, it still hurts but it does feel more right than before. When I sat up to get out of bed the back of my shoulder clicked and cracked without me doing anything so it was like getting two adjustments!

So thank you! Thank you to all you healers out there! I do not exactly understand what happened but I do feel like the problem has been "righted" and with the meds maybe I will heal before winter comes? I am forever grateful!

It has got me thinking about seeing a chiropractor. I always listen for signs from the universe and the only kind of healer I have not considered has been the chiropractor but maybe one can help me? What do you think, oh wise ones?

Wishcasting: Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

This week for Wishcasting Jamie asks: 

Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

My answer? My body. I seem to have torn my shoulder in my sleep and it keeps getting worse. I am taking pain medication, icing it regularly and it hurts even more. Without the use of my right shoulder I can not do anything. I especially can not get food and I am really trying not to panic. I have friends who can help me but still, I need what little independence I have left to stay sane here.

This is an old injury, over 10 years old. My body never fully heals, injuries pop back into my life. This is a very, very bad one though. It is extremely debilitating and such a painful reminder of my illness which I try not to obsess about. This is one of the worst physical hits I have taken in a long time. Last time I had this injury this badly it did not go away for years and that included lots of physiotherapy.

I wish to make a fresh start with my body, let it heal, give it time. As a result, I can not go and help with other wishes again this week. Luckily I have been busy in the kitchen so I have a few posts for my foodie blog pretty much already done. But even writing this hurts.

It is the summer and I am wounded. I am really trying not to freak out about the winter, when I really turn to glass. I can not start winter already hurt. I just can't. So any healing wishes, I welcome you. I am open to all healing thoughts and energy. Flood the front of my right shoulder with your healing powers please.

And thank you. Thank you so much.

Leaving my garden in the fairies' hands

Once again I was attacked in my garden by so many biting bugs and now bad weather is upon us, plus, I seemed to have re-torn my right shoulder in my sleep. That injury is 12-years-old. My wounds never really heal.

As a result, I am going to leave it up to my new garden fairies to protect my garden. This one is in charge of my pumpkins.



I did have to spray off the aphids from my mock orange which seems to have helped but now it is up to this fairy to watch out over this special bush for me.



My hydrangeas are just outstanding this year, must be all that amazing sunshine we have gotten this summer. They are doing well in spite of my neglect.

It is becoming clear to me that my body is struggling extra hard and I am getting into a danger zone. I have been plagued with nightmares, sudden losses of consciousness probably due to low blood pressure and now muscle tearing in my sleep. This is not good.

There are thunderstorms coming today so I think I will rest, ice my shoulder, take ibuprofen and let my garden be. I have no idea how people do this kind of work on a regular basis. I have to let my garden be wild, I do not have enough strength to take care of it.

It is clear to me that when I go back home, outdoor maintenance will not be on my priority list. When I go back, I will go back either completely wild or urban. In the wild woods or in the city.

Today, I am in the ugly burbs resting, hoping my shoulder comes back to me.

Balmoral Grist Mill

On the way back from the Jost Vineyard (article to be published on Food Network Canada's blog) we made an impromptu stop at Balmoral Grist Mill. To be honest, we really did not want to pay the oddly priced $3.60 for a tour of the mill so instead we descended down the long staircase to the bottom of the gorge on Matheson's Brook.



How many times can you stand on the stones of a gorge and look up at a dam? I certainly have never done it before. We saw people walk along the pedway so perhaps if you were not cheap like us you could spend the $3.60 and see more than just the mill, LOL. We spent enough money buying blueberry wine for one day.



It is always great to get exploring with my friends who help keep me sane and functioning in Nova Scotia. My favourite adventures are always the spontaneous ones off the map and this definitely qualifies for that kind of visit! A neat little side trip for our long day out in Northern Nova Scotia in the summer.

The Happy Book

Doesn't this sign look like it is riddled with bullet holes? How appropriate. 

When the purse strings get tight, the wallet goes to thrift stores and flea markets. For The Happy Book this week I had to really work hard at figuring out what has made me happy. I have been exhausted, plagued with headaches, attacked by biting bugs in my garden... but, I have found some treasures and I love treasures for cheap!

The thrift store is not close to my home so it is a big deal for me to walk over there. I do not usually buy a lot but I love to look at the fun and funky finds around the store. 

I love making frozen treats and I use the word "yummy" all the time and could this penguin be cuter? I recently got this t-shirt for $3.



This last time I was at the store I paid just $1 for this mold. I can not remember the last time I only spent a dollar in a store! These treasures really help inspire to be creative. I stopped by the grocery store on my way home and picked up some peaches, cream and gelatin and made...



Peaches and Cream Panna Cotta. Had I not bought that mold for $1 I probably would not have come up with this idea. So I am happy I got through to payday getting to shop and treat myself a little here and there without breaking the bank. This is actually one of my favourite things to do, go looking for special and unique items. I am not a huge "stuff" person so I will use them for a while and then let them go to another home.

I know what is coming, the signs are everywhere.

Last night I sat out on my deck in my mildewy wooden chairs and looked through Halloween books from the library. It was crisp, cool and delicious outside. I looked up into the trees and was so grateful to still see lots of green.

Still, the acorns are beginning to fall and you know what that means, autumn's approach has begun.

Yes, fall is my favourite season and Samhain makes me giggle and cackle all at the same time. But my body is full of fear and foreboding. I know that six months of physical torture is around the corner.

Winter here is torture for me. Even in the cruel heat of summer, I remember the marrow-twisting icy fingers that have left ghostly fingerprints on my DNA.

I have always hated bullies. I have wanted nothing better than to come across one as an adult and get him into trouble. But what do you do against a bully that is more like a pretty psychopath that traps you for half the year?

One day I will be free. I have one winter left in me, it will be my fourth here. After that? I will run off the BC and live in the woods if I have to. I am no fool. I will not be a chronic victim.

For now, I will enjoy the last days of summer. I will gorge myself on blueberries. Buy heavy sweaters in August, my only armor. Stock up on food, fill my new deep freeze with the tastes of August and enjoy the time of freedom I have left.

Wishcasting: Where Do You Wish to Send Some Love?

Jamie asks for Wishcasting this week: 

Where Do You Wish to Send Some Love?

Well I have been so busy lately that I have completely neglected my garden so I wish to send some love there. The good news is, for the most part it is doing fantastic without my help! You can see the orange pumpkin blossom growing so it is official, the pumpkins are coming!



I even got one blueberry from my first blueberry bush, best tasting blueberry in the world!



My morning glories are doing exactly what I wanted, climbing our old ugly fence towards the sun. I am hoping it will eventually give us some privacy in the backyard and make the fence less unattractive.



My purple hollyhock has gone insane! I had no idea they got THAT tall! I can not wait for those buds to open.



Shockingly, my strawberry crop continues to yield some strawberries!

So that is the good news. The bad news is that aphids are killing my beautiful mock orange. I have used detergent water spiked with cayenne, nothing works. The peppers and strawberries growing in containers on my deck seem to be getting attacked by some kind of mold. And I continue to be attacked by biting bugs, right now I have a huge welt on my right forearm. When something bites me, my skin goes crazy and blows up so a little mosquito bite is a big deal and a spider bite? I have gotten two of those in the last few weeks and well, you just don't want to hear about them.

I need love to go all over my garden and protect me while I am in there. If I keep getting attacked (so far the fire ants have stayed away from me thank the Goddess) it just does not inspire me to spend any time out there at all.

Thanks for your help! Blessings to everyone.

Leo's New Moon & My Polka Dot Pants

Yesterday was the first time I had done any kind of cleansing in a while. It was also the first day in ages I did a lot of relaxing and did not have to be anywhere or do anything. I wore polka dotted pajama pants all day and felt great. I usually live in a world of solid colour and zero prints. I do not like standing out of the crowd. Yesterday was a day for recharging my seriously depleted batteries.


It takes a lot of courage from the Leo moon to inspire me to post these unflattering pants of mine but I feel I must! 

With the new moon in Leo, I knew that my cleansing had to use candlelight first and foremost. I actually felt quite happy as I banished darkness from my home. Quite powerful.

Leo is energy that is unusual to me. I am Aquarius and it is my opposite sign. We are very different and most of the time I envy the outgoing nature of Leo. I live my life alone most of the time, in silence. Leo is the exact opposite. How amazing it was to be completely alone yesterday and yet be infused with outgoing happy energy just for me!

Thank you Leo for helping me be less afraid to kick darkness' butt out the door wearing peach polka dot pants. My self-esteem is growing and my insecurities of being judged, falling away. Yesterday was a good day.

For those new to my blog and want to learn about cleansings, go here to check out my previous posts on the subject.

Lawrencetown Beach, Nova Scotia

After our spontaneous and wonderful detour to Conrad's Beach, we continued our drive to Lawrencetown Beach. Sadly the powerful hurricanes that have come here have stripped most of the "beach" away leaving treacherous cobblestone path along the majority of the beach, the sand stolen away except for beneath the waterline.



But the power of the waves is what makes this beach so popular. This is where the surfers and stormwatchers go. Even right before the new moon the waves are very tall giving the surfers peaks to play with.



My favourite moment is after the waves fall and the world turns to a frothy white blanket of seawater.

If you are not going in the water, you could stare at the waves for hours. It is just such a shame that the sandy beach is now gone and you have to navigate over sliding rocks. Lawrencetown is really for those who want to get wet and beaten by the Atlantic, forever trying to tame its wild waves.

Conrad's Beach: A hidden gem of the HRM

If you are driving out to Lawrencetown Beach, which is THE beach to go to for big waves and surfing, you should do yourself a favour and check out the local hidden treasure, Conrad's Beach. Seriously, I might get into trouble for writing about this beach, there seems to be zero talk about it. I think the locals are going to get mad at me for sharing this information with you. I myself am hesitant since I want to keep this place a secret too but it is too amazing not to write about.

While driving to Lawrencetown you will come across a street named Conrad. We missed it the first time but not to worry, you can turn around at the convenience store that also sells lots of ice cream (no public washrooms though). If you go by that, you have gone too far. If you go past the MacDonald Tea House, you have definitely gone too far. Just drive down the street and soon you will see cars parked on the side of the road. Park and start walking towards the boardwalk. The area around it is marshy and lush!



Look at what is just over the little hill, completely hidden from view! I swear, it is like a private beach. Beautiful fine red sand and very few people. The water is ridiculously warm for the Atlantic Ocean, I may actually be able to go into this water one day!



You can walk all along the beach and then there is a path of stones leading to what must be an old wharf. Walking along this path you can watch the waves come in and really see the circumference of the waves swimming towards the beach!



We did not walk all the way to the end to check out the old posts of the wharf that the seagulls seem to love perching on. I will next time though! It would be like walking out into open ocean. It was at this point we realized that if you kept walking along the left-hand side, the beach continued! Again, a complete surprise!



When we arrived I noticed a woman who was walking with her invisible dogs (lost in the tall wild grass) along a path so when we got to the other side of the beach I wanted to see if I could find it. You know I love walks in nature! What I was not expecting was a huge grove of pine trees and then some sporadic pine trees that were drowning in giant grass:



Unfortunately this path is not at all taken care of so if you go through here I suggest doing so while wearing pants, not shorts. My calves were bare and there was a ton of clover with many buzzing bees. My poor friend Kelly who is the one who discovered this secret beach is terrified of insects and this was a long walk but she did great! We all came through the walk unscathed.



My wild unruly hair went crazy in the salty windy air by the ocean and I don't care. I was so happy to discover such a fantastic gem in Nova Scotia that I had never heard of before. What a magical local discovery. I will be back!

The Happy Book

I know this post maybe not appear to be a very happy one this week for The Happy Book but trust me, for me, it is very happy.

It has been another long and too-busy week. But! I got my annual check up done and here I am in the photograph waiting for the bus to take me home. Drivers, you do not know how lucky you are. Half an hour wait for the bus and my back was killing me. To drive there would have taken 15 minutes. For me to bus home, over an hour. Still, it's done and overwith.



This morning I rolled out of bed at 7:20 angry. I usually try and get to the blood clinic before the hospital even opens around 6:30 so I am one of the first in line. Not this year! I put my hair in a ponytail and called a cab. I sat down to see there were almost 30 people ahead of me just to register, god knows how many were already registered waiting for blood work.

The first time I went to this clinic I waited over three hours to get my bloodwork done. Today? An hour and fifteen minutes. But it is done! Oh and BTW in BC I never waited more than 15 minutes.

Every year I get anxious and stressed before I get this stuff done. I had an issue with cancer in the past, one I do not like talking about, so every year they have to check and make sure I am still OK. Once I have been to the clinic I can let go, stop thinking about it and move on with my life. As long as the phone doesn't ring with bad news, life is good.

Next week I have much less planned. I hope to have a little more fun. Maybe get out to the movies or get a bite to eat at a neighbourhood restaurant. I want the serious crap to be over. I am happy that the medical ritual is behind me. Now, my summer can really begin.

One of my favourite things... Lost in Austen

You do not have to be a fan of the literary genius Jane Austen to get Lost in Austen but I suppose it would help. Imagine being a very contemporary woman transported to your favourite fictional world and realizing just how hard fitting in would be. And all the trouble you could get up to!



Last summer PBS aired Lost in Austen and I fell in love. I am a woman who has romantic notions and yet am not genteel in any way so I could completely relate to Amanda Price's reaction to the Edwardian world she finds herself in. It is one thing to be sick of a modern life, it is another to be a modern woman dealing with aristocratic conventions.



And then there is Mr. Darcy. Dreadful and wonderful, he is perfectly portrayed. Imagine getting to meet your favourite literary love interest of all time in real life? Would it be a disappointment? Or would it be perfect? You will have to watch Lost in Austen to find out.

This mini series had me constantly laughing out loud and talking to the TV. It took me some place I have always wanted to go and was the perfect summer escape. Thoroughly entertaining and satisfying, rarely have I enjoyed a mini series this much. Even if you have not read Pride and Prejudice, I am sure this would be something fun to watch. If you have, you will LOVE Lost in Austen.

This mini series was available at my local library so go online and see if you can get it at yours. If you are looking for a cheap escape this summer, I highly recommend this funny, witty and contemporary look at the timeless lives of Jane Austen's characters through a 21st Century woman's eyes.