My greatest lesson, my little teacher

I bought this Asian money tree about three years ago. Notice how it has three strong limbs? By the end of the winter last year, it only had one limb left and it was not strong enough to stand on its own, I had to hold it up with a bamboo skewer. It also only had one little bundle of leaves left.



Thanks to a ton of sun this summer (well, in comparison to other years) it came back healthy, vital and strong. But the leaves are already dying off again. Turning yellow and withering away. I am not sure this plant is going to make it through another dark, dreary and cold winter here.

Of course I am cheering my plant on. I open up the curtains to let even the palest ray of light touch its leaves. I often feel this plant is mirroring my situation here. Each winter I barely make it through but I have no bamboo skewer to hold me up to the light. I have to do that myself, just keep waiting for the sun and warmth to return.

I will be honest. I almost threw this plant in the compost last spring. I did not think there was any hope in saving it but it came back. Still, next year, I am not so sure.

Thankfully the snow here has melted away. It is cold but I rarely leave the comfort of my house now. I try and sit in the sun when it finally shows up as much as I can but the light will be filtered by glass. Still, my soul will breathe in the beams and help me get through another day.

Nature is still my greatest teacher. The lesson of the last three years seems to be survive until you get transplanted back home. I am doing my homework. Taking care of myself through good food, yoga and gentle exercise. I will sweep up the dying leaves of my money tree, open the curtain for it to touch the wan and distant warmth of the sun. I am cheering for this little tree and I think it is cheering for me to hold on too.

The Happy Book: Favourite Recipe

This is a reprint from my foodie blog post on Ginger Biscuits for the Happy Book this week. There is nothing better than ginger cookies in the winter. These are filled with fabulous spices that help settle tummies and make you feel warm and loved. Cookies as medicine, nothing better.

Jamie, I still miss THE potatoes!!! One of my favourite dishes ever and wish I had that recipe!


I love that you can see my kitchen window's view of the bare trees reflected in this glass mixing bowl. Click here to enlarge.

Oh how I wanted to tinker with this recipe! I normally never use shortening, always preferring butter, but I held fast to most of the original components of the recipe. I personally do not need 40 cookies so I did divided the recipe in half. I still needed a big bowl so if you are going to make this get the biggest mixing bowl out that you have. I will share the original measurements here with you.

Cream together 3/4 cup of shortening with 1 cup of sugar.



Beat in 1 egg and 1/4 cup of molasses.



In a separate bowl sift together 2 cups flour, 2 tsp baking soda, 1/4 tsp salt, 2 tsp ground ginger, 1 tsp cinnamon and 1 tsp cloves. I used a little less cloves. OK, I said I tinkered a bit! Blend dry ingredients into the wet ingredients.



The recipe says to shape into small balls. I used a small ice cream scoop that I use for making truffles and it worked perfectly.



I rolled the cookies in some PC Organics Sugar that I love to use for baking occasions just like this! Of course you can just use regular sugar but there is something special about this sugar that I love.



Place the balls two inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake in a 350F preheated oven for 8 to 10 minutes. I think I baked mine for 8, you really do not want to over bake these. They should still be soft when they come out of the oven. Cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes and then move to a cooling rack.



Oh how I love the crackling!!! That is what makes these cookies so very unique and stunning.

I have had friends make these since I posted them and they were a huge hit! My new fabulous next door neighbour said they were the best cookies she has ever had so that is a very good sign too! May these cookies bring you as much happiness as they have me and my friends.

Happy Birthdays!!!

As Americans are celebrating Thanksgiving today, I am celebrating my Dad's birthday as well as my mother-in-law Lorraine's.

Here is my Dad at Port Royal when he visited last fall. I haven't been able to visit him since but I hope to get back to Ontario and give him a big birthday hug next spring!



Here is Lorraine at Cora's, we took her out for brunch earlier in the year and had a lovely time together. I adore my mother-in-law and really hope that she has a special stress-free birthday today.

Finding the candlelight inside a dark snowy pit

It amazes me how a place can be so white and gloomy at the same time. It defies logic, it corrupts science.

Yes, we had our first real snowfall here last night. Thankfully I do not have to shovel yet which is a good thing considering I am getting back spasms already from the cold. I just got a $600 heating bill, staying warm means paying a second mortgage half the year here. And, I am still freezing, wracked with pain.



I lit this candle last night. It was still officially the full moon. I had a warm bath (our house is heated with hot water so there is no such thing as a hot bath here) with epsom salts and a couple of drops of tea tree oil. My skin is allergic to the winters here, I am hoping the tea tree oil helps me suffer less.

I put all my sadness and pain from the last three years into the water. Imagined the bath water was all my tears from the past three years. Then said good-bye and let them go down the drain.



Five more months of torture, of darkness, is ahead of me. I am determined to make it through. I have seen how anxiety can tear a life apart. I am too tough, mean and ferocious to let this winter destroy me. It is if my fourth here and my body may not be but my spirit is stronger than any winter, anywhere.

I can not promise I will not be changed under the crushing pain, become even more bitter. But I will not break.

November Full Frost Moon Dreamboard

Click here to enlarge

Here is my dreamboard for the November Full Frost Moon that I made during Jamie's Dreamboarding Telecircle. What an amazing experience to dreamboard together like that! Usually I make mine alone in my crafts room but this time I had the support of fabulous women and the leadership of my sister Jamie.

I have a lot of wise women energy going on here, the stirring of spirituality and the integration of ancient wisdom about herbs and food, how they relate to healing. Foodie influences abound, especially Nigella's presence, she is such an inspiration to me. How I would love to be the next Nigella lawson with a writer and photographer's edge.

The stunning collection of knives symbolizes wealth and investment in my foodie dreams. Buddhas and meditation abound, as do yoga and spiritual healing. I even see a woman in shorts and hiking boots that reminds me of BC, finally, a connection back home. The word "Initiation" underneath it, telling me I need to survive where I am to get back home. The woman doing yoga on a stone in wool socks on a snowy mountain symbolizes making peace with the cold and finding strength in the frigid air.

The housewife image was the weirdest and most difficult one for me. I do not like that imagery very much but I am embracing it and love that the word fairy was above her head. The woman with white hair meditating brings me peace. A lot of people take growing old for granted, for me, it is a goal.



I can't believe I actually spent time in my crafts room again. It has been abandoned for a while now but I do hope that I get to spend more time in there. How fun it was to rip, tear, cut, throw paper on the ground and make a mess, something I usually loathe doing. Today it was OK though, creativity needs anarchy.

This month's dream circle was so powerful. I am ready to heal. I am ready to grow strong. I am ready to receive wisdom. I am ready to be prosperous and find my way back to spirituality. And of course, go through the initiation to find my way back home.

The Happy Book: Tourist in Your Own Town

When Jamie said we were going to be a tourist in our own town for The Happy Book this week, I knew it was going to be challenging for me... and it was. I live in an area with churches, graveyards, big box stores and lots of garbage. I do not fit in here. This is the closest thing to a park we have, an abandoned field near the highway.



I spend way too much time and money at our local dollar store but hey, that is the entertainment I have around here.



No Canadian big box store burb is complete without a Canadian Tire.



There is one natural element around here, our little river. Sadly, it is quite filled with garbage. Here is a pretty trash-free shot for you.



Lately I have been seeing these lovely ladies out of the water. They have been wandering up to the road to snack on the acorn meal that people walking like me have set free with their heavy feet. They are completely unafraid of me. They warm my heart for a little while...



... but then I see and hear this and I know it is time to go inside. Try to block out the sound of the tree killing.



You are greeted by this star when you walk into our house. In the Maritimes these stars mean you are Acadian. For me, it means we have a magical home so we keep it inside to ourselves and it does make me happy every time I walk in the door. We are starting a collection of nautical art, I am crazy about the ocean and miss living near it.



Here is my refuge, my chronically dark kitchen. This is actually a pretty sunny day, if you can believe it. One day I want to paint every surface with white reflective paint to help boost the brightness of the room. I got two quotes on doing that and they were $1,100 - $1,300. Um, yeah, right. I'll work in my dark cave, thanks.



Here is what I call my pantry. As you can see, I am more than ready for the zombie apocalypse.



Here is my crafts room which is pretty much abandoned. I go in there to pull a tarot card and light a candle every now and then.



This is my favourite view of my town. One of the reasons we bought the house was because of the trees outside the windows. No where else in the neighbourhood do you get that. I saw dozens of houses with windows right up against their neighbour's windows. When we found this place, I knew this was the closest thing to home we were going to find.

So I apologize, this is not the happiest post but I am not happy with where I live. I did my best. I truly wish I was a tourist in this town. One day, I will be again.

Breathe again, Jupiter and Venus are going direct, getting back on track

How rare to see nature in my neighbourhood and I loved how this apple was suspended amongst the chaos of the branches and neighbouring pine needles. A woman walking by smiled at me when I took the photo. I smiled back. I could tell she saw the specialness I was photographing. There is sustenance and energy where we live. The evidence is rare but unmistakable when it shows. I had to captured that special truth.

I had no idea what I was going to write about this morning and then I remembered this photo I took last week during our rare sunny streak. As I was editing it, the sun came out for a second. It is amazing how powerful that star in our sky is. I could feel the energy shifting. I checked my calendar.

Both Jupiter and Venus are going direct today, thank the Goddess! Soon all will feel less wrong, fingers crossed. I am going to celebrate with making a potato leek soup and maybe bake something today. I am feeling less hexed in the kitchen. I also get to open a present from President's Choice today, so exciting! I am one lucky foodie and I am grateful.

I hope you feel things lightening a little in your world today. Enjoy the fresh astrological air!

Book Review: Witchcraft by Clary Croft

Nimbus Publishing graciously sent me Witchcraft: Tales, beliefs and superstitions from the Maritimes by Clary Croft to review. I thought it would make perfect spooky reading during the dark turn of November in Nova Scotia. I had no idea what I was in for.

Clary Croft is a good writer who sought to share the tales of witches in the Maritimes without embellishing or adding his own flare. From reading this book I can tell he is a true folklorist, dedicated to gathering tales from the people in one book for us to enjoy. I found it fascinating that no matter where he went, someone had a tale or a secret interest in hearing about the witches of the east coast of Canada.

He himself obviously is very open-minded and began this project out of the love of stories and all things witchy. In the introduction he begins with, "My destiny was foretold by a witch." Love it! I found the story of the woman who lived next to his grandparents fascinating. Her penchant for crossing sticks in the middle of the road to prevent people from passing her house intriguing, how she accurately predicted he would end up having special gifts and be born a boy. Sadly, from there, the book takes a dark turn.

"Women living alone were sometimes unjustly suspected of witchcraft, especially if they were from outside the common heritage of the community."

Over and over again, the stories people tell Clary Croft of witches of the east coast are for the most part, quite disturbing. The common theme throughout is witches get blamed for just about everything. If your cow stops milking, if your butter will not churn, if you suffer an ailment it is obviously a witch's fault. 

"Place needles around the house because if the witch changes herself into a cat, the needles will pierce the cat's skin" [Creighton]

One belief from the east about witches that is interesting is that people truly believe they can transform. A common way they would trespass into someone's home is through a keyhole by turning themselves into smoke. They could also transform into animals. It is quite clear that in the mindset of Maritimers, witches are powerful supernatural creatures. As a result of this belief, they get blamed for just about everything.

Retribution is also a common theme throughout and practising a hex against the witch was one of the only defences against "her evil ways." "Stopping her water" was a common approach to making her suffer as well as revealing that she is a witch:

"... if you suspect someone is a witch and she comes to your home, you must have ready a bottle with a cork stopped into which you have stuck nine needles and nine pins. Once the witch is in your home, you excuse yourself to urinate into the bottle and stop it up with a pin-stuck cork. Tie the cork on firmly with string so it can't pop out. Once this charm is enacted, the witch will suffer great pains because she will be unable to pass her own water. In addition, the imprint of the needles and pins will be clearly visible around her throat."

Fascinating that doing witchcraft was evil unless you practiced it against a witch. Then it was OK as long as she suffered and not you or your family members.

When I first got this book I was so excited. I thought it would be filled with tales of wise women who helped heal people in the community, who were secretly admired and feared from afar. Instead this book is packed with ways to purge witches from your life forever. There are some somewhat positive stories about witches but for the most part it is quite clear they are feared and treated mercilessly:

"A witch in Lunenburg County wasn't so careful and the results were tragic. A man suspected his wife of being a witch and decided to test her. He said he was going away to learn the art of witchcraft to which she replied, "You needn't go away. I can learn you." That was his proof, and later that night he took a hoe, she took a shovel and together they went out to the dung pile... that act was the wife's undoing because once there the man took his shovel and 'killed her stone dead.' [Creighton]"

If you want a book filled with stories on how to fight evil witches (who were for the most part probably just innocent scapegoats for people's bad luck), then this is the book for you. There are just not enough positive stories about good witches to share, probably because they know that being labelled a witch on the east coast would be a bad idea considering how they have been loathed for centuries. "Understandably, some people are reluctant to speak to me about witchcraft." I wonder why?

For those who love the folktales of the east coast, you would probably enjoy Witchcraft: Tales, beliefs and superstitions from the Maritimes. A lot of research has gone into this book to share Maritimers' stories and personal experiences dealing with who they thought were witches. If you have a positive perspective towards witches and have no desire to repel them or do them harm, let this one go.

Protecting yourself against dark forces

I have had a difficult time lately. Last week on my Facebook foodie page I got totally attacked for writing this negative restaurant review big time. I was called names, I was accused of sabotage... whatever. Then last night on Twitter someone commenting on my review said I made them sick and that I need psychiatric help. Over the weekend I got a first degree burn when my mushrooms blew up in my saute pan for no reason, I almost sliced the top off one of my fingers and then dropped my knife on my foot, bruising it but luckily I did not slice it open.

So this morning I walked over to my spirituality store in my neighbourhood and I saw these! Blue obsidian!!! They just glowed, I loved them.


Sorry for the image but I feel it is important that my injury be witnessed

I picked up the card for the stone and it says, "This is the protection stone for sensitive or psychic people. It provides a wonderful screen against negative energy." I looked at the owners and said, so this is why I am here! Instincts tell you everything and mine told me to go out in the cold and rain for help and I got this stone.

Not only that I permanently banned the two troublemakers from the group. Yes, it would be nice if they had an attitude change but I knew that was not realistic. Even their supportive comments came across mean and nasty. We must protect ourselves from the bad, both spiritually and with the decisions we make. I have decided to do what I can to keep the crappy people away from me.



You may have noticed the intense energy as well. I keep hearing stories of other people getting attacked. The owners of the store were also dealing with the same kind of thing and said that it is seems to be happening to everyone. We are going into the dark time of year and that is making everything that much more intense.

The best part of everything that happened is the love I felt from people standing up for me! Seriously, it was overwhelming. So many people came to my defence, applauded me, protected me. I learned an important lesson though. In the end, the power is in my hands. I had to consciously decide to close that door on that energy to feel better. Waiting and hoping that things would get better threw me off, put my well being in danger. So I kicked them out and am now so happy to be back on track. It feels great to feel more stable and strong.

Bullies totally suck!

Saying good-bye to the sun

I woke up and it was zero degrees this morning. The world was covered in frost. Pulling back the curtains, the cold air breathed on to my sleepy eyeballs waking me up, immediately.



Two weeks ago the days were the darkest I can remember. As my sister Shannon and I recorded Hexed via Skype, her space in Ontario gleamed brighter and brighter and by the end of the podcast, she could hardly see me. It was like my candle in a cave faded away and I turned into a shadow before her eyes.



Thankfully life lightened and even warmed up a little and filled my house with glorious golden light. Knowing how rare this sunshine is, especially at this time of year, I took the opportunity to shoot a video to launch my new calendar. What shocked me even more was most of my house was too sunny to make the video in. I had to do it in my kitchen which is usually the darkest room in my house. Check it out.

Today is our last day of sun for a while. Days of rain are coming and let's be honest, they will probably end up being snow days very soon. I made the most of the sun while I could. I know my dark cold dungeon days are approaching. I hope these memories of the sun are enough to keep me warm, keep me going and remembering winter is not forever.

Saying good-bye to the Sackville Flea Market

Normally on a rare beautiful Sunday morning like the one we are having today I would consider visiting the Sackville Flea Market to look for treasures. Recently I noticed that this Christmas Discounters opened up where the market used to be. I found an article online saying the local flea market was going to shut down. I was heartbroken.

I have been hesitant to visit the store because I am not a Christmas-y person but I finally took a step inside.



It begins with a sad display of some Christmas items which is what I was expecting. Then...



... it is a room filled with crap. You can pick up some Christmas food items which makes sense but the rest? I don't get it. I suppose these are potential cheap Christmas presents no one wants?



I just do not get it. I will miss hearing the lady sing Nova Scotian songs on her accordion.



All the beautiful glass kitchen items and seeing the same faces.



My favourite kitchen wares people who I happily supported by picking up many treasures from them.



The farmers who would bring in their produce and the crazy and fun items that I would never buy but made me smile.



My vanilla guy who I would I would support with my serious baking addiction.



My cutlery guy that had such fantastic deals my cutlery drawer is now packed to the brim with his wares.



These treasures will be all I have left of the Sackville Flea Market. I am glad I invested right away and got out to the market as often as I could because now it is gone.

Farewell...

Repel the dark but be open to the light

I have spent a lot of time exorcising bad energy out of my house using my cleansing techniques. What is also important to keep in mind is opening up to positive energy too. If we just push out the bad and then keep the windows of our soul closed, nothing good can enter. It has taken me a long, long time to realize that I was doing just that.

It has been dark and miserable here in Nova Scotia. A few days ago, the temperatures came up and it felt like spring. Oh how we could just skip by winter! But no, we must endure. Still, for just a few seconds I opened my kitchen window and let that beautiful warm air inside. Then we had 24 hours of windstorms and the skies howled and howled. I woke up to golden sunshine filling the house. Nova Scotia is bipolar and right now she is happy and smiling and making the world a little less dark and dreary. I will let that energy in and keep it inside, thank you very much.

Cleansing our space and repelling the bad energy is important but so is invoking and inviting the good to come visit us too. I am lighting candles every night to ask for protection from bad energy and sickness... but also to fill my heart with spiritual inspiration and help those I care about.

Let the energy flow in and out like a deep stable breath, like the ocean's waves on  a beautiful day.

The Happy Book

For The Happy Book we are supposed to talk shoes this week. Sadly, this is a very painful topic for me. I broke the arches in my feet after an aerobics class years ago and my feet have never been the same since. I can not stand or walk for more than an hour at a time. I wear orthodics. The ones I have are being held together with packing tape. The new ones I spent a fortune on do not fit in my shoes so I have to buy new shoes but there is no where here I can buy shoes so I continue to wear the old orthodics in the old shoes.

I did find these Pepto-pink Croc-wannabes at the dollar store this summer and wore them in my garden. I would prefer to have fabulous shoes that I love that look beautiful on me but for now I will celebrate me not being self-conscious enough to care about being seen in these pink atrocities. I also surprisingly celebrate that I actually really do like them because they make me smile. I have a long and complicated history with the colour pink. Wearing these is an act of rebellion against fashion which does suit me and make me happy.

I can not wait to live in a place where I can go really go shopping again. My wardrobe is very sad and makes me very depressed. I wish I could wear pink shoes all year. I have replaced them with hut booties that help keep me sane and warm throughout the winter. One day I will have shoes that are more than just functional.

For now though, I just want warm and happy feet.