Right beside the graveyard of the Chronicle Herald were these two stickers on the chain link fence encompassing the lot. My husband discovered them, I am kind of oblivious to details like this which is such a shame because I love these ghost stickers. I would have hated to miss them. It made me think that someone feels the same way about this eyesore. And that Halifax is a pretty paranormal city. There is a big part of me that wishes I lived there. I have never been a city person but living out in a horrendous burbs without parks or sidewalks, I am starting to reconsider.
Driving home from downtown
I have to come to terms with the fact that my pagan path might be over. I have no connection to nature anymore. I of course still care for it with every breathe of my body but it does not speak back to me. I feel like she has broken up with me and nothing I say or do makes a difference. If this is truly the case, then it makes me reconsider a lot. I always thought that when I got back to BC I would live in the mountains or by the ocean again. Now I am beginning to think that the city is where I need to be.
If I have learned one thing since moving to Nova Scotia, I no longer want to feel isolated. I also need my freedom of movement back. I want to be able to get out and do stuff. As much as I love being home in my fantastic kitchen, I also need to quite frankly, get a life. Nova Scotia is the worst place I have ever lived for a non-driver and if you are disabled? You are screwed.
Of course I have no idea how we could ever afford to live in a city but I am going to stay open to that possibility. It is not as if it is going to happen anytime soon but I am keeping all my options open.
My pagan path may have come to an end but I will follow my instincts and inner voice. Perhaps they will help me reconnect with nature when I get back home but for now, I will follow the ghosts and let go of the trees.
4 comments:
It's good to be open to new possibilities!
I Love being a city kitty--I wouldn't have it any other way. And honestly, cost wise, it's more economical. I walk to work, food is less expensive and the variety available to you is amazing, if you rent--someone else shovels your side walk!! Not to mention all the art and music and weirdos you meet. :)
The "Dark Night of The Soul" thing is tough. It sucks. No doubt about it. But maybe it's not abandoning the path--maybe you need something new from the path? I'm not a tree hugger either, but I've discovered new deep ways for the goddess to sing to me. You've got good Guts. You'll know what to do. :)
So much Love and Best of Luck on your path! Blessings~*
Molly
Suzie, I agree with Molly. Perhaps the path is changing. Perhaps it is changing away from paganism. I know mine is changing so much I couldn't give it a name. I know it's not the traditional religion of the majority of my family and friends. It seems as if this is a time rife with change for many, so you certainly aren't alone.
I also agree with you *and* Molly about the 'burbs vs. the city. If I didn't have kids in the (better) suburban schools, I'd put this house on the market and move in town in a heartbeat. I do drive, and still feel horribly isolated here, on the edges of my hometown in an area I didn't even know existed growing up in the city. (Not trying to make this about me; just letting you know I relate.)
Ghosts are often excellent guides. I'd say you're on to something here.
I am not a suburb kind of girl and loved when we lived in the country when I was a young girl but living in the city has its advantages. I am not fond of my city, but I am firmly convinced the only reason I stay somewhat sane is that we are so close to the river and I love seeing how it and the landscape around it changes from season to season. I have not been able to walk along the riverfront in nearly a year and it is wreaking havoc with my moods. Even in the city there are places to commune with nature. We have one car so I have to walk or bike when my hubby has the car, which is every day, walking is my quiet time. I dream of living in the country again, but I enjoy the convenience that the city provides and I love my neighbourhood, it makes living here a bit more bearable. I do not enjoy my city either.
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