A sign from the Universe gives me hope

Before the decluttering mania began, I did something I did not have the guts to do before. I got out my Pagan Tarot Deck and spontaneously asked if we were going to move to BC in the next year. I pulled The Empress Card. I saw three generations of women in the garden together and figured this meant domestic bliss which I equated with home ownership and went on my way to make dinner in the kitchen.

I stood there chopping vegetables when it seemed like I heard a clicking in my brain. Followed by a "Duh Suzie!!!"

If there was any card in the deck that said Victoria to me, it would be this card.



When we moved to Victoria we stayed at the haunted Empress Hotel. I refused to stay anywhere else, this is where I wanted to be. On nights that we lost power due to the violent winter wind storms the island gets, this is where we would go for refuge. We used to go to the Bengal Lounge to listen to jazz music. We even stayed there after the movers had packed up everything in our apartment and had to wait a few days for our flight out east. In a way, this has always been my home away from home.

But how could it be? Seriously. There is so real indication with my husband's work that this could happen in any way. Just now looking at the card I see the statue in the background and I am transported to Hatley Castle, looking longingly at the sister statues in the English garden. I used to go to this garden at least three times a week. My favourite was to go to the Japanese section and sit in one of the pagodas and write in my journal. Sometimes a woman would go to another pagoda and do yoga in the middle of the lake. In the last three years, these memories would bring me to tears but right now, it fills me with hope. There is energy brewing here...



This is part of what got me on my decluttering kick. I had these BC items all over the house and as I emptied my crafts room leaving only the essentials, I felt I needed to bring everything together.

You have a porcelain bell and a whale snow globe my husband brought back for me when he was in Victoria last summer. You have the athame I bought online when I lived on Eagle Mountain. When I went through one of my books on tree identification I found three leaves from that mountain suburbs which actually made me catch my breath when I saw them. The stone is from my garden in Victoria. The giant shell is from one of my wild winter walks along the lagoon on Vancouver Island. The photo card is one I picked up in Tofino when I was there when Jamie and Justin were visiting. One of the best memories of my life.

Even if the card is wrong and we don't go home in a year, I am sensing movement towards leaving and that is really all I can hope for and ask for right now. I need to know change is coming for us, eventually. Being stuck, no energy swirling, no hope of getting closer to our future is what plagues me at night, what gnaws on my spirit. I know you may not believe me but I can be patient if I can sense that we will eventually get home. I had no sense of that until now.

Now, I will wait and bake cookies and enjoy my big beautiful kitchen while I can.