My Electronic Scrapbook: Chilliwack Corn Maze, British Columbia, October 2003

It was October 2003 when the sun started to disappear on the mountain. Reg was out of work and I lost myself in the ever-darkening woods of Ridge Park.



We lived on the east side of the mountain so we did not get much of a sunset but what we could see sometimes looked so very odd.



But then there were still sunny days and despite our situation, we would go pick up Cathy, Liz and Mary and go on another adventure. This time it was to check out a corn maze in Chilliwack.



Now this was a real corn maze. Walls high above our heads which was pretty darn freaky. As much as I loved the movie Children of the Corn, I did not want to get lost forever in there but it was so much fun.



Well we all survived and enjoyed a hay ride!



Reg was kind enough to insist he take a photograph of me. Surrounded by mountains in BC with our friends, I was in my element.



The farm had a pumpkin patch and I am not quite sure if we ended up buying this particular pumpkin.



I do remember that this is the one Mary brought home that year.



They had a lovely petty zoo with the most stunning goats. I absolutely adore this photo of Liz during her pink hair days.



The goats absolutely adored Cathy, totally surrounded by love.


I managed to get most of us in this self/group portrait of our fun day together

Sadly, for some reason, I have no photographic record of our actual Halloween that year. With our situation the way it was with no income, perhaps we just stayed home and turned off the lights? Which makes me sad. But times were hard and they were going to get harder.

Still, I remember this golden day out in Chilliwack so clearly. It was one of the best days ever!

Goji Berries & Chinese Medicine... Improving the element of "water"

My acupuncturist is currently in Hong Kong for a while. Before she left I asked her for some advice on how I can naturally improve adding water to my body since apparently I am all fire. She mentioned Goji Berries which are also known as Wolf Berries. They help support the kidneys and my doctor said that they are full of antioxidants. I like the sound of that!



My acupuncturist said that the freshest berries can be found at the Bulk Barn. Reg took me to the Bulk Barn (one of my favourite places on earth) and I filled up a bag with the berries. It ended up being over $20! Considering I only eat 12 a day, I guess that will last me quite a while. I did end up being noticeably shocked. The cashier was kind enough to give me a $3 off coupon which helped, what a sweetheart.

My acupuncturist also said that some people make a tea with them but she does not bother. She prefers to eat the entire berry instead. They are kind of sweet and earthy, a weird combination for me. Definitely tastes like "health food" so I eat them with trail mix and lots of water.

I have not noticed anything yet but I do know that with natural medicine, it takes time and patience. Which is fine with me. I keep walking down this health road, staying open to possibilities.

Let me know if you have any experience with these berries, I would love to hear about them! Also, if you have suggestions to help increase the element water, I would appreciate hearing your ideas!

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish for fall?

Hatley Castle Trail, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

Jamie asks this for week Wishcasting, what do you with for fall? My regular readers know that I have been keeping an electronic scrapbook here on my blog of my former life in BC. I needed to examine the life I lived there to make sure it does not disappear. Since our last move photo CDs went missing, my memory isn't the best and my life there was very important to me. This posting ritual has helped calm me down, soothe my spirit.



I have been going to a lot of doctor's appointments for new and old ailments that have been plaguing me. Painful and ridiculously long rides on the pathetic local transit have given me lots of time to read Dancing with Life: Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering. Very apt for my situation.

This book is phenomenal. So many times I have read articles and books on Buddhism and they just seem to glamourize suffering and demonize the ego. Which does not resonate with someone who likes who she is but hates the physical and spiritual pain she has been going through. When it comes to ego, this book basically says it's fine to have an ego, just don't let it drive the spiritual bus. That works for me!

The fall is the ultimate time for transformation through mourning and letting go. I have learned that my deep attachment and desperate need to get back west has gone from my positive mantra to one that may be making my suffering worse. It is OK for me to still have this desire but it is clear that I may have no power to make it happen, which could suffocate me into chronic panic attacks and crush my spirit if it does not happen. The truth is I may end up some place more physically painful than here in the not-so-distant future.

I wish to mourn the loss of my magical life out west this fall. It does not mean I won't get back, just that I have to start saying good-bye. With each scrapbook post I will re-examine where I have been to make peace with where I am and where we will be going. Holding onto it like a life preserver is no longer helping me. With each photo I post, I will hug it and say thank you for the memories.

I also wish to mourn the life I thought that Reg and I would live on the east coast that did not happen. And it is now clear it will never happen. It hurts my heart, to have Reg's dream broken, but there is nothing we can do about it now.

I will always stay open to the possibility that I may go home but I let go of the expectation that I will. Perhaps something more exciting is coming for me? Or everything is going to stay the same. I will try and not let it matter and make peace with what is.

Halloween is coming

We have been going out to stores looking at the new Halloween toys this year. It is weird because it has been so warm and humid, it has felt like the middle of summer. Today the cool-off is starting and I can't believe how much looking at skulls and witches cheers me up.

This spooky black owl in particular tickled my Halloween funnybone.

The veil is thinning and the time for transformation is approaching. I know change is coming for us but I don't know what is going to happen or what it means. It won't be fast. Knowing us it will probably happen in the heart of winter so for now, I will just enjoy the spooky time of year.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Fall, British Columbia 2003

In 2003, over time I became less and less nervous about going into Ridge Park in BC alone. In fact, after a while, I just could not stay away. It was so beautiful and there were moments the lighting was downright divine.



There is one massive maple tree in a sea of tall coniferous giants that managed to survive. When its leaves fell, they were bigger than my head.



Reg was now on the job hunt and my nerves were fried. We spent zero money going anywhere. I stayed home and started to explore my creative side. I tried drawing and painting to fill up the anxious hours, days and months of worry kept in control with artistic exploration.



The squirrels continued to distrust me which didn't bother me. They seem to be more and more curious which I liked.



We had old family friends visit Vancouver which was so wonderful. We picked them up and drove them around Vancouver. Here are people were on the beach waiting for the sun to set.



We took them through areas where they could see all of downtown Vancouver, a community in the sky made of glass.



We drove until the sun started to set and our reservations at the Tea House Restaurant in Stanley Park were ready. We had such a beautiful meal in one of the most stunning spots to dine in Vancouver. Laughter, stories about adventure and travel filled the night. It was so nice to be with old friends again.



Reg and I continued to visit Buntzen Lake. This cliff face above Reg is in all sorts of TV shows and movies, we know it so well.



Hiking was such a big part of our lives and it was so nice that it was free.



Still, we had to re-examine our lives. As hard as Reg tried to find work in his field, there seemed to be nothing available. Very few opportunities and unemployment only lasts so long.



Reg and I ended up going food shopping very rarely but when we did, we would get all boxed items and pharmaceutical stuff from Superstore but then drive in to Kin's Farm Market. We would sacrifice everything we could except good food and Kin's was a Goddess-send. Absolutely the freshest most beautiful food for the least amount of money. We may be poor (again) now but we were determined to stay healthy and as strong as we could.

My fascination with food really began to grow at this point. I continued to move away from just seeing it as medicine to a thing of beauty. And of comfort. You can live without a lot of things but food is not one of them. My spirit really resonated with the colours, the shapes and the magical healing properties. It was the beginning of my transformation into a foodie.

Autumn is here

I took this photograph in October 2006 while on one of my walk on the trails of Hatley Castle to illustrate my deep yearning to connect with nature. To mirror the hand of the burning maple leaf with my own.



It is so weird that just yesterday the sun was shining and I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt taking photographs of the giant flowers that blossomed this year and this morning, everything is dark, wet and damp. Vibrance has already been taken over by the encroaching darkness of fall.

I will try and embrace the joys of Mabon and celebrate this transition. I will attempt to once again connect with falling leaves.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Summer & Fall, British Columbia 2003

One day I was sitting watching TV in our basement apartment in Westwood Plateau back in 2003 when the phone call came. There was no work left for Reg. No new contracts came in. His company was letting him go.

I think he saw it coming but I didn't. I fell down the rabbit hole of panic. What did this mean? What were we going to do? We were living on a mountain in the burbs of BC, pretty darn far away from the city. Holy crap.



Reg is not one to panic. He adapts. His favourite saying? Mutate and survive. He is unbelievable. A total Taoist, he kept me sane.

I called code red though. If we were going to go on adventures, they were going to be close by. Above you see Reg on a trail on Burke Mountain.



We spent almost all our time in our neighbourhood after the bad news. You can see the mystery neighbourhood artist was still at work.



I tried to find peace and grounding by connecting with all forms of nature. I know many people loathe slugs but I think they are quite beautiful. Everything was sacred to me. I was well into my vegetarian journey at this point too.



We went to visit this sort of marshy trail that went by a community garden in Port Coquitlam, very close to where we lived.



Reg helped me train to make it all the way around Ridge Park which was steep, treacherous and long. Right before they let him go, I cut off all my hair. I should have learned by now that every time I do, financial crisis comes right afterwards and I can't afford to have my hair cut again.

BTW, I haven't had my hair cut since the news about our new roof. I'm too scared to cut it now!



Ridge Park was where I was spending all my time now and here a snake crossed my path. It's amazing the absolutely instinctual fear response we have to them in real life but I worked through it. I got closer and took a photo. He seemed to be quite curious about me too.



I took endless photographs of the flowers in the neighbourhood. My desire to do photography got quite wild and with being stuck in the same place, I just kept taking more and more photos.



We cancelled everything but basic cable. To keep from going crazy at night we played board games. On Friday nights we would play and the local PBS channel would show old movies where we were introduced to the The Man Movies. I really missed going out to the movies though.



Fall came and we had a few weeks to get all our dental work before the plan stopped our coverage. We found out that BC does not put fluoride in the water the hard way. We had cavities for the first time in years! Ugh...

Luckily we found the best dentist we have ever had, Dr. Melody Sun. What a sweetie and such a good dentist! And I am TERRIFIED of dentist! I have always said that if one day I became rich, I would fly to Coquitlam to get my checkups done by her.



We had no real income anymore but we had skies like this at night.



Do you see that bright red light on the right? I took this photograph on a night of astronomical importance which now eludes me. It was probably Venus but I am not certain.

I do know that our life became much simpler and I was filled with lots of fear. What on earth were we going to do now?

The Way of Water

Lately I have been in a state of shock. Everything is upside down. I thought this image of me walking up a huge hill to see the acupuncturist on Monday aptly captured my life right now. I just keep going.

Amazingly, after my treatment and on the way down the hill Reg managed to spontaneously find me and take me home which was such a huge relief. I literally did not know how I was going to make it home, so tired and empty. What a hero he is in my life.



We have spent seven years walking uphill for something that is not going to happen. I have been heartbroken about it and to be honest, quite dumbfounded. We have just been in a constant state of shock.

Reg said the other day he is going to be like water. He is going to follow the flow of energy since trying to make something happen that we wanted did not work. That dream is over and I have nothing left inside.

It is ironic that the acupuncturist said I am empty of water. I believe it. I was all passion and focus for so long. Now I give in. I let go.

My mom said she was relieved to hear that it has been seven years since we started this journey. She said that means the bad cycle is over, that seven years marks a new path. I hope she is right and that our new direction is a good one. I just don't want things to get worse. I'll deal with what is. I have to.

So I will also be like water. I give in. I put my hands up and go down the waterslide of life. I don't understand but then I am not the wisest human being in the world. I'll lose myself in Halloween treats and watch the leaves fall in front of my glassy eyes.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Spring & Summer, British Columbia 2003

When spring really showed up in 2003, Reg and I wanted to return to some of our favourite spots that we missed over the dark and wet winter. First was Buntzen Lake, still probably the most beautiful place I have ever been. We were the only ones there as you can tell by the perfectly still water which was usually interrupted by all the dogs that love to swim in that lake.



We felt so free! The flowers were coming out and we could hit the road.



We drove out to Bridal Falls again which was just so breathtakingly beautiful! I mean seriously, isn't that gorgeous?



We did go some place new. We drove along Crowsnest Pass and stopped where Frank Slide occurred. Back in 1903 (100 years ago, how cool is that?) limestone fell off the mountain, partially burying the town Frank. OK, not so cool.



But then it was back to my walks in Ridge Park where the squirrels never seemed happy to see me, perhaps this little guy thought I wanted to steal his food.



My first glimpse of evidence that barred owls lived in the woods. I still have this feather on my altar today.



We started to visit places close by like Port Moody's Rocky Point Park and took one of the trails in the summer. We always seem to visit when the tide was out.



I began to get bored of my surroundings which I know, is hard to believe. I started to use different filters with my camera to try and see the area with fresh eyes.



It seems that it was in the summer of 2003 that I started to wake up to food photography. Food had become such an important part of my life. I was working hard to eat tons of fruits and veggies to keep my immunity up and try and help my health as much as possible.

But it was this moment when I started to really see the beauty of food. That it was more than just medicine. It resonated with not only my body... but my spirit via my camera.