Emerging from the Creativity Cocoon

As some of you know, I do a podcast about supernatural television with my sister Shannon called Hexed: Sisterhood of the Supernatural. With Hal-Con coming up, I wanted to have some business cards made so I ordered some Moo cards with our logo on it.

Right before the con when life was total anarchy, I decided I wanted to turn the Moo card into a pendant. I tried various different versions and found one I liked. It was not a permanent pendant, but it would last the weekend.



You can see me wearing it clearly in this photograph. I was thrilled with how it turn out (not to mention getting a photo of me with Boba Fett).

Jewelry making is one of those things I just can not do when I am unhappy or uninspired. Food is a survival chakra issue which is why it has helped me so much to write about and photograph it for the last few years. Before I got pneumonia, I was finally really thinking about getting back into jewellery making. And then just after picking up some supplies and finally getting ready, this illness tidal wave hit me.

But! I did make a pendant recently (which I will share later on) that was a success. It has given me hope that one day I will have the energy and spirit to make pretty things again and maybe even sell some and make a little money. I have so many ideas, I just need to heal before I can get back into my crafts room again and create.

One thing that I have done over the last month, other than lying on the couch and resting, is to do research into all the ideas I want to try. In a lot of ways this illness has felt like a cocoon period for me. A time of transformation and has me desperately trying to break out of this bad health cycle and do something I used to love and miss.

Funny how one little business card ended up being so inspiring. Now I just have to heal, damn it. Heal!

Creepy guy with a shovel & mysterious visitors at night

The weirdness has continued. We had a guy, probably 17 years of age, show up at our door during our latest snowstorm looking to make some money snow shovelling. I was immediately wary of the guy. He slurred his words a little, he didn't look very awake but he did look very cold.

Reg couldn't see him and just kept shouting from the basement, "No, that's OK!"

The guy said he would only do it for $5 (which is crazy) which made me feel like the kid was desperate but Reg kept saying, "No..." So the guy looked quite upset and walked away.

I went downstairs and told Reg the situation who immediately wanted to pay the guy at least $15. I put on Reg's big rain boots and rain outside (which was stupid, I have pneumonia!) to go talk to him. When we got to the house I mentioned his price and he said, "Now I am thinking around $15."

Being my father's daughter, I wanted to tell the kid he blew it and walk away. But it's the time of giving and keeping an open heart so I said that was fine.

It was clear to me by the time he was done, the guy was strung out on something. I was probably going to be feeding a habit with the money I gave him but hey, he did the work. I gave him a $20 and he did not bother trying to give me change back. Then he asked me if he could shovel our driveway regularly.

That is when I said, "No" and "Merry Christmas."

Since then, at night, two times we have had someone come to our door and try and turn our doorknob to get in. In general, we do not get visitors at night ever so just someone being at the door freaks me out. Someone turning the handle to our house? I was ready to call the cops.

Now one time there was an elderly gentleman that seemed confused and the second time on Christmas night, it happened again and Reg thinks it was religious people spreading the word.

All I know is, everything is feeling kind of weird. Now perhaps it is my cabin fever setting in or something but I am not sure...

Yesterday I did a serious cleansing of the house and am working on building light not just inside the house but outside too. We seem to have become a magnet for unnerving negative attention which I am not interested in at all. This is my haven and I will protect it.

Anything bad that comes to me is going back three times as strong! That makes me feel better. :)

Looking for the good weird, not the bad

Back in November I picked a card from my tarot deck to give me a forecast for the winter. I got the five of pentacles. I sighed. I figured it meant more par for the course: illness and money troubles. I had no idea that there was a real warning in there for me.

On day that it was quite warm for here, I felt I just had to go out for one last walk. I felt terrible, headachy with a persistent cough but my days of freely roaming outside were going to disappear soon. I walked all the way out to the thrift store. I felt sick to my stomach, I was so tired and felt like crap. I picked up an item that I thought was special and now I am wondering if it is cursed.



This video was taken on my way back home and I was in a feverish daze as I took it of a plastic ball with a happy face stuck spinning around and around in our river. You can hear that I am quite out of it. Although I was quite tired, I just had to video the weirdness.



Then I descended into a feverish hell. While trying to not pass out, I had to get to the crawl space under our stairs (long story to come on my foodie page) and right at the back there was this dark green candle. I did not even see it, Reg discovered it when he came home.

When we first moved in here we also found old glasses down there. I quickly got rid of those and I got rid of this candle too. They both made me feel uncomfortable. In fact that whole space felt weird so Reg obliged my feverish gibberish about needing to seal it up. Which we did with plastic and masking tape.



Sometimes you have to be careful about what energy is left behind by others and what you pick up and bring home. I should never have gone out that day to the thrift store but I did, I felt called there and ever since it has been like we have both been plagued. I am going to get a lot of stuff together that does not feel quite right and let it go in the New Year.

We have a tough year ahead of us and I really do not need other people's energy and crap weighing us down. I want a fresh spiritual start to the new year. Weirdness is good but not when it comes with bad karma and potentially the black spiritual plague. I am just too sensitive for that crap!

Happy Holidays!

Back in late November this was one of the last times I was downtown before I got sick. The city was about to have a parade of lights and looked very festive. Thankfully (in retrospect) we got out of the downtown core before the madness began and the temperature fell.

We are still super sick and gave up on holiday shopping and are just going to rest at home the next few days which is just fine with me, especially after a huge snowstorm fell on us yesterday and now the temperature has plummeted making going out actually dangerous for me.

Puts everything in perspective really.

I hope that no matter where you are that you are healthy and have a beautiful holiday with your family and friends. We will be flaked out on the couch watching movies and drinking tea.

Holiday Spirit?

When I wrote my last post saying I needed a holiday, I had no idea how right I was. Right after that post I got sick. Very, very sick. So sick I thought I was going to be put in the hospital for dehydration from five days of non-stop fever. Turns out that my lungs were so full of fluid I purred when I breathed. I still can't believe I did not end up in the hospital but once on antibiotics, my pneumonia got a bit better. Thankfully I can breathe again but now the exhaustion on top of the fibromyalgia is crushing me into submission.

The one good thing? We have not had much snow and it has not been as super cold. Thank you Mother Nature! Sadly, Reg also got sick, just with a different illness. We have both been passed out on couches together catching up on Sanctuary and watching very silly movies on Netflix. I feel there should be a quarantine bubble around our house.

Yesterday we started to celebrate the winter solstice. Reg got out our window lights and now our house is no longer the dark horse on the happily lit street. I am hoping we get to put up our tree today but am not going  to push it if I can't do it.

I had all of these plans and ideas. I was so excited and inspired. Then, for almost a month now, I have just been surviving and completely housebound. The cold air threatens my chest and potential pneumonia relapse is always a worry. But I can not stay in the house forever. We have done no shopping for each other. What a tough year it has been for us.

I will be so grateful when 2011 is over! Until then, I am going back to bed, at least for now.