As much as I want to lose myself in crafting, we have been under the weight of huge news and realization about our lives. As excited as I am about the prospect of leaving Nova Scotia in a year and a half, it comes at a huge cost. We had such hopes and dreams and we realize now, they are over.
When I discovered this hidden fairy underneath one of the paths in Ridge Park in Coquitlam in 2004, I was filled with a sense that everything was going to be OK. We were poor and struggling but we came up with a plan that was going to take care of us.
Even as the squirrels still chitted at me, we had grown to be neighbours. I did not like the idea of leaving BC ever so Reg and I came up with a plan that meant our chances of staying on the west coast would be excellent. That was always part of our future, to be in BC no matter what. No matter what indeed.
Reg and I went to Nova Scotia to go to great lengths to make sure that there would be no way Reg would be passed up for this opportunity. It put us in great debt but it was an investment in our long-term future.
We came back home to BC, filled with a sense of destiny and hope, that our lives would have meaning and perhaps make a difference in the world. Change would be coming for us and we were excited.
In the meantime I continued to make amulets. I used this robin's egg to make a woman a fertility charm (which I no longer will make). I trusted and believed we were on the right path.
Reg did everything from stripping logs to working in the movies to make money. This is the most prominent image of him from I Robot.
And now it is over. Well, technically it isn't completely over but the dream is dead. This is not how I wanted to go back home but at least we know now that we are going home in a year and a half.
I have been lost in mourning for Reg and his dream. We tried so hard, we thought we did everything right and nothing has worked since we moved here. It is like we fell off the path when we decided to leave BC. I just hope that when we go back, things will feel better. I have been gone over four years now, it's hard to remember what it was like when things felt "right" but I have hope that it will once again.
9 comments:
Suzie - I am sorry! I know how hard it's been for you in NS. And how hard it is to see dreams end and not in the way you wanted them to.
I really hope though that knowing you can head back home will see you through! And, once you're back in BC, we ARE going to find a way to meet in person!! :)
Sending hugs!
I know everything happens for a good reason eventually. We don't always see it right away.
I did not understand: are you coming back in BC in 2014 ?
Maybe we'll still be there, and we will finally meet. Because I know deeply there is not coincidence I met the Ridler girls online ;)
The dream may be dead but only because there is a greater one on its way.
Thank you Tammy and you bet, once I am back out west we are meeting up!
Nolwenn, if things go as planned (ugh, nothing goes as planned but still) we're supposed to head back early fall 2013. Things can always change though but still.
It would get great to meet you in person too! I do hope you're right, especially for Reg's sake.
Wow that is huge news! Things may not have gone as planned in NS, but the fact you're planning on going back to what truly feels like home is a huge step towards your present dreams, and that's a good thing.
Thanks Ava, I hope you're right. I just hope it's the right step for Reg's career and that we will be OK.
I feel bad for you and Reg. I have had career setbacks too over the years and plans that didn't lead to where I wanted to go. But it is true that when a door closes, a window opens and maybe you can sneak into some place better. It was very hard for me to learn to just trust the Universe. I hope things work out well for you both.
I feel badly for you and Reg too. I am so glad you are coming back to the west coast, though. I have a plaque that says: "Sometimes on the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one." I hope this is what happens to you both. xoO
Thanks Debra and I must admit, I am scared. I had high hopes for moving here and it turned out so painful. I do hope this means things will get better but I am keeping my expectations low to protect myself.
Thank you for your support Olivia, you are a dear friend. I do hope Reg finds a better dream since his has been totally shattered.
(((((hugs))))) My friend. I hope things get better. I know it's been so hard. love you!
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