Suzie Ridler: Creative Spirit & Paranormal Enthusiast

Damn the man, I won't wear your boring crap!

2012-01-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

My Style on Pinterest

Pinterest has help teach me so much about myself! No wonder when I go shopping at malls I want to shoot my brains out. Everything is so unoriginal I want to cry. I don't see myself anywhere. Same goes for fashion magazines. No character or humour. It is all so very dull, dull, dull. And I don't like it.

I don't need to wear capes and hats (although I would on special occasions) but I do want some personality and I like things that are unusual and potentially spooky. But I am stuck at home and to be honest, would prefer to make stuff myself than buy it.

When my old sports watch eventually died this week I asked via Facebook and Twitter where I could find some fun and cheap watches. I heard about a bohemian market downtown called The Black Market Boutique (sorry, they appear not to have a site so no link) but I wanted something dark and spooky. I had a feeling they would have happy faced watches but something scary? I doubted it. Plus, I am never downtown! And I need a watch now... mine is D-E-A-D.

I looked online and realized so few people sell spooky watches! In fact, most watches are unoriginal. They all blended together. I did consider creating my own watch online and loved how it looked but it would have cost me around $70 American and who knows how much the shipping fees would have ended up!

Reg and I did a mega-grocery-shop this week and accidentally went down the overly-luminescent cosmetics section. Luckily our eyes recovered and I discovered that they sold watches. Not only that, they had this watch and it was the last one:

Reg, "Isn't that kind of a manly watch?"

Me, "Someone who wants to wear a skeleton watch is not concerned with being feminine."

Reg, "That's true I suppose."

Only $10 and it was in my own neighbourhood waiting for me! I can't tell you how happy this made me. All these years I thought I did not care about clothing. Turns out I just don't give a damn about fashion! I like touches of weird in my wardrobe which is one of the reasons why I am creating my own jewellery and I hope clothing. I am tired of wearing other people's boring ideas that lack imagination.

Oh how liberating to create your own style that says damn the man and showcases your personality. Creative anarchist fashion! Too bad the watch was made in China but you get the idea...

It's Creativity Thursday!!!

2012-01-26T10:38:00.000-04:00

Remember how I made cinnamon and lavender oils for the full wolf moon? Well it has been two weeks and they have sat in the dark long enough. I strained them and they are ready to go and it is Creativity Thursday! I don't know if I will get around to working with them today and incorporating them into jewelry. I am going to see how I feel.

I have a Vincent Price pendant I want to finish recreating and Reg helped me find the ingredients while grocery shopping so I can try and make my own air-dried porcelain. Who knows what I will get up to?

No time to waste! Off to be creative! Have a fabulous day.

Shrinky Boo Berry Pendant Disaster

2012-01-25T09:26:00.002-04:00

I thought I had it all figured out last week. I spent my Creativity Thursday trying to make a Boo Berry Cereal Pendant for myself. I loved that cereal growing up because it was ghosts and food, my two favourite things. Turns out it was the perfect test project for everything to go wrong.

Number one, with clear polyshrink, the ink just did not want to stay. You can see the yellow on the hat just disappeared and the red is barely there.

I shrank the frame with the text with the ghost and some other items I was trying to make.

Now I know it is supposed to get darker but woah, the blue is really dark and the other colours disappeared! And it looks like crap.

So what did I do? I made a separate background which, after it shrank, painted the back with white paint. I also re-created the text by hand and separately. Then I sprinkled on some glitter to make everything pop a little and lighten up.

I tried to attach everything and give it extra shine by adding Diamond Glaze. Which made absolutely everything smear. Ugh!!!

Now I know I should be using a resin instead but most resins are toxic. Which scares the crap out of me. Which is why I have been using Diamond Glaze.

Thankfully I discovered bsueboutiques's channel and in one of her videos on resin she said that if you really want to make this type of jewelry, you have to invest in Ice Resin. And she assured her viewers that when it comes to resin, this is the safest kind around. I did some research and sure enough, she seems to be right. Live and learn...

In a final attempt to try and "make it work" I created another "Boo Berry" polyshrink banner. This time I shrank it on a brown paper bag which works great and saves me from using parchment.

I attached it again with Diamond Glaze, hoping that it would pick up on the dark blue sparkly smeared background and stand out. Nope, not at all! Not wearable.

Yet, I learned a lot. I learned that I needed Ice Resin and that E6000 Industrial Strength Glue Adhesive does not last forever and I needed a new tube since I had not used mine in over two years. I bought both and some other items for very reasonable prices from BeadaholiqueCA via Amazon.ca. I have bought items from them before and they are really professional, fast and helpful.

OK, now I have no excuses. Thanks to my mom who sent me bday money, I have almost everything I need to really start experimenting with pendant-making. It is time to invest in the proper tools and get over my creativity fears and really have fun with jewelry again.

Who knows what I will do next?

Birthday Treats From My Sweetie!

2012-01-24T10:47:00.001-04:00

I am trying really hard to get my crafts room organized. I spent the weekend getting more supplies with birthday money and totally stayed on budget. Reg took me to DeSerres downtown on Saturday and on Sunday drove me to the dollar store where I only spent $20 and got some really cool supplies for my pendants.

For my birthday Reg also took me to Home Depot. I had been struggling over which to get: Dremel Multi-Vise or Dremel Work Station for my birthday. I am trying to get over some of my fears involving jewellery making and a big part of that for me is having the right tools. The vice would help me figure out how to solder and I could finally not be scared to drill a hole using my Dremel with the work station.

When we got there the two boxes were sitting next to each other. I was still having a hard time figuring out which one I wanted. Reg picked up both and got the vise and the work station for me for my birthday! Seriously, did he spoil me or what?!

The weather here continues to be unpredictable. The day before this Snowmageddon we only got a warning about flurries. On days like this, my stomach clenches into knots until Reg comes home. So I throw myself into my crafts room to make time go by faster and get my mind off my fears. Now, thanks to Reg, I have the tools I need to keep me safe while I play with power tools!

It's my birthday!!!

2012-01-22T04:12:00.000-04:00

I have decided that for my birthday that I am going to embrace my inner child this year and refuse to grow up. And my inner child is going to "Look on the bright side of the dark side."

Yes, I have discovered Ruby Gloom on Netflix! Where was this show when I was a kid?!

It is so healing to watch a kid show with a girl who loves ghosts, hangs out with a girl named Misery and loves to bake. I mean seriously, this show was made for me!

More and more I realize that my aesthetic is unusual, my perspective a little dark but still fun and I love the weird. I want to embrace all of those things this year in my life. And maybe forever, who knows.

I was a serious kid growing up and a depressed and screwed up teenager. I never really had a childhood. I am an adult woman now with a lot of challenges but I do have the freedom to finally get back to that kid inside me and say, hey, it's OK to be totally weird and different! In fact, it's very, very cool.

Creativity Thursdays: Oh the importance of failure...

2012-01-19T21:02:00.000-04:00

Curse that life lesson and give it a hug!

They may not look like failures at this particular moment when I took the photo. Then I made some stupid decisions and destroyed them. Instead of getting all frustrated and angry at myself, I let go. So far I have had way more failures than successes but I am getting closer.

I have decided that Thursdays (as long as I am healthy, knock on wood and all that) are going to be spent in my crafts room creating. I don't care what it is (although I am hoping for a successful pendant soon) or how long I do it, I want to make sure I give myself some time to have fun and be silly.

Yes, that is Vincent Price and that is a BooBerry cereal box (as well as a black blob). If you are worried about copyright, these are just for me. Which is why I can experiment. If they go horribly wrong, it is no big deal. I learn and try again. Or change it. Add to it. Destroy is even more and maybe one day, take a flame thrower to it.

It is the making that is important. Right before I got pneumonia I knew I wanted to get back into jewelry making. I was so excited. Two years of nothing and then BANG! And exactly the same moment, I got dangerously sick. For what felt like forever. I spent a lot of the time just dreaming and thinking all sorts of ideas. Could they work? I researched... Is someone doing what I want to do? What about this idea?! Or that one?! What if???!!!

I knew mistakes were imminent. I am walking onto new territory. And loving it even when I am screaming like a banshee. I am making something happen. I am taking a risk. Oh how I have longed to take a risk!

Oh and BTW, my doctor says my lungs are much clearer and I can get back to life again, slowly, but yes, back to life. Normally at this time of year I put the covers over my head and say, "Screw you world!" But after six weeks of "resting" I am done.

Give my Dremel tool and heat gun.

Shopping Online at Old Navy

2012-01-17T08:28:00.000-04:00

The sweater-knit slipper boots on the right are very comfortable but not warm enough for out winter! Great and fun for fall though.

When my sister Jamie came to visit (twice this year, lucky me!) she introduced me to shopping online at Old Navy. There are very few places around where I live to buy clothing and I really had nothing in my wardrobe and just did not know what to do about it. She told me she had gotten some amazing deals through the company, not paid for shipping if the total was $50 or more and assured me that making returning items was super, super easy. If it were anyone else, I would have had my doubts, LOL.

Recently I had come to the realization that I was getting uncomfortable wearing jeans. They were kind of all I had and they were bothering me. Physically and emotionally. None of them fit me well at all and I needed clothes that were comfortable, that I could wear around the house and not lose my mind if they got stained because... being a foodie, that would be inevitable. As a result, I did not want to spend a lot of money on clothing but I wanted new clothes I would feel good in with minimal risk.

Women's Perfect Khakis #595183 Color: Barnswallow

I ordered these pants in a size larger than I thought I would need and also got the Women's Ultra-Flared Perfect Khakis #675504 Color: Classic Navy in a size smaller. I tend to be between two sizes and sure enough, when it comes to these pants the larger pants fall down my hips giving them a jodhpurs look and the smaller pair were not wearable. I have a long body so very few pairs of pants actually fit and as Reg chants at me around the house, "Pants on the ground!" I would rather wear large pants than ones that hurt.

So that was a bit frustrating but the pants are nice and soft. I returned the smaller one for a larger size so yes, they both sit farther down on my hips but they are comfortable. I wish they were a bit warmer and the khaki pants actually have a slight green tinge to them which is unfortunate but because I signed up for the newsletter and there was a major sale, I got these for super cheap. I just wish they offered these in tall, I think that would have helped.

Women's Boot-Cut Yoga Pants #810759 Color: Black Jack

These are the most comfortable and well-fitting yoga pants I have ever had! I got them for just $15 and adore them. I spent all of Hal-Con in them which is one of the smartest things I have ever done. My only complaint is they are already balling up a little but for $15, they were still a steal!

Women's Roll-Over Wide-Leg Lounge Pants Color: Goodnight Nora #683647

These very wide-legged swooshy pants are ones Jamie loves loves loves and now I know why! Unbelievably comfortable and when I wear them, I feel artsy. They were only $18 and I will be buying more, once I can afford to. I want to get them in black and grey for the warmer time of the year. It is way too cold to wear these right now.

Women's Padded Sports Bras #731896 Color: Black & White

I work out (gently) a lot so I am always in need of a good sports bra. I did not realize it at the time but when I bought these for only $10 each that they had this mobile padding inside. I was worried it would break apart, move around... but so far they are OK. These are also very comfortable which seems to be a common theme with Old Navy that I really like. I probably won't buy these again but am glad I got them for such a good deal.

Returns really are as easy as Jamie says. You include the invoice, they provide you with a bag and a return sticker and you just pop it back in the mail. You are not charged for the shipping, you receive a notice via email that your credit card has been credited. I love it! No stress shopping? It rocks and I found the stuff got here quite quickly.

I have had issues with the colours of clothing though. Often things that say tanned or brasswood brown have had a real green tinge to it. I'm picky about that kind of thing so I was not impressed that it was very different than described but then I could always just throw it in the mail and let it go and get my money back.

My online clothing shopping days have come to a halt for a while. Even with the amazing deals, money is just too tight to buy clothing and to be honest, with the −22C windchill yesterday the last thing on my mind is their new spring line of clothing. My favourite purchase so far has been the black cargo pants I bought. They were more expensive than the other pants but with a promo through their newsletter I ended up getting them for only $20 each when they are regularly $37.

I can't do anymore shopping but if you can and you are in the same situation as me, having a hard time getting clothes because you are stuck at home, I really recommend trying out Old Navy. Really great for the basics of your wardrobe and everything I bought has been soft and comfortable. And I am super picky and sensitive.

I hope this helps! It sure helped me. Thanks Jamie!

Listening to my full moon wolf heart

2012-01-10T09:32:00.000-04:00

I just noticed there's a mega big orb over my Lotto 6/49 ticket!!! So cool!

It is a new year so I decided to change my altar. For the longest time it has been covered by all things BC but the Universe is well aware of this desire. Looking at it all the time started to make me sad so I put a lot of the stuff away and started off fresh and clean.

Yesterday as the sun fell I made lavender and cinnamon oils. I moved them to a dark cool place before the sun came up today so these have only been blessed by January's full moon moonlight. I intend to use them in my pendant-making.

The lavender oil will be for those interested in the paranormal, connecting with the other side and becoming more psychic. The cinnamon oil will be for luck, purification and finding warmth in even the coldest situations. More to come on that soon!

The year 2012 may bring huge change for us or none at all. There are already big financial challenges and getting back to making some money with my special abilities is necessary and, thankfully, is something I feel very inspired to do.

I am going to work intuitively and without rules and rituals. The most powerful magic is listening to what your heart says to do. It is time I start doing that.

Hope you had a blessed full wolf moon!

The Suffocating Nightmare that is Pneumonia

2012-01-09T08:54:00.000-04:00

To protect my lungs from the cold, if I do go outside (which I really shouldn't) I have to cover myself up and try and prevent the cold air from getting inside me. Pneumonia is downright scary and not the kind of scary I like!

It all began with a dry cough. I would wake up with it and then it would go. For a while. Then return. Reg said I must be getting sick. I said it wasn't possible. I had no sore throat, no stuffed nose. Just a silly cough.

Then came the headache. It lasted for days. And days... The cough got worse. I went outside without a jacket on a warmish day. Then I knew there was something really wrong. I was so exhausted, so chilly and hot at the same time I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach walking home.

I lay down. Reg came home, glad to see I was getting rest. I told him no, there is something wrong. Then I made dinner, with shaking hands. What the heck is wrong with me?

I started sweating through three outfits a day, minimum. Disgusting. OK, fine, I have some weird flu I have never had before. I probably have a slight fever (I was delirious but didn't know it at the time so I made no attempt to look for a thermometer) that will last a day or so and then I will be fine.

Giving in (except to make dinner because I am so stubborn), I wrestled on the couch with my rocketing and falling temperature. To swaddle myself in blankets or not? Turns out, you shouldn't! Light blankets are OK but if you wear too many, you will burn up.

Then I started to cough. Really cough. Fine! I thought to myself. I have had bronchitis before, I will just take Benylin which should take care of my cough and fever.

Then everything got worse.

I stopped being able to taste sugar. I did not want to eat (we know how odd that is). Everything tasted salty and water tasted like metal.

On the fifth day, I still had a fever but... I stopped sweating and could barely breathe.

FUCK!

That was when I knew I was dehydrated and in a shitload of trouble. I called a cab to take me to the clinic but then had someone stopped by my house to drop something off. I could not believe the timing! I had to wave the cab away. He was pissed! I knew the cab company would now be hesitant to pick me up so I had to wait for Reg. I was honestly scared at this point. My chest was so heavy with fluid and yet there felt like there was no water left in my body. I was in trouble.

Reg came home and took me to the clinic. I was so focused on being dehydrated, thinking that I was going to have to go to the hospital to get an IV I wasn't thinking of the unbelievable cough I had. The fever was so bad at this point my ears were just screaming from the tinnitus. I asked Reg to come in with me because I was worried I wouldn't be able to hear the doctor. Thankfully, I could.

He heard me struggling for breathe that I didn't get a chance to tell him I was completely out of water. He listened to my lungs and asked, "Have you had pneumonia before?"

WTF? Um... No...

"Well you do now!" He wanted me to get chest x-rays and if I got any worse at all to go to the hospital immediately. I got tons of medication, a puffer and went home, shocked. I guess I should have known considering that when I was breathing in and out my breath was actually bubbling! I sounded like a sick dragon, it was scary.

If you get pneumonia, do not read about it on the internet in great detail or it will scare the hell out of you. I was terrified. I unplugged, Reg took over and I rested. I rested like I have never rested before and over time, my lungs mostly cleared and the fever finally stopped. I am still coughing and some days I worry that it is coming back (which is very common) and then I try and rest again.

I live with exhaustion every day because of my fibromyalgia. To have this heavy cast iron weight of exhaustion due to the pneumonia on top of my every-day brutally exhaustion blanket, is unbearable. I can see how people die from pneumonia. I can see how the body, just gives in. Well I am not letting that happen.

After I post this I am going back to bed. Each time I have posted for my foodie page over the last six weeks I have gone back to bed for at least three hours to recover. Which is what I am going to do right now too.

I always heard on the news that if you have the flu, stay at home, don't go to the clinic or see your doctor. But they don't tell you that maybe what you think of the flu is actually pneumonia. Apparently they can't really diagnose it until the damn horrid fever refuses to go away and your lungs fill up. If you take a cough suppressant like I did, it can make everything worse. The fluid just continues to build up in your chest. Don't take a cough suppressant! Get an expectorant.

Overall, I say, go to the clinic as soon as you can. Don't wait until you can't breathe or sweat. Just go.

Off to bed but maybe this will help someone, someday. It would have helped me when I was scared out of my mind.

Emerging from the Creativity Cocoon

2011-12-30T08:01:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, I do a podcast about supernatural television with my sister Shannon called Hexed: Sisterhood of the Supernatural. With Hal-Con coming up, I wanted to have some business cards made so I ordered some Moo cards with our logo on it.

Right before the con when life was total anarchy, I decided I wanted to turn the Moo card into a pendant. I tried various different versions and found one I liked. It was not a permanent pendant, but it would last the weekend.

You can see me wearing it clearly in this photograph. I was thrilled with how it turn out (not to mention getting a photo of me with Boba Fett).

Jewelry making is one of those things I just can not do when I am unhappy or uninspired. Food is a survival chakra issue which is why it has helped me so much to write about and photograph it for the last few years. Before I got pneumonia, I was finally really thinking about getting back into jewellery making. And then just after picking up some supplies and finally getting ready, this illness tidal wave hit me.

But! I did make a pendant recently (which I will share later on) that was a success. It has given me hope that one day I will have the energy and spirit to make pretty things again and maybe even sell some and make a little money. I have so many ideas, I just need to heal before I can get back into my crafts room again and create.

One thing that I have done over the last month, other than lying on the couch and resting, is to do research into all the ideas I want to try. In a lot of ways this illness has felt like a cocoon period for me. A time of transformation and has me desperately trying to break out of this bad health cycle and do something I used to love and miss.

Funny how one little business card ended up being so inspiring. Now I just have to heal, damn it. Heal!

Creepy guy with a shovel & mysterious visitors at night

2011-12-28T07:39:00.000-04:00

The weirdness has continued. We had a guy, probably 17 years of age, show up at our door during our latest snowstorm looking to make some money snow shovelling. I was immediately wary of the guy. He slurred his words a little, he didn't look very awake but he did look very cold.

Reg couldn't see him and just kept shouting from the basement, "No, that's OK!"

The guy said he would only do it for $5 (which is crazy) which made me feel like the kid was desperate but Reg kept saying, "No..." So the guy looked quite upset and walked away.

I went downstairs and told Reg the situation who immediately wanted to pay the guy at least $15. I put on Reg's big rain boots and rain outside (which was stupid, I have pneumonia!) to go talk to him. When we got to the house I mentioned his price and he said, "Now I am thinking around $15."

Being my father's daughter, I wanted to tell the kid he blew it and walk away. But it's the time of giving and keeping an open heart so I said that was fine.

It was clear to me by the time he was done, the guy was strung out on something. I was probably going to be feeding a habit with the money I gave him but hey, he did the work. I gave him a $20 and he did not bother trying to give me change back. Then he asked me if he could shovel our driveway regularly.

That is when I said, "No" and "Merry Christmas."

Since then, at night, two times we have had someone come to our door and try and turn our doorknob to get in. In general, we do not get visitors at night ever so just someone being at the door freaks me out. Someone turning the handle to our house? I was ready to call the cops.

Now one time there was an elderly gentleman that seemed confused and the second time on Christmas night, it happened again and Reg thinks it was religious people spreading the word.

All I know is, everything is feeling kind of weird. Now perhaps it is my cabin fever setting in or something but I am not sure...

Yesterday I did a serious cleansing of the house and am working on building light not just inside the house but outside too. We seem to have become a magnet for unnerving negative attention which I am not interested in at all. This is my haven and I will protect it.

Anything bad that comes to me is going back three times as strong! That makes me feel better. :)

Looking for the good weird, not the bad

2011-12-27T11:35:00.000-04:00

Back in November I picked a card from my tarot deck to give me a forecast for the winter. I got the five of pentacles. I sighed. I figured it meant more par for the course: illness and money troubles. I had no idea that there was a real warning in there for me.

On day that it was quite warm for here, I felt I just had to go out for one last walk. I felt terrible, headachy with a persistent cough but my days of freely roaming outside were going to disappear soon. I walked all the way out to the thrift store. I felt sick to my stomach, I was so tired and felt like crap. I picked up an item that I thought was special and now I am wondering if it is cursed.

This video was taken on my way back home and I was in a feverish daze as I took it of a plastic ball with a happy face stuck spinning around and around in our river. You can hear that I am quite out of it. Although I was quite tired, I just had to video the weirdness.

Then I descended into a feverish hell. While trying to not pass out, I had to get to the crawl space under our stairs (long story to come on my foodie page) and right at the back there was this dark green candle. I did not even see it, Reg discovered it when he came home.

When we first moved in here we also found old glasses down there. I quickly got rid of those and I got rid of this candle too. They both made me feel uncomfortable. In fact that whole space felt weird so Reg obliged my feverish gibberish about needing to seal it up. Which we did with plastic and masking tape.

Sometimes you have to be careful about what energy is left behind by others and what you pick up and bring home. I should never have gone out that day to the thrift store but I did, I felt called there and ever since it has been like we have both been plagued. I am going to get a lot of stuff together that does not feel quite right and let it go in the New Year.

We have a tough year ahead of us and I really do not need other people's energy and crap weighing us down. I want a fresh spiritual start to the new year. Weirdness is good but not when it comes with bad karma and potentially the black spiritual plague. I am just too sensitive for that crap!

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-24T10:46:00.000-04:00

Back in late November this was one of the last times I was downtown before I got sick. The city was about to have a parade of lights and looked very festive. Thankfully (in retrospect) we got out of the downtown core before the madness began and the temperature fell.

We are still super sick and gave up on holiday shopping and are just going to rest at home the next few days which is just fine with me, especially after a huge snowstorm fell on us yesterday and now the temperature has plummeted making going out actually dangerous for me.

Puts everything in perspective really.

I hope that no matter where you are that you are healthy and have a beautiful holiday with your family and friends. We will be flaked out on the couch watching movies and drinking tea.

Holiday Spirit?

2011-12-22T08:58:00.000-04:00

When I wrote my last post saying I needed a holiday, I had no idea how right I was. Right after that post I got sick. Very, very sick. So sick I thought I was going to be put in the hospital for dehydration from five days of non-stop fever. Turns out that my lungs were so full of fluid I purred when I breathed. I still can't believe I did not end up in the hospital but once on antibiotics, my pneumonia got a bit better. Thankfully I can breathe again but now the exhaustion on top of the fibromyalgia is crushing me into submission.

The one good thing? We have not had much snow and it has not been as super cold. Thank you Mother Nature! Sadly, Reg also got sick, just with a different illness. We have both been passed out on couches together catching up on Sanctuary and watching very silly movies on Netflix. I feel there should be a quarantine bubble around our house.

Yesterday we started to celebrate the winter solstice. Reg got out our window lights and now our house is no longer the dark horse on the happily lit street. I am hoping we get to put up our tree today but am not going to push it if I can't do it.

I had all of these plans and ideas. I was so excited and inspired. Then, for almost a month now, I have just been surviving and completely housebound. The cold air threatens my chest and potential pneumonia relapse is always a worry. But I can not stay in the house forever. We have done no shopping for each other. What a tough year it has been for us.

I will be so grateful when 2011 is over! Until then, I am going back to bed, at least for now.

I need a holiday!

2011-11-28T08:17:00.000-04:00

OK I know I am accident prone in the kitchen Reg, but is this really necessary? At least it's pink!

Reg really wanted me to wear this pink hard hat when we were in Mark's Work Warehouse. We made the mistake of going out to the mall on the weekend. I didn't think Black Friday insanity was going to be so apparent here in Canada but from the man screaming at his wife behind me not to buy yet another pair of brown shoes she will never wear and all the beeping in all the stores... I was on the verge of panic attacks the entire time.

BTW, if anyone knows a great place we can pick up a good water-resistant winter jacket for Reg for under $150, please let me know! We looked everywhere...

Reg makes a natural Jedi, doesn't he?! He kept his cool while I got all freaked out, covered my ears from all the noise (making my tinnitus unbearable) and got me out of there as soon as he could. He takes such good care of me. Thank goodness for online shopping at Christmas. I hate crowds. Ever since I was caught in a riot and almost got crushed at Canada's Wonderland where a few people were stabbed, it is really hard for me to be surrounded by crowds.

Still, we managed to have some fun this weekend but I am so exhausted. The nicer-than-usual weather (which rocks, don't get me wrong) has meant we have been out and about more than I thought we would be. I yearn for life to slow down. One more doctor's appointment this year and then I am going to start playing in my crafts room and baking treats in my kitchen.

I Survived Hal-Con

2011-11-25T14:47:00.000-04:00

I took this photo near the end of our first day at Hal-Con. Thank goodness they had a resting area! It was truly one of the more difficult things I have ever physically done but I loved it. You can read my last post here.

I did this silly little video at the very end of the convention while recovering in our car in the parking lot. I was so sad it was over but could not believe how much pain I was in. Reg, as usual, is quite hysterical in the video even though you can't see him.

And just so you know, the quote I recite is one by Kenzi from Lost Girl. I will miss being her but I have a feeling a part of her will stay with me for a long time.

Turning into Lost Girl's Kenzi at Hal-Con 2011

2011-11-24T12:04:00.000-04:00

I love Lost Girl's character Kenzi so much I dressed up as her for Hal-Con and you can read all about it here. Reg may have been instantly recognized and beloved as Bender but I think I did a good job honouring one of my favourite characters on TV.

I am still in recovery mode from Hal-Con and the GIANT mega snowstorm we got hit with yesterday. Man, from nothing to a white and cold tsunami. Insane! Might do a bit of yoga today but a week of resting continues...

How my husband turned into a robot

2011-11-23T14:49:00.000-04:00

Check out my post on how Reg turned into Bender from Futurama. He worked so hard on that awesome costume, I just had to share.

It is snowing like crazy here. Time to hide away from all that white stuff and rest.

Finding my style

2011-11-23T10:39:00.000-04:00

I discovered the coolest clothing application. At Polyvore you can design your own "clothing dreamboards" very easily. As you know, I am taking it easy this week to recover from chaos and medical appointments. It is snowing outside right now so this is the perfect escape.

Above you see the me I know the best. When I get dressed up, I like solid colours but with a little bling and flare. Tailored outfits are the best on me and I have always wanted tall lace-up-books. I have a satchel for all my writing material and even a hidden camera. A little bit classic, a little bit contemporary but still lots of strength.

This is the me I am a little intimidated to be. I wanted to sort of go-for-it and experiment and wow, so weird to see pink in there but it fits! This is the Tank Girl side of me I am just started to explore. Emphasis is on strength but some humour and femininity thrown in there with a dash of artsy.

Surprisingly, foodie me was very challenging to come up with. Luckily I have most "things" that I want and need in my kitchen which makes me very lucky. What I don't have? Overseas eating experience and culinary training. I would really love to do that one day and collect all sorts of ideas in a notebook that gets all dog-eared and stained from all the cafes I have been through in France. Decaf coffee of course.

Isn't it amazing that after all this time, I am still discovering who I am? And there are more clothing dreamboards to make! So many other sides to who I am. We are not just one person. Discovering our hidden selves and dreams is very exciting. Give it a shot! I warn you though, this is a major time-sucking web site, LOL.

A moment to breathe...

2011-11-22T10:15:00.000-04:00

This is the first time in 14 weeks (yes, I counted them) that I have no appointments, no company, no medical tests... I can hardly believe it. I want to get in my kitchen and cook up a storm to help stave off the winter cold penetrating the house but I am so tired...

Last week was my last medical test and in a week or so I will go get the results. I am hoping it is my last doctor's appointment of the season.

On top of all the medical stuff I have been busy and as fun as it has been, I am exhausted. I just can't keep up with the flow of normal people. I have to remember, if I try to I will get hurt and get flattened like a pancake.

It has been fun but I am OK with slowing down. I'm done running in the psycho race everyone runs these days. Time for hot chocolate and rest. Lots and lots of rest.

Showcasing Etsy Artist: Terri's Treasures

2011-11-21T13:19:00.000-04:00

I window shop on Etsy all the time. I am constantly searching for just the "right thing" and I finally found it at Terri's Treasures. The skull eating the cupcake? Now that has Suzie the Foodie Queen of Halloween written all over it. Not only did Terri remember to discount my purchase because the shop was having a big sale, I also got this adorable "Yum!" candy pendant as a gift!

Finding out what is my "style" has been a huge challenge my entire life. I am part tomboy, part Victorian-lace lover with a dash of goth wannabee. Today? Add foodie to the mix. Thanks to Pinterest I am learning more and more about what it is I like and what to add to my life and especially, my wardrobe. Exploring my "style" has been quite shocking,I had no idea I liked black so much! And leather, LOL.

Wearing items like this Halloween Skull Cupcake Pendant will give an edge and a bit of humour to whatever I am wearing, as well as colour. Terri loves working with vintage items to create handmade jewellery and I am thrilled to have TWO one-of-a-kind items by Terri Sharp in my jewellery collection. They make me feel more like... the real me. Can't wait to play with them and make a one-of-a-kind necklace just for me.

Oh and if you are also on Pinterest , come find me! Would love to learn all about your style too!

Where has Suzie Ridler been?

2011-11-17T10:54:00.000-04:00

Click to enlarge

My life has been completely enveloped by Hal-Con. I went represented the podcast I record with my sister Shannon called Hexed which is about supernatural TV. I went as Kenzie from Lost Girl, one of my favourite characters of all time.

I love doing the con but it is clear to me, this is not something I could do very often. It pushed me to the edge of what I can physically handle. Still, I am so glad I did it. I am still writing posts about it, so much happened and it was so much fun despite the pain and foodie withdrawal. We saw so much, things closed so early, we went hungry a lot of the time. Hence the above photograph. I did end up loving wearing a wig, which is shocking! It was fun to be another person for a day.

Just had to share Nicholas/Xander's Snoopy Dance Video! You can find the article with lots of other videos and photographs here. Getting to see Xander dance on stage?! OMG, he is such a goofball! He was next to impossible to photograph because he is constantly moving. Such an unbelievable cool moment.

I have lots of posts for those into this sort of thing and here are some of the highlights if you're interested: Robert Maillet Q&A, Joss Whedon Discussion Group, Zombie Workshop, Steampunk Workshop and Erin Gray from Buck Rogers. More posts to come!

Reg was a total robot rock star at the con! His costume has quite the story which I will be blogging about very soon, it will be called "Becoming Bender". Turns out making a shiny metal ass is much tougher than it sounds like. He was definitely a crowd favourite though!

In case you did not see it on my foodie blog, here is Reg's performance at the costume contest. He totally rocked it out of the park! I am so proud of him.

So back to the mundane life... My body is very grateful but honestly, this was one of the funnest and greatest things I have done in my entire life. The only thing better was marrying Reg.

More Hal-Con blogging to do and hopefully a long nap will fit into my schedule today, as well as baking Bobby Flay's chicken pot pie for dinner. Yup, life is getting back to normal which these days, is kind of a relief.

Happy Birthday Reg!

2011-11-08T09:53:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to take a moment and let everyone know it's my husband Reg's birthday today!!! He hates birthdays so feel free to leave happy birthday wishes here to help cheer him up. I love him like crazy and we are celebrating his birthday all week long.

Happy Birthday Babe!

Time for a rest...

2011-11-04T05:53:00.000-03:00

Although I just can't sleep, not one second tonight, I am filled with an odd calm. Does that mean a storm is coming? Change is finally around the corner? Or I have made peace with what is?

I have no idea.

I just know that most of the leaves have fallen. I am finding my voice again. I have been loving the autumn sunshine.

My feet are already always cold. I am starting to live in layers. I am leaving the house less. I know a long winter is ahead.

Halloween was amazing but it has taken everything out of me. I lived on crab dip for two days. I have had no energy to make real food. I am going to get back into the kitchen once I can get enough sleep to safely wield a knife.

Pain in my right chopping wrist worries me. Maybe some time on the couch has been good for me?

Reg has been worried about me. I left my Halloween chaos crafts room alone until he can help me clean up. That is not like me at all. He knows I pushed myself too far and he is right.

I had fun though. It was great being the Foodie Queen of Halloween again this year. Time to rest and recover so I can do it next year, fingers crossed.

Foodie by Day, Ghost Hunter by Night...

2011-11-03T10:24:00.000-03:00

Photo courtesy Jamie Ridler

Jamie took this photograph of me on the night we hung out downtown during her visit. I had run into the cemetery to take photographs and then continued to do so as we walked along the gate. When it comes to the paranormal, I have come to realize that I am completely fearless. I have no problems walking into spooky situations, in fact, I can hardly wait. I run towards them!

It is funny. Most of the time people see me as domestic, a feminine foodie, but I am also a kick-ass paranormal enthusiast who would have no problems walking through a condemned building at night with an EMF detector in one hand and a night vision camera in the other. I wish people saw this side of me more. I am tough, fearless and when it comes to all things spooky. In this odd way, I am strong.

So, I like to bake cookies too! I guess that just makes me complicated. But it is nice to have a photograph like this one to remind me of another side of myself that I adore just as much as the woman who bakes meringue bones for Halloween.

Happy Halloween 2011!

2011-11-01T12:03:00.000-03:00

I spent all day yesterday cooking in the kitchen, as well as decorating our front lawn. Here is a new gravestone we got at the Superstore and a fabulous cobra we got at Ripsters.

I put a bloody arm in the mailbox and topped it with a giant fuzzy spider:

We have all these fabulous little witchy signs that I love and I put them all up:

I still love this gravestone so much, Reg made it himself! We really have expanded our graveyard, totally gotta get more bones next year.

Our first trick or treaters showed up before we were ready! Reg had to go to work yesterday and got home as quick as he could. I did my best to set stuff up but it was madness!

Reg hid Oscar in the bushes who thoroughly enjoyed inspecting all the costumes this year.

Anything that glows in the dark was put up. Seriously, anything!

Reg made Drop Dead Fred into a pirate this year and I think he looked fantastic! Everyone who came to our front door was thoroughly impressed. Reg also carved such an adorable jack-o-lantern. It's amazing how much he did in so little time.

It was a bloody cold night out there. When we broke things down (after playing with the fog machine) everything was slick and frozen with frost. Probably explains why we got around a dozen kids this year, so freakin' cold! No snow though, thank goodness.

Reg dumped a headless Fred at the top of the stairs and all I saw was this body that looked so real. made me laugh my ass off. We stored everything in my crafts room and Reg was going to leave the body whole but I insisted on turning him back into rags. He just looked too real!

Oh my god.... It is going to take forever to put everything away! Yes, we are kind of crazy to set up and break everything down on the same day but we always want kids to wonder if ours really was the house with the giant cemetery and the skeleton pirate they saw last night.

How was your Halloween?! I would love to hear about it! I seriously feel like I have a hangover and can barely move. Totally worth it. Now I am off to have some candy for lunch!

Happy Halloween!!!!

2011-10-31T11:18:00.000-03:00

Halloween is here!!! Oh wow, I can't believe the day is here. We got the wildest storm yesterday but things have cleared up but it's chilly and there may be fog rolling in tonight. Spooky!

There are not a lot of homes decorated in our area but our house isn't decorated either. Right now my crafts room has been taking over by all our Halloween decorations and we have so much to do!

I love this! A personal has covered their tree with spider's webbing and hung leaves in it so when there is a breeze it sounds like a spooky wind chime.

Whatever you end up doing tonight to celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful Halloween and Samhain celebration! Ours will be quite humble this year but I am sure, loads of fun, as usual.

Happy Halloween!

Getting ready for Halloween

2011-10-30T09:55:00.000-03:00

We have been so busy lately we had no time until yesterday to go out and get supplies for Halloween night! I was thrilled that there were still so many pumpkins left just days before Halloween.

And I was in my element, surrounded by pumpkins that I adore. Not to mention the stunning sunshine and the warm-ish temperature. Love it!

I picked a pumpkin with a tilted face so he won't have to be propped up on Monday night. It was the closest thing to real food that we bought that day. Superstore had some great deals on their Halloween props and we finally also got candy. I could finally relax, knowing we had the basic supplies for Halloween.

Could Reg look cuter holder our wee little pumpkin? I don't think so!

Here it is making itself at home on our deck. Although we would not dare leave him outside considering all the frost we have been getting. We will be carving it today since a big storm is going outside all day today. I will also be decorating Halloween cookies and planning our meal for tomorrow.

Halloween is so close and so far, no snow! :) That makes me very happy.

Insomnia & Sleeping Pills

2011-10-29T05:54:00.000-03:00

I have been awake since 3 am. It is approaching 6 am. Perhaps I will try to go back to sleep. I have given up on dreaming.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom and I couldn't remember what I did on Wednesday. I tried and tried to remember and couldn't. Turns out I went to the doctor's on Wednesday but was convinced I did so on Tuesday. I forgot the day I forgot.

I am on medication that prevents me from sleeping. I am so exhausted (going on two months now of non-stop insomnia) that I keep forgetting to pick up the new sleeping pills to help me sleep thanks to the other new medication I am on. Thus proving that one pill only leads to many, many others. Especially when you have fibro.

I wish I didn't need any. I am such a just-say-no kind of woman but I won't make it through my fifth winter here without chemical help. I hate writing that. It makes me feel so weak.

All my life I have slept like crap but this is ridiculous. I can not start the winter off so fragile. More pills to come...

Saying hello to Halloween and good-bye to freedom

2011-10-28T08:47:00.000-03:00

It took until mid-October for the leaves to really change here in Nova Scotia. Then we had a few crazy-strong storms that battered the leaves off the trees.

I did my best to get out to Halloween stores and get into the spirit. I made many Halloween treats and had lots of fun doing so.

Visited with family, got out and saw so much and am looking forward to hibernating for a while although returning to "normal" is not something I am very good at.

I had peaceful moments like this one at Peggy's where I felt OK. Then, it got cold. We got wet snow this morning. Winter is so close but please, no real snow before Halloween Nova Scotia. Just give me to Halloween before you lock me inside.

Jamie & Justin's Visit: Downtown, Hair Dying & Bon Voyage

2011-10-27T08:59:00.000-03:00

I absolutely love this photograph of us! I took it at the airport right before Jamie and Justin left on their plane. The night before Jamie added all these wild highlights to my hair. Real sister bonding time. It was awesome.

Walking home from the Plum to our car on the Saturday night, I had to point out the Waverley Inn. It is supposed to be really haunted! I would love to do an investigation there.

I also ran into a really old graveyard that I think is usually closed to the public at night. I tried to capture orbs and unusual images but nope, I got nothing. Still, it was so cool to be in there.

It is always so hard to say good-bye. Thankfully we really had the best visit you can possibly imagine. I continually lost my voice and had to suck on Ricola because I was laughing so hard and not used to speaking so much. It was the perfect visit.

I feel very autumn-y with these colours in my hair now. A reminder of Jamie & Justin's visit. I wanted to embrace the spirit of the season and commune with the golden colours around me right now.

Still, it is getting very cold and feeling way more like winter than fall. I am glad the colours around me, at least, disagree that winter is here.

Jamie & Justin's Visit: From Peggy's Cove to Lunenburg & Mahone Bay

2011-10-26T08:29:00.000-03:00

What a perfect photo of Jamie & Justin at Peggy's! Look at the weather we got there. I still can't believe how beautiful it was when they were here.

Of course it was windy which made me all windblown and stringy. Ah thin fine hair... my nemesis!

From Peggy's Reg drove us to Lunenburg where we did some shopping and checked out the town. I had a feeling Justin would like it here and who wouldn't? It's Lunenburg! BTW, I totally think this looks like an album cover. Jamie said that if they put the band together, she is going to be the bass player!

Of course there were fantastic artistic touches all over the place but for me, I now see Lunenburg with fresh spooky TV eyes.

Instead of walking along the streets of Lunenburg, I am now hanging out in Haven! One of my favourite paranormal TV shows that is shot here.

How exciting was it for me to stand in front of the Haven police station?

If you watch the show, you will recognize this building where Audrey and Nathan work.

And of course there is the gazebo outside where Jamie is hanging out. Our sister Shannon successfully influenced Jamie & Justin into watching Haven a while ago, so they could appreciate this geeky TV experience with me & Reg!

I of course was all over it! I have always wanted to go into that gazebo in front of the station.

The sun was going down and we still wanted to go for dinner in Mahone Bay so off we went!

Reg drove us to the Mug & Anchor which has a lot of parking on the water where you can see those famous three churches perfectly.

I thought Reg was communing with this rhinoceros but he was actually looking at the knot work on the wall. I thought it was funny.

Man, was the place ever hopping! There was a wedding that was having a party there with live music. We were lucky to get a seat. Still the best fish and chips around, not to mention the hugest piece of fish in the world! What a day out we had and special thanks goes to Reg for doing all the driving. Poor guy was exhausted when we got home!

Jamie & Justin's Visit: Peggy's Cove

2011-10-25T10:48:00.000-03:00

Our first day on the road while Jamie and Justin were visiting started with a drive along the South Shore by St. Margaret's Bay. This time you can see me weak in the knees as the Wild Woods Wizard towered over me.

Seriously, what amazing spooky artistry this is. We had to go back and take photographs of it. One of the highlights for me!

At the end of the road we stopped to take some photographs.

Reg grew up here and knew that the tiny island off in the distance was Wedge Island.

I was able to zoom in. A grey moody day is an awesome one for photography.

We were already having so much fun!

Then we got to Peggy's and the sky cleared! The giant storm that hit the day before ensured fabulous waves everywhere.

I call this guy Mr. Bonehead. See how the rocks around him are covered in water? You never go anywhere close to those rocks. Sure enough, a giant wave came...

... Luckily he ran away in time but Peggy's claims the lives of boneheads like this guy on a regular basis. We were far away from the rocks and a rogue wave came that we did not see coming and we got covered in the spray. That was way too close! You really have to be careful when you go there which is hard. You just want to get so close but seriously... don't. If you go in the water, you are dead.

We explored Peggy's more than I ever have before. The weather was so comfortable, sunny, cool but not cold, I felt all giddy. I really feel happy here. So does everyone else. It is a natural magnet to Nova Scotia which is why it is the biggest tourist hot spot on the east coast. I am not immune to its power.

Because we had gone farther than I had ever hiked before, we discovered this long lineup of stone figures I had never seen before.

There is always something to discover at Peggy's, no matter how many times you visit this magical spot.

Waves at Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia

2011-10-24T08:25:00.000-03:00

We had a wild stormy day the day before we drove out to Peggy's Cove to introduce Justin to this side of the Atlantic Ocean. As a result, we had amazing waves and lots and lots of wind.

Jamie and Justin are heading back today so I am going to keep this post short. More images of our visit to come after I recover from saying good-bye once again. It is so hard when family leaves. It has been the perfect visit.

A Day in Downtown Halifax, Nova Scotia

2011-10-23T07:54:00.000-03:00

Yesterday Reg, Justin, Jamie and I went to downtown Halifax and started off walking by Pier 21. I wrote about it when our mom came to visit a couple of years ago. This is where Mom went through after leaving Latvia during WWII on her way to Ontario with our aunt and grandmother. It still amazes me that we actually have roots in Halifax in some way. It makes me feel a little more connected.

On the roof of the Halifax Seaport Farmers Market we watched this Holland America cruise ship depart. Reg and I actually won a cruise years ago on this fabulous cruise line. I am going to see where those photos are, what an amazing adventure we had.

Took this photo on the roof as a Sea King helicopter flew by. They were all over the harbour yesterday.

I love that someone etched in this not-so-happy face along the boardwalk, it made us all laugh.

I had to take a break and rest my back and feet after walking a fair piece along the water and love that they have these new beach chairs for people like me.

How cool was it to see Occupy Halifax in Grand Parade square and see that the turnout was better than I had thought!

The artistic spirit was everywhere and they were putting their skills supporting their cause.

I whole heartedly believe in the right to protest and it was so amazing to see that it was such a peaceful and positive one.

OK, public smudging? These are my kind of people!

The message was quite clear and it warmed my heart to see people passionate about their beliefs and standing up for them.

The top right hand pane of glass in this window shows the outline of a head in the church in the square. The story goes that the Halifax Explosion resulted in the head of a statue flying through the window, leaving an imprint.

What is even more freaky is this odd red face I caught in the window a few years ago during a ghost tour! I often wonder if what is really here is a tulpa, a supernatural manifestation caused by the belief in said manifestation.

The artistic spirit and paranormal imprint is all over downtown Halifax. This band was playing on Theodore Tugboat. It is moments like these I do wish I lived downtown.

What a perfect day we had downtown together! Today we're just chilling at home before they leave tomorrow. It has all gone by way too fast! What a wonderful holiday we have all had together.

Having an amazing time!

2011-10-22T09:43:00.000-03:00

The dark weather has lifted and yesterday we spent the day travelling along the South Shore to all the best spots! The weather could not have been more beautiful. We began, of course, at Peggy's. Then we went to Lunenburg and stopped for dinner at Mahone Bay.

More photos to come later but I had to share this awesome photo of Reg being attacked for a forest wizard. Thankfully he got away and was a prince to do all that driving after such an unexpected attack.

I took hundreds of photos yesterday but I think everyone is awake now. Time to make brekkie!

Bit of a Foodie Disaster & Tons of Laughter

2011-10-21T07:28:00.000-03:00

We had a crazy dark, stormy, rainy day yesterday so we hung out around the dining room table, talking and laughing so hard I couldn't hear the timer go off for this loaf of bread! I swear, it could have been in there for over 45 minutes longer than it should be because, with Jamie and Justin visiting, time is just flying by.

At first it appeared to have just darkened a bit but when I tapped it, OMG, so hard and the crust did not give way at all! Surprisingly when I finally could saw through it with a bread knife (which was pretty tough going), the inside was still surprisingly moist so we are going to try and have it as toast for breakfast today (without the crust from hell).

Needless to say, despite the crappy weather, we are talking up a storm, catching up and having the BEST time ever! :)

They're here!!!!

2011-10-20T08:13:00.000-03:00

Here are Jamie and Justin after getting off the plane at the airport! We were up until the wee hours last night chatting away. They seemed to have pushed aside this giant storm that we were supposed to get overnight. Jamie continues to bring her good weather mojo and the rest of the week (until the day they leave) is supposed to be clear and beautiful. I think they should move here!!!

Jamie & Justin are coming to visit!

2011-10-19T09:02:00.000-03:00

My sister Jamie and her husband Justin are coming to visit today! I really can't believe it, I am so super excited. And have to clean my house before they get here! I've been so busy with preparing the food and also making spooky Halloween treats that housework has fallen to the wayside and Halloween madness and mayhem reigns all over my home.

The nice thing is I know in the end, that stuff doesn't really matter. Spending time together hanging out is what we can't wait for. What's is also awesome is that my family loves Halloween as much as I do. In fact I took this photograph of Jamie and Justin two years ago at a tapas bar in Toronto totally covered in spooky decorations. We felt right at home.

I will have lots of silly photos to share! My insomnia continues so I will probably be up at 4 am uploading photos for you to see but wouldn't it be nice if I slept a little while they were here and we could just lazily hang out together?

Yes, that would be nice. But I will share photos no matter what!

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau & Golden Ears Park, British Columbia, Spring 2004

2011-10-18T09:05:00.000-03:00

Ridge Park continued to be my refuge. I started to begin my daily walks asking for the park's protection. It wasn't easy being a woman hiker all alone in these darks woods but I still went, my heart open and faith unwavering that I would be OK.

The wet season continued for a while. I love how this fungus looks like a saturated heart. Life was everywhere here.

The squirrels started to be more curious about me than angry, which was a nice change.

I was working really hard at becoming a better photographer but was frustrated that I could not control the focus with my digital camera. So many tries to get the right shot with my fingers crossed.

When I saw this robin, I knew spring was officially here. The trees were in bud and the birds' unusual call could be heard throughout the neighbourhood.

I continued to struggle with art, figuring out what I liked doing, what worked for me. I couldn't seem to make those backgrounds I loved so much. All the strokes too well defined. I wanted more smears. I was starting to get back to text too but did not know how to work it in.

One weekend we just had to get out and drove out to Golden Ears Park for the first time.

It was so nice to be hiking in woods we did not know.

The only problem was I had gotten a haircut right before we got there and there was so much product in my hair I was attacked by mosquitos which I did not know existed in BC! This had never happened to me before.

Still, it was gorgeous, but I was having a hard timing enjoying it with the ringing of the bugs in my ears.

Reg let me wear his hat which helped a bit but in the end, it was a shorter hike than I would have wanted.

I absolutely love that someone put stones in this tree trunk to emphasize its face. This was the first time I had seen this done but I learned later that it was a common practice in BC. So spooky!

At this point we were still doing OK getting by. I kept hoping things would speed up but they didn't. We made the most of each day out west but it was getting harder each second to stay in one place for me, not knowing what was going to happen or how we would pay our rent.

We had been poor before but being poor up on a mountain all alone surrounded by a burb of strangers was very different than when we were in Ottawa with friends and family close by. Still, life finds a way, even in just the smallest crack, we can bloom.

Nocturne Halifax 2011

2011-10-16T07:28:00.000-03:00

Two years ago I was in Toronto on a meandering bus at night that went all over downtown during the night art festival. You could see events on the street everywhere! It was so exciting that when I heard there was a Nocturne art festival in Halifax I had to go and this year the weather was perfect.

What wasn't perfect was their web site crashing right before we were going to leave. Thankfully they had some maps on their Facebook page that we could print out. We focused on Zone 1, downtown around Barrington Street.

We saw rotating mushrooms in an ATM area.

There was a very short little walking demonstration by what appeared to be Pagan furries.

The Happy Wash event was so popular, we would have spent the entire night in line waiting to get in. In fact, most of the events were inside like this (which I was not expecting) and had long lineups. Because of my feet and back, I can't stand in long lineups so we kept walking.

There were many silent random images being projected onto buildings. I wish I could say they were interesting but...

We wanted to actually go see something so we decided to walk up to Citadel Hill which is not easy!

I will spare you the swearing Reg spewed when he saw yet another event indoors with a long lineup.

We had heard there was an event at the very top of the hill at the fort that sounded very interesting so we kept climbing. At least we got a workout in last night!

For me, the coolest part was walking through this entryway. I have never been to the fort and right away when I was under this stone, I felt different. When I got to the top, the energy there is so thick and old and... amazing. It was a different world up there and my head felt weird. I loved it.

So this is the art piece from a distance. It doesn't look like much but when you get under it...

Amazing! The Bear constellation in the air and his tail comes down so you absolutely get a 3D effect.

Now this piece of art was visually stunning, brilliant and absolutely innovative!

I took photographs from the ground which was very cool. The energy there was so amazing, I loved it and the art piece was fantastic.

I wasn't the only one who was finally impressed. I love this shot of Reg!

There was a weird waning orange moon over the harbour that looked phenomenal and eerie from the top of the hill.

It was wonderful to see so many people out and about. I have been downtown during beautiful weather and the place is usually a ghost town. People are obviously wanting a reason to come downtown and for the first time since I moved here, it was awesome to see families out at night. Still, those long lineups were just prohibitive for me.

On the way to the car, I started to get the sense that "weird" was being mistaken for "artistic" a lot of the time. Surrealism alone is not art.

Overall, I can not say I was impressed with Nocturne Halifax. So many events being inside with bottleneck lineups was not what the festival was about, at least for me. I wanted to see more on the streets, living and animated not odd human mannequins in windows or silent movies on abandoned buildings. It felt so distanced, arms-length. The walls were physical and symbolic, we did not emotionally, intellectually or physically connect with 99% of the art.

Reg was so disappointed, he didn't even want me to write about it. You know me though, I have to! This is where I share my experiences and opinions. I wanted so much more. Where were the street vendors? Food vendors? Where could I get a program so I could actually have a map with the events listed on it? We would have downloaded the ap but their web site crashed. The events were not clearly marked from outside. We just wandered with the masses, hoping to figure out what was part of the festival.

Still, I loved being under the bright lights of the Bear on Citadel Hill, with my spirit stirring to the ancient and powerful energy up there. That was definitely the highlight of the night and it was the most challenging event to get to.

Much more interesting than men wearing bird masks.

Nova Scotia's Colours Are Turning

2011-10-15T07:31:00.000-03:00

Just over a week ago I took this same photograph and there were only a few leaves on the ground. With all the storms we have been getting, the leaves are definitely falling now.

Just last weekend I said to Reg that we were getting such a dull autumn. He said that the change in season was late all across the world. We had a summery weekend and then the temperature fell and the world changed.

Click to enlarge

I have no idea what these guys were doing in our river with shovels but I am an incurable snoop so I took a photograph just in case. I love the look on this guy's face, he seems so happy. Note the wild apples growing along the left-hand side of the photo.

Pretty soon this is going to be my only view for the next six months. There used to be more trees across the street but recently tree killers came and claimed at least four of them. I am grateful for the trees that still remain. I picked this house because of those trees.

Soon the leaves will all be on pavement and end up in compost bins. When they are naked for the winter, I will be shivering along right with them. I hope to draw strength from them. It will be my fifth winter here. I can not wrap my brain around that fact and will focus on the last of the colours instead.

Our Mecca: Mountain Equipment Co-Op

2011-10-14T07:27:00.000-03:00

There are few places I feel at home these days, other than my house, but Mountain Equipment Co-Op is one of them. I remember going into the one in Toronto and finally feeling like me. Growing up in an artsy (and sometimes pretentious) city as a nature-lover was not easy for me.

I walked into this giant store on Front Street and felt at peace. I bought my purple knapsack which I used throughout my entire time at York University and it lasted for many years after that, as well as a Swiss Army knife. I used that knife all the time but at the books and magazine store I worked at, not camping, LOL.

It is our dream one day to have kayaks. I remember going from canoes to kayaks at Christian Bible camp (yes, I did go to that camp, what a surreal summer that was!) and it felt like I had gone from prison to freedom. Even with my fibro, I can kayak. The paddles are light and it is all about navigating gently over the water, not digging and cutting with a heavy piece of wood.

Reg bought yet another turtle light and I picked one up too that day. I have used that light in the woods but mostly to find keys in my purse since I left BC. Still, it's a touchstone for me that I take everywhere.

Reg and I normally buy clothing for each other for our anniversary but haven't since we moved here. This year he took me to MEC where I bought two thermal shirts, a repair kit for my Hut Booties and...

... The most adorable fleece socks! I love the peace pattern to them, that is so me. For light warming I wear them on their own. When it is slightly cooler I put socks on underneath. During the winter I will wear the two pairs of socks and my repaired Hut Booties. I was going to get a new pair since mine are thrashed and the bottoms are so slippery, causing me to fall down the stairs a lot. But I just couldn't. They are totally molded to my feet and we have been through so much together.

I have been to the MEC in Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver, Victoria and now Halifax. It is not cheap to buy their stuff but everything I have bought is always amazing quality and really, really lasts. Yes, I would love to have beautiful stylish clothes but right now, I need armour for the winter and if it is clothing I like that fits me well and keeps me warm, I am happy.

Yeah, I'm weird, so what?

2011-10-13T07:52:00.000-03:00

Yes, that spooky-looking-baby staring into your soul is me. The only baby photo I have of myself (thanks Jamie!). From birth, I have always been a serious soul. Self-conscious, socially anxious and always looking for ways to connect with the other side. My household nickname was "Spooky Suzie."

It took a lot of courage for me to dress up like an alien with a giant ray gun and go out on my deck wearing a blue snuggy and feather boa. My backyard is not exactly sheltered. I am really trying to break the serious habit and learn how to dress up and have fun. That is one of the reasons why I love Halloween so much. It brings out the lost kid in me, someone I do not know very well at all.

It also takes courage to really be who you truly are. To be honest about your situation and your struggles. To try and move past them. We are many people and yet I am still that odd little baby in a lot of ways, trying to figure things out and discover signs from the other side.

Yet spirituality and the paranormal continue to elude me. The veil may be getting thinner but I no longer dream. Hell, I hardly sleep these days. My tarot cards make no sense. I am spiritually un-comforted and that is fine. I have learned to be OK on my own.

I still love Halloween. It brings me such joy and cackling glee. Autumn has truly found us in Nova Scotia and I welcome her arrival. I am thinking of making an coffin made of ice today and finishing off some wild orange ice cream filled with "bloody teeth".

My life is weird.

I would not have it any other way.

A Day in My Life with Fibromyalgia

2011-10-12T08:22:00.000-03:00

I woke up three times during the night. I finally gave up after Reg left for work. That is becoming a bit of a ritual. If I am not asleep by then, it's just not going to happen.

I get up to write my post about the Thanksgiving dessert debacle. I have started to notice that as I blog, my legs start to hyperflex. They push down and down in front of me, on the verge of shaking. I have to keep breathing, consciously getting them to stop. My body is vibrating with tension already. I think it's around 6 am. I have to keep getting up, taking walking breaks as I write. It takes a while to create a post but being at the computer is murder.

As much fun as it is to share the story of me totally screwing up the mincemeat pie (I have to admit, it was funny) it always saddens me that I have gone from someone who devours words to someone who can barely get through a few sentences. When I read a recipe, it goes right through my brain. I can not retain the information. The story of what happened was so complex I had to write about it right away or the details would be gone forever.

Today is a little different and yet more like the last few weeks. I am going to be busy. This is hard for me. Winter is coming, I need to get stuff done before I am housebound for six months. One of those things is getting a haircut. I haven't gone to the hairdresser's in over six months to save money. I can't wait any longer.

I get ready to leave. I lock the door, start walking down the street. I get almost as far as a block and then I think to myself, wait, what time is it? I could have sworn the computer said it was 11:30. My appointment is at 1 pm. If I go now, I will be an hour early. What the hell am I doing?

I go back home. The stress and upset over screwing this up exhausts me. I fall onto the couch and lose consciousness. Months of not sleeping take over. I wake up suddenly and see that my appointment is in ten minutes. I fly out of the door.

I get there ten minutes late and apologize. I feel like a bonehead. I am never late! I'm one of those people who shows up at least 15 minutes early because the stress of being late kills me. My new hairdresser is not friendly and doesn't seem to give a crap at all. I listen to my instincts. I tell her I just want a trim.

I wanted to go to Ripsters again to take photographs but she curled my hair and I look so weird. I also have to get to the walk in clinic because of yet another new health issue (who is actually an old bothersome friend) has shown up on top of all my other ones. I go straight to the clinic.

By the time I get out of there it has been an hour and a half of listening to children screaming, a man coming in saying he thinks he might be having a heart attack and me sitting in a chair with my back yelling at me to go home.

Finally, I can. I collapse again. Reg comes home, I give him the update and he makes me feel better. Reg has this ability to calm me down. Just having him near me makes me want to wrap myself up in a blanket and disappear into yet another nap. Which I do.

I wake up around 7 pm, grateful for Thanksgiving leftovers. There is no way I am really cooking today. Everything hurts and I can barely think clearly. I know people must think I live my life in the kitchen whipping up all sorts of treats all the time but the truth is, I might make one new thing a day, if I am lucky. Most of my time is spent at appointments or working on my health. That is why I need time in my kitchen, to keep me sane and inspired. That is why I need to blog, to escape the reality of appointments, tests and the fact that I am so tired and in pain I don't know how I keep functioning.

But I do. And I will. I am not one to give up.

Still, that is the truth of my life with fibromyalgia. You can see why I don't drive, I can hardly think straight and my spatial awareness is crap. I have bruises on my hip and thighs I don't remember where they came from. Cuts all over my hands I don't remember getting. Reg tells me things and it all disappears. I am covered with knots I keep trying untangle.

I get through life one recipe at a time.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau & Tsawwassen, British Columbia, Spring 2004

2011-10-11T09:35:00.000-03:00

I started to go a little stir crazy on the mountain when spring came back in 2004. I just wanted to go and explore, take photographs of new places but we had paperwork to fill out, information to track down, a new life and job to create for Reg. It was taking lots of time and we had to wait for many different elements. The process was so slow.

As a result, I tried to see our neighbourhood with fresh eyes. This reminded me a little of a bird's nest and I loved how the leaves were composed by Nature. Mother Nature is the greatest of all artists.

This is how I knew spring was officially here, snowdrop flowers popped up out of the ground. Everything was so wet and spongy. The earth moved so much under my feet during my walks on the wood chip paths. Sometimes I thought I was going to fall through the earth.

The longer we were here without Reg working, the more I felt stuck to the mountain. What began first as an attempt to find freedom in nature started to feel like a trap that would take a long time to get out of.

Reg would continue to teach his kung fu classes and we would go for walks around Coquitlam and we discovered this red track that you can see in the game EA Sports Active which makes me homesick.

For the most part, I was stayed on the mountain. I had to find a distraction other than photography. I decided to learn how to make jewellery. Here is my first attempt at wire-wrapping. I started wondering if this was a way I could make us a little money if I ever got good at it?

Then one weekend we could not take it anymore. We went for a drive down the mountain on a cloudy day. Well, it was cloudy below us.

We drove out to a park area of Tsawwassen. Tsawwassen is one of the places you can drive to take the ferry to the islands.

It was quite lovely and I was happy to be in a new spot where I could take photographs of something I had not seen before.

With birthday money I signed up for a class to learn how to work with clay.

I really, really loved it but in my mind was so curious as to how I could use this new skill to make jewellery?

This was my favourite. I made a spiritual rattle in the first class and was hooked!

I had faith that we had made the right decision about the next step for Reg's career but had a bad feeling that this was going to be a long process. How would we make it until change came for us?

It was spring and yet these leaves had held on throughout winter. Soon to be replace with green shoots of new life. I envied them.

Full Moon & Thanksgiving

2011-10-10T06:30:00.000-03:00

Full moon on Vancouver Island, BC, 2007

We are one day away from the official full moon. How odd is it that it has been the warmest and sunniest Thanksgiving weekend I can remember? We are getting summer temperatures here and I have been loving the sunshine but there is an air of surrealism to it for me. Not sleeping during the waxing and full moon has added an additional layer of the unrealness.

How hot my kitchen is going to be today after doing all that baking and roasting!

But I am thankful. We had record-breaking low temperatures last week and some areas of Nova Scotia got snow. I walked in freezing rain and was not a happy camper. So to be out this weekend hunting for Halloween foodie dishes and tools wearing shorts and a t-shirt... I have been quite thrilled. In one week we have broken temperature records for both low and high.

It feels weird.

I am looking forward to spending the day at home, baking Reg mincemeat pies, roasting a huge turkey breast and hopefully dressing up as an alien. Yes, you read that right. I am behind on my spooky October avatars!

My life is so domestic but there must always be an element of weirdness or I am not happy.

If you are celebrating Thanksgiving today, I hope it is delicious and beautiful! And if you're like me, add a pinch of oddness to make it memorable. It is the full moon after all!

Dream House

2011-10-09T09:19:00.000-03:00

Reg and I went to see Dream House last night. Whatever you do, do not watch the trailer. It ruins so much of the movie. I don't care what survey is out there that says spoilers enhance a person's viewing experience, they are wrong.

That said, this is a very fascinating movie. I know it looks crazy-scary but in fact, it was much less scary than I was anticipating. We got through it just fine and were riveted to what was happening. I don't want to give anything away so I will just say that it touched my heart, made me jump a couple of times and had me guessing. Love it!

This is the time of year I want to see spooky movies the most. This is a smart movie and the characters are wonderful. I kind of grew to adore Daniel Craig the first time I saw him on Jon Stewart and see how nervous he was to be on Jon's show which made Jon laugh and said something like, "Hey, you know your James Bond, right?"

If you like spooky movies that make you think, go see Dream House. It isn't a perfect movie but it is perfect for this time of year.

Ripsters Halloween Shop, Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia

2011-10-07T09:48:00.000-03:00

The first time I went to Ripsters it was a week day morning. It was very quiet, I was one of the only customers in the store and discovered this adorable little crow:

I asked the person at the cash if they had another one because this little guy had a broken toe. There wasn't another one and I decided it did not matter to me that he was a little damaged, just like me. Happily I also found out I could bring him home and get 10% off!

The crow I found last year's name ended up being Percy, inspired by the poet Percey Shelley. This bird's told me his name is Purdy, because he is such a purdy bird and it felt right because it reminded me of the Canadian poet Al Purdy (and wink wink to the other person inspired by the name of this bird). I know there is a raven out there named Poe waiting to come home with me next year!

Ripsters is a very cool store. Reg and I went on a Saturday and the staff were all dressed up, complete with special eerie contacts. They have just about every costume you could want there, not to mention effects, statues... I would share images with you but there was a sign in the store stating absolutely no photography for any reason.

Getting Reg out of there without spending any money was tough! We will be back with our list and budget. I highly recommend checking out the store if you are in the area. Be warned though, it is loud in there! I had a headache by the time I left but it was totally worth it. Best of all, I felt like these people were my tribe. Love that!

Happy Halloween shopping everyone!

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau, British Columbia, Winter 2004

2011-10-06T11:45:00.000-03:00

I made one more hike into Ridge Park at the beginning of the year in 2004. Ridge Park was not covered in snow like our neighbourhood was temporarily but getting in there was tough. Still, there was such an eerie glow inside the park from the snow surrounding it. I am glad I made the effort.

When it snows in BC, I always worry about the animals. Even the squirrels who clearly did not like me. I brought in some wild seeds for the creatures of the forest and left it at the base of many of the biggest, oldest trees.

When I left, all the squirrels from all over the woods slowly, quietly started to chitter there thanks like a spooky chorus coming from the dark. It was profoundly moving and... freaky. One of my favourite memories.

I never got used to seeing mist and clouds below us. Sometimes it would be sunny where we lived near the golf course and below us would be foggy. It did not happen often and here on this cold dark day beneath us the air was quite icy.

The hardest part of this winter was feeling like everything was going to be OK. Reg was working his ass off trying to find a job. Some work trickled in but it was quite clear, we were not living in an area where his expertise was needed. We had to reconsider everything.

Snow Heart

Reg considered going back to an old career that would mean we would be apart. A lot. With my health issues, this filled me with so much fear. We had spent four years now together 24/7 and loved every second of it. The idea that we would be apart so much bothered me but I knew he was not happy doing the work he was doing.

He had sacrificed so much because of me and my health and not being able to work that over the winter months I relented and we started the process. Which took way longer than we ever imagined it would.

He still had to find work in the meantime and I had to find a way to stay sane.

The winter was very short, even on the mountain, but so very dark because of my fears oppressing my spirit.

I turned to mixed media art for a while to lose myself. I started getting obsessed with the idea of using natural materials in crafting.

Still, as much as I enjoyed the process, visual arts have never been my forte. I always felt like I could go so far and then get stuck. Like there was a barrier there I just could not get beyond.

When spring started to appear, I was so happy to be outside again with my camera. Hiking and photography were what I craved. Here I took a photo, I think it was of sunrise, of Coquitlam with Mount Baker in the horizon. I took it from the parking lot near the IGA halfway down the mountain from us, just to give you some perspective. One of my favourite photos!

Click photo to enlarge

This career change of Reg's would mean we would end up on Vancouver Island, at least for a while. You can see the islands running along the horizon in the distance in this photo and it had been calling me since we moved to Vancouver back in 2000. Perhaps this was why?

You can also see Burnaby on the left and downtown Vancouver on the right. We may be living on a mountain suburb but life was still very far away. For our future's sake, we had to take on a new path. I was more than ready. Too bad it took so bloody long!

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to do one day?

2011-10-05T10:41:00.000-03:00

Hatley Castle, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to do one day?

No, I am not going to wish for the obvious wish. I am detaching, remember? But I do want to remain open to another wish. One day I wish to live abroad for a while. Not forever but for a few years, preferably in England.

I want to see castles, encounter ancient buildings inhabited by ghosts, travel to the moors, see the Bronte house and connect with this half of my heritage.

Hatley Castle, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

It is becoming more and more clear to me that travel is draining to my health. All that effort to spend a week or so some place is too much. I prefer to move there, really take a leap and open myself up wide to something entirely new and then go for weekend adventures with Reg like we used to in BC but this time to France, Germany... I can do that and maybe while I am there, write a book about my adventures.

This is my wish which I let go of so it flies freely and maybe one day, whisks me away and turns into reality.

Hiking boots, wild apples and hope

2011-10-04T10:11:00.000-03:00

We have been getting a ton of rain on the east coast. More days of it to come. It is knocking the leaves off the trees so we are not getting that bright beautiful autumn glow.

I bought these hiking boots in BC years ago. They are totally worn out. I just can't bring myself to buy another pair. Our future is so uncertain.

On one of my walks I noticed these wild apples by the river. They are impossible for people to forage with a large and deep ditch filled with brambles between the street and these jewels. I hope the local racoons enjoy them!

My favourite day in my childhood was apple picking with my family on a farm in Ontario. I find these apples are growing here for the local animals quite comforting. Like nature is taking care of her creatures. I will try to believe that she will also take care of us.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Winter, Westwood Plateau, British Columbia & Christmas in Ontario, 2003

2011-10-03T08:59:00.000-03:00

After Halloween in 2003 the rain must have gotten really bad because I have no photos until the end of November. Above all else, I protect my camera. When I fall down the stairs or slip on a trail, I always yell, "My camera!" To hell with broken bones.

Snow always made the little details on the mountain stand out.

But my hikes into Ridge Park were hard enough without snow. I could make it in here and there but when it snowed, I mostly stuck to walking on the streets.

As a result, I turned to being more creative with my camera at home. I could not take it anymore! Here you see me discovering the sepia filter on my camera.

Christmas was coming up and this year Reg won the Coach of the Year Award at his kung fu school and totally deserved it.

He also successfully performed magic (me being his terrified and traumatized assistant) without getting MSG poisoning at the Christmas party. I think he just did not eat that night, LOL. For me, the longer we were on the mountain, the harder it was for me to handle being in groups and getting attention.

We did get to go to Ontario for Christmas thanks to my dad. We were thrilled to both get to go to Ontario and hang out with my awesome family for the holidays.

Christmas at Jamie and Justin's place is always special.

Jamie truly has a flare for the beautiful and the glamourous.

Not to mention making a holiday meal feel like magic.

So cool to also hang out with my sister Shannon who always makes me laugh! A LOT!

We all journeyed up to Gananoque to visit my dad, Julie and our brother Jason. I haven't asked permission from them to post their photos so I held back just in case. Here you can see us going for a family walk before the sun set on a trail near my dad's place.

Now you can see why I wanted to get married in Gananoque, so beautiful and special.

Here we were introduced to the game Talisman thanks to Justin who had an original version of the board game. We absolutely fell in love with it and laughed our asses off when we played. It drove Justin and Reg crazy how nice we were to each other and how we refused to fight each other. Yup, that is our family!

Reg totally fits in the goofy dynamic that is our family! Although we did discover we are the only people who can out-talk him, LOL.

Here are some other members of the family. The beautiful yet chronically grumpy Bascha.

The stunning oddball Jinx who Reg had a blast playing hockey with that year.

Then we went to Kitchener/Waterloo for New Year's Eve with Martin and Michelle.

Reg and I became a couple thanks to Michelle at New Year's Eve many years ago so this was a very meaningful celebration for us and it was amazing to hang out with our dear friends again.

Before we left home for BC Martin and Michelle took us around the area to show us the beauty of where they lived. Note that it looks cold but there is no snow.

Yup, there was more snow on our mountain than in Ontario when we came home in January! Not only that, our little car was snowed it and our pipes had frozen. I am sure Vancouver was nice and green. We had no idea just how much more snow we would get on the mountain than the Lower Mainland.

That was OK. We had a wonderful holiday with family and friends. It was a very important break from the stress of finding Reg a job and worrying about the future. It was a new year. Hopefully things were going to get better.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Chilliwack Corn Maze, British Columbia, October 2003

2011-09-30T08:32:00.000-03:00

It was October 2003 when the sun started to disappear on the mountain. Reg was out of work and I lost myself in the ever-darkening woods of Ridge Park.

We lived on the east side of the mountain so we did not get much of a sunset but what we could see sometimes looked so very odd.

But then there were still sunny days and despite our situation, we would go pick up Cathy, Liz and Mary and go on another adventure. This time it was to check out a corn maze in Chilliwack.

Now this was a real corn maze. Walls high above our heads which was pretty darn freaky. As much as I loved the movie Children of the Corn, I did not want to get lost forever in there but it was so much fun.

Well we all survived and enjoyed a hay ride!

Reg was kind enough to insist he take a photograph of me. Surrounded by mountains in BC with our friends, I was in my element.

The farm had a pumpkin patch and I am not quite sure if we ended up buying this particular pumpkin.

I do remember that this is the one Mary brought home that year.

They had a lovely petty zoo with the most stunning goats. I absolutely adore this photo of Liz during her pink hair days.

The goats absolutely adored Cathy, totally surrounded by love.

I managed to get most of us in this self/group portrait of our fun day together

Sadly, for some reason, I have no photographic record of our actual Halloween that year. With our situation the way it was with no income, perhaps we just stayed home and turned off the lights? Which makes me sad. But times were hard and they were going to get harder.

Still, I remember this golden day out in Chilliwack so clearly. It was one of the best days ever!

Goji Berries & Chinese Medicine... Improving the element of "water"

2011-09-29T10:35:00.000-03:00

My acupuncturist is currently in Hong Kong for a while. Before she left I asked her for some advice on how I can naturally improve adding water to my body since apparently I am all fire. She mentioned Goji Berries which are also known as Wolf Berries. They help support the kidneys and my doctor said that they are full of antioxidants. I like the sound of that!

My acupuncturist said that the freshest berries can be found at the Bulk Barn. Reg took me to the Bulk Barn (one of my favourite places on earth) and I filled up a bag with the berries. It ended up being over $20! Considering I only eat 12 a day, I guess that will last me quite a while. I did end up being noticeably shocked. The cashier was kind enough to give me a $3 off coupon which helped, what a sweetheart.

My acupuncturist also said that some people make a tea with them but she does not bother. She prefers to eat the entire berry instead. They are kind of sweet and earthy, a weird combination for me. Definitely tastes like "health food" so I eat them with trail mix and lots of water.

I have not noticed anything yet but I do know that with natural medicine, it takes time and patience. Which is fine with me. I keep walking down this health road, staying open to possibilities.

Let me know if you have any experience with these berries, I would love to hear about them! Also, if you have suggestions to help increase the element water, I would appreciate hearing your ideas!

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish for fall?

2011-09-28T09:49:00.000-03:00

Hatley Castle Trail, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

Jamie asks this for week Wishcasting, what do you with for fall? My regular readers know that I have been keeping an electronic scrapbook here on my blog of my former life in BC. I needed to examine the life I lived there to make sure it does not disappear. Since our last move photo CDs went missing, my memory isn't the best and my life there was very important to me. This posting ritual has helped calm me down, soothe my spirit.

I have been going to a lot of doctor's appointments for new and old ailments that have been plaguing me. Painful and ridiculously long rides on the pathetic local transit have given me lots of time to read Dancing with Life: Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering. Very apt for my situation.

This book is phenomenal. So many times I have read articles and books on Buddhism and they just seem to glamourize suffering and demonize the ego. Which does not resonate with someone who likes who she is but hates the physical and spiritual pain she has been going through. When it comes to ego, this book basically says it's fine to have an ego, just don't let it drive the spiritual bus. That works for me!

The fall is the ultimate time for transformation through mourning and letting go. I have learned that my deep attachment and desperate need to get back west has gone from my positive mantra to one that may be making my suffering worse. It is OK for me to still have this desire but it is clear that I may have no power to make it happen, which could suffocate me into chronic panic attacks and crush my spirit if it does not happen. The truth is I may end up some place more physically painful than here in the not-so-distant future.

I wish to mourn the loss of my magical life out west this fall. It does not mean I won't get back, just that I have to start saying good-bye. With each scrapbook post I will re-examine where I have been to make peace with where I am and where we will be going. Holding onto it like a life preserver is no longer helping me. With each photo I post, I will hug it and say thank you for the memories.

I also wish to mourn the life I thought that Reg and I would live on the east coast that did not happen. And it is now clear it will never happen. It hurts my heart, to have Reg's dream broken, but there is nothing we can do about it now.

I will always stay open to the possibility that I may go home but I let go of the expectation that I will. Perhaps something more exciting is coming for me? Or everything is going to stay the same. I will try and not let it matter and make peace with what is.

Halloween is coming

2011-09-27T08:48:00.000-03:00

We have been going out to stores looking at the new Halloween toys this year. It is weird because it has been so warm and humid, it has felt like the middle of summer. Today the cool-off is starting and I can't believe how much looking at skulls and witches cheers me up.

This spooky black owl in particular tickled my Halloween funnybone.

The veil is thinning and the time for transformation is approaching. I know change is coming for us but I don't know what is going to happen or what it means. It won't be fast. Knowing us it will probably happen in the heart of winter so for now, I will just enjoy the spooky time of year.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Fall, British Columbia 2003

2011-09-26T11:03:00.000-03:00

In 2003, over time I became less and less nervous about going into Ridge Park in BC alone. In fact, after a while, I just could not stay away. It was so beautiful and there were moments the lighting was downright divine.

There is one massive maple tree in a sea of tall coniferous giants that managed to survive. When its leaves fell, they were bigger than my head.

Reg was now on the job hunt and my nerves were fried. We spent zero money going anywhere. I stayed home and started to explore my creative side. I tried drawing and painting to fill up the anxious hours, days and months of worry kept in control with artistic exploration.

The squirrels continued to distrust me which didn't bother me. They seem to be more and more curious which I liked.

We had old family friends visit Vancouver which was so wonderful. We picked them up and drove them around Vancouver. Here are people were on the beach waiting for the sun to set.

We took them through areas where they could see all of downtown Vancouver, a community in the sky made of glass.

We drove until the sun started to set and our reservations at the Tea House Restaurant in Stanley Park were ready. We had such a beautiful meal in one of the most stunning spots to dine in Vancouver. Laughter, stories about adventure and travel filled the night. It was so nice to be with old friends again.

Reg and I continued to visit Buntzen Lake. This cliff face above Reg is in all sorts of TV shows and movies, we know it so well.

Hiking was such a big part of our lives and it was so nice that it was free.

Still, we had to re-examine our lives. As hard as Reg tried to find work in his field, there seemed to be nothing available. Very few opportunities and unemployment only lasts so long.

Reg and I ended up going food shopping very rarely but when we did, we would get all boxed items and pharmaceutical stuff from Superstore but then drive in to Kin's Farm Market. We would sacrifice everything we could except good food and Kin's was a Goddess-send. Absolutely the freshest most beautiful food for the least amount of money. We may be poor (again) now but we were determined to stay healthy and as strong as we could.

My fascination with food really began to grow at this point. I continued to move away from just seeing it as medicine to a thing of beauty. And of comfort. You can live without a lot of things but food is not one of them. My spirit really resonated with the colours, the shapes and the magical healing properties. It was the beginning of my transformation into a foodie.

Autumn is here

2011-09-23T10:03:00.000-03:00

I took this photograph in October 2006 while on one of my walk on the trails of Hatley Castle to illustrate my deep yearning to connect with nature. To mirror the hand of the burning maple leaf with my own.

It is so weird that just yesterday the sun was shining and I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt taking photographs of the giant flowers that blossomed this year and this morning, everything is dark, wet and damp. Vibrance has already been taken over by the encroaching darkness of fall.

I will try and embrace the joys of Mabon and celebrate this transition. I will attempt to once again connect with falling leaves.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Summer & Fall, British Columbia 2003

2011-09-22T11:24:00.000-03:00

One day I was sitting watching TV in our basement apartment in Westwood Plateau back in 2003 when the phone call came. There was no work left for Reg. No new contracts came in. His company was letting him go.

I think he saw it coming but I didn't. I fell down the rabbit hole of panic. What did this mean? What were we going to do? We were living on a mountain in the burbs of BC, pretty darn far away from the city. Holy crap.

Reg is not one to panic. He adapts. His favourite saying? Mutate and survive. He is unbelievable. A total Taoist, he kept me sane.

I called code red though. If we were going to go on adventures, they were going to be close by. Above you see Reg on a trail on Burke Mountain.

We spent almost all our time in our neighbourhood after the bad news. You can see the mystery neighbourhood artist was still at work.

I tried to find peace and grounding by connecting with all forms of nature. I know many people loathe slugs but I think they are quite beautiful. Everything was sacred to me. I was well into my vegetarian journey at this point too.

We went to visit this sort of marshy trail that went by a community garden in Port Coquitlam, very close to where we lived.

Reg helped me train to make it all the way around Ridge Park which was steep, treacherous and long. Right before they let him go, I cut off all my hair. I should have learned by now that every time I do, financial crisis comes right afterwards and I can't afford to have my hair cut again.

BTW, I haven't had my hair cut since the news about our new roof. I'm too scared to cut it now!

Ridge Park was where I was spending all my time now and here a snake crossed my path. It's amazing the absolutely instinctual fear response we have to them in real life but I worked through it. I got closer and took a photo. He seemed to be quite curious about me too.

I took endless photographs of the flowers in the neighbourhood. My desire to do photography got quite wild and with being stuck in the same place, I just kept taking more and more photos.

We cancelled everything but basic cable. To keep from going crazy at night we played board games. On Friday nights we would play and the local PBS channel would show old movies where we were introduced to the The Man Movies. I really missed going out to the movies though.

Fall came and we had a few weeks to get all our dental work before the plan stopped our coverage. We found out that BC does not put fluoride in the water the hard way. We had cavities for the first time in years! Ugh...

Luckily we found the best dentist we have ever had, Dr. Melody Sun. What a sweetie and such a good dentist! And I am TERRIFIED of dentist! I have always said that if one day I became rich, I would fly to Coquitlam to get my checkups done by her.

We had no real income anymore but we had skies like this at night.

Do you see that bright red light on the right? I took this photograph on a night of astronomical importance which now eludes me. It was probably Venus but I am not certain.

I do know that our life became much simpler and I was filled with lots of fear. What on earth were we going to do now?

The Way of Water

2011-09-21T10:54:00.000-03:00

Lately I have been in a state of shock. Everything is upside down. I thought this image of me walking up a huge hill to see the acupuncturist on Monday aptly captured my life right now. I just keep going.

Amazingly, after my treatment and on the way down the hill Reg managed to spontaneously find me and take me home which was such a huge relief. I literally did not know how I was going to make it home, so tired and empty. What a hero he is in my life.

We have spent seven years walking uphill for something that is not going to happen. I have been heartbroken about it and to be honest, quite dumbfounded. We have just been in a constant state of shock.

Reg said the other day he is going to be like water. He is going to follow the flow of energy since trying to make something happen that we wanted did not work. That dream is over and I have nothing left inside.

It is ironic that the acupuncturist said I am empty of water. I believe it. I was all passion and focus for so long. Now I give in. I let go.

My mom said she was relieved to hear that it has been seven years since we started this journey. She said that means the bad cycle is over, that seven years marks a new path. I hope she is right and that our new direction is a good one. I just don't want things to get worse. I'll deal with what is. I have to.

So I will also be like water. I give in. I put my hands up and go down the waterslide of life. I don't understand but then I am not the wisest human being in the world. I'll lose myself in Halloween treats and watch the leaves fall in front of my glassy eyes.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Spring & Summer, British Columbia 2003

2011-09-20T11:30:00.000-03:00

When spring really showed up in 2003, Reg and I wanted to return to some of our favourite spots that we missed over the dark and wet winter. First was Buntzen Lake, still probably the most beautiful place I have ever been. We were the only ones there as you can tell by the perfectly still water which was usually interrupted by all the dogs that love to swim in that lake.

We felt so free! The flowers were coming out and we could hit the road.

We drove out to Bridal Falls again which was just so breathtakingly beautiful! I mean seriously, isn't that gorgeous?

We did go some place new. We drove along Crowsnest Pass and stopped where Frank Slide occurred. Back in 1903 (100 years ago, how cool is that?) limestone fell off the mountain, partially burying the town Frank. OK, not so cool.

But then it was back to my walks in Ridge Park where the squirrels never seemed happy to see me, perhaps this little guy thought I wanted to steal his food.

My first glimpse of evidence that barred owls lived in the woods. I still have this feather on my altar today.

We started to visit places close by like Port Moody's Rocky Point Park and took one of the trails in the summer. We always seem to visit when the tide was out.

I began to get bored of my surroundings which I know, is hard to believe. I started to use different filters with my camera to try and see the area with fresh eyes.

It seems that it was in the summer of 2003 that I started to wake up to food photography. Food had become such an important part of my life. I was working hard to eat tons of fruits and veggies to keep my immunity up and try and help my health as much as possible.

But it was this moment when I started to really see the beauty of food. That it was more than just medicine. It resonated with not only my body... but my spirit via my camera.

The Tower Has Been Struck

2011-09-19T11:04:00.000-03:00

A while ago my cards warned me that lightning was going to come and throw us out of our tower. Were they ever right. I feel like this building getting torn down, blow-by-blow.

Nothing has been the way I thought it would be from the moment we got off that plane in mid-December three and a half years ago. I can't say anything makes sense. Everything still feels wrong and I am heartbroken.

Perhaps now life will turn around but I must admit, I have little hope left. I have no idea where we are headed and if even more bad luck looms before us. I just know I am tired of feeling beaten up.

Whatever Universe. You are in control. I obviously know nothing except that please, do not make anything worse than it already is.

Happy Anniversary Reg!

2011-09-16T07:54:00.000-03:00

Please note: All photographs are courtesy Michelle Kauntz of Captured Soul Photography

Eleven years ago Reg waited with his mom on the patio of the Victoria Rose Inn for me to come through those doors and marry him. Doing so was definitely the best decision of my life.

It was a small wedding with around 33 people and that included the photographer and her husband. We sat in that little alcove and had an edible flower salad for an appetizer, followed by a rosemary chicken dinner.

I wanted the decorations to be very pretty yet earthy and I think it worked perfectly.

Our cake was supposed to be in the shape of a heart but thankfully they got the icing colour right.

Reg, every day you make my serious spirit laugh like you did on our wedding day. We have been through such tough times together but we always end up smiling when we are together.

It was the happiest, most beautiful day of my life. Thank you for being the husband of my dreams. Together we will get through anything.

Happy Anniversary Babe!

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau & Harrison Hot Springs, British Columbia, Spring, 2003

2011-09-15T09:42:00.000-03:00

The winter on the mountain could get so dark and wet. Once Reg said that if we were living anywhere else, he would have started building an ark by now. Then, the rain stopped and we could leave our apartment and go for a walk. Then, miraculously, the sun came out.

So we hit the road! Once again we drove out to Harrison Hot Springs. We drove towards Mount Baker which always has a wintery peak.

I love this pyramid mountain, dusted with snow.

We made it into town and it was still so darn cold! The wind there is unbelievable.

We drove home after getting a hot drink to warm up to.

I was still discovering heart-shapes all around me.

I was also gathering courage and strength to do more hikes in Ridge Park.

I love that you can see the trees reflected in this heart-shaped puddle. Like they were peeking at me as I took the photo.

By the time March arrived spring was in full force except...

Because we were on the mountain we would get the occasional freak snowfall. This was one of my favourite spots in the park. I felt like the trees spoke here, like a council of some kind. I always stopped and communed with them.

Then the snow was gone for good and the birds came back. Spring was here.

Water, Fire, Needles & Fibro

2011-09-14T08:48:00.000-03:00

Yesterday I went to an acupuncturist for the first time since I left BC. It took me three hours to get there and back by bus. If I could drive, it would have been under an hour. You know I am desperate for healing when I decide to put myself through that kind of painful commute.

I think she was shocked by how much is wrong with me. She asked about when all of this started to happen. I told her, it has been my entire life. She looked at my tongue. She said, "You really don't sleep." I told her, I haven't slept in four days.

She concluded that my heart has been on fire so long, that I am out of water. My well has run dry trying to quench the bonfire of pain. This Aquarius has no reservoir left. She went to work on my immune system. I had at least a dozen needles in my belly and another dozen all over my body. It did not bother me at all. I listened to music, closed my eyes, tried to ignore the ringing in my ears and let myself fall. Whenever I really relax, that is what it feels like is happening. I am falling into myself.

Last night I was shocked at the bruise on my belly. That had never happened to me before. For some reason, it made me feel better. She told me to rest last night which I did. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of nausea but it was almost a relief. Like something was released. Like stagnant energy was finally moving.

I stopped seeing acupuncturists because they did not seem to help. Nothing brought pain relief but this time I want to go deeper, past the tissue pain, the sore spots. I know I am probably a lost cause in a way, that I will never be "normal" when it comes to my health but it can be better.

My tinnitus is a sign that my fibro and my immune system can not take much more. Maybe through this healing process I can cause a shift away from this state of red alert I am always in. I am ready to heal.

Full Moon in Pisces is Here

2011-09-12T08:45:00.000-03:00

This is a giant witch's ball I saw when I was at the Pirate Festival in Mahone Bay. It was so big it reminded me of a green moon.

Last night I was moving our sprinkler around, trying to moisten our almost-dead lawn. We fertilized it and there is no rain in the forecast for days. I am doing what I can to help it come back to life. For once I am literally the waterbearer.

While I was out there last night and the sunlight was almost gone and the sky was periwinkle, I could see the moon through the trees. We have had the clearest skies lately and the moon just seems to be brighter than usual. The temperature has gone down a little but it is still comfortable. Last night, I felt OK.

Sadly I did not sleep all night. No tossing and turning though. I just gave in to the fact that it was a full moon in Pisces and settled for rest instead of dreams.

I am feeling an internal shift. It is welcome. I am open to feeling better. I let go and am making peace. Thank you, Pisces Moon.

Ten years ago...

2011-09-11T08:42:00.000-03:00

Ten years ago we were living in Vancouver, BC. Reg woke me up, totally confused. He was listening to our little transistor radio. He was still wearing headphones. He said that something had happened. Something about the States being under attack, planes, buildings...

I ran out of bed and turned on the CBC. Mark Kelly was reporting. Then the second tower collapsed and there were no words. It was absolutely unbelievable. Was I still dreaming? This had to be a nightmare.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by this horrific day. It has been ten years and the world still struggles and our friends to the south still try and heal. A decade has gone by and I remember this day so vividly and I was a world away. I can not imagine how hard it must be for those directly affected.

Blessings to all those hurting today. May this wound heal for you as much as is possible.

Full Moon in Pisces on Monday

2011-09-10T10:04:00.000-03:00

I took this photograph from my back porch when I lived in Victoria. I had been sitting back there reading when I discovered the light was a motion-sensor light and because I had been so still, it had turned off. Then, I saw this moon. I managed to wait for the light to turn off again as I took this photograph of the full moon on Vancouver Island. The night was filled with the scent of wildflowers and I was so in love with life.

This Monday we will have a full moon in Pisces. I can already feel it. This is the hardest time of the month for me to sleep and I was up all night. Pisces will bring some people visions and creative inspiration but I find it tugs on my anxieties and fears. It touches the most sensitive parts of my already-stressed-psyche. The filling moon makes it harder and harder for me to sleep.

This is a good time for getting ready to make our dreamboard, even if it is just in our mind's eye. Use the power of Pisces to ask yourself, what is it I am dreaming of right now? What do I want and not just need? How can I start to make it a reality?

I hope you manage to sleep this weekend. That the moon gifts you with insight. I have a feeling, for me, it is going to be a bit of a struggle but at least Mercury is no longer retrograde! Time to get out of its shadow and have things go right for a change.

Finding Comfort in the Spooky Time of Year

2011-09-09T10:21:00.000-03:00

Tangled Garden, Grand Pre, Nova Scotia

This is the time of year we begin to feel the veil thinning. A path to the other side is a little clearer. During the summer we are full of the sun's energy for getting things done, going out and seeing people and really moving through life.

The dark season is approaching. I can't believe I wore jeans yesterday. Thankfully the sun has come back for a while but I can feel the shift. Can you?

This will be my fifth winter here. I can hardly comprehend that. I have no idea what is coming. I have wanted change so long but right now, I am not sure the change that is approaching will be positive.

Somehow I will find the strength to endure all that is happening and coming. As the veil thins, I get comfort knowing that my loved ones on the other side are just a little closer to me.

I know the spooky scares a lot of people but for me, it brings me comfort. After I had surgery I started to convulse when I got home. Then the show Supernatural came on and my body totally relaxed. It was the weirdest thing in the world. I learned that the spooky is my safety blanket. Whatever works.

Even though winter approaches, I will try and enjoy watching the leaves fall. Acorns are falling onto gravel in my neighbourhood. Soon I will no longer have to water my grass seed. I can bake bread, cook roasts, make scary Halloween treats and eat big bowls of soup.

I have no idea when our path is going to bend. If it will be good change or bad. Or if it just keeps going straight and off our road map like it has for the last three and half years. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Path Do You Wish to Follow?

2011-09-07T10:45:00.000-03:00

I took this photograph outside our library on Vancouver Island by a hill covered in Garry Oak trees, which I grew to love deeply. Gnarled, wonky and a bit freaky... Yes, my kind of tree.

This week for Wishcasting we are asked: What Path Do You Wish to Follow?

My answer? I wish to follow the path back to magical me.

I have lost my spiritual connection to everything. My mystical batteries are either dead or fried.

There must be a way for me to connect with that path again. With your help, maybe I will find it.

Random BC Photo

2011-09-06T09:34:00.000-03:00

One of the trails off Hatley Castle, Vancouver Island, BC, 2007

I spent the entire weekend watching Ghost Adventures Season 2. I don't know what it is about these shows that calms me down, makes me relax but I am grateful for it. I am much more comfortable with the spooky of this world than with the ordinary. As much as I loathe summer coming to an end and autumn's approach beginning, I do love the weirdness of this time of year.

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau, British Columbia, Winter, 2002-2003

2011-09-02T09:24:00.000-03:00

I have a dear friend who is finally leaving her land of exile and making her way back home to British Columbia today. This post is for you my friend.

Back in 2002 winter had found us. We were discovering what that means on the mountain. Lots of darkness and sometimes flakes of snow.

We often saw more clouds below us than around us over the landscape underneath where we lived. I never got used to that or bored of it.

Christmas came and we could not afford to go home to our family so we stayed in our tiny apartment, surrounded by Christmas chaos. Reg finally got us a real fake Christmas tree (he hated the cheap one I bought at a church auction years ago) and has been proud of it ever since.

Here are the cookies I grew up baking at Christmas with my family. Back then I knew almost nothing about baking and did the bare minimum and was proud of it. BTW, these cookies are actually really good just like this, LOL.

In the mornings on my walks the world did descent below 0C and got all frosty and beautiful. I suddenly had a new photographic world to discover.

By the time I made my way back home the sun came out but these big banks of fog would roll in and invade the neighbourhood. It was so weird to be enveloped by giant waves of mist! This photo was taken in the heart of winter. Note: zero snow. Also note: zero garbage.

My birthday in January is always one of the coldest days of year. In 2003 Reg took me to the famous Cannery Restaurant. We drove into town, down along an industrial area towards the water and I started to freak out. What kind of restaurant was this in this dark no-where area?

Out of nowhere you discover these lights, a boat out front and the most lovely restaurant by the water that sea lions would regularly come to visit.

It was at the Cannery I had the best lobster bisque of my life and got their mini desserts trio and fell in love with creme brulee. Sadly, the Cannery closed a year or two ago. Being on the water and dealing with the logistics of where they were and security issues... They finally closed. I was heartbroken when I heard the news.

It did get colder and the fog over the valley was replaced with an icy mist.

We never got to see sunsets on the east side of our mountain but I was always searching for the moon, hoping she would say hello. Here she is just popping by for a visit before she descended into the pink clouds and behind purple mountains. Once again, please note, no snow.

Our first winter on the mountain in Westwood Plateau was not too bad at all. We did not go out on many adventures but how nice was it to not have to wear a parka on my birthday. That was freedom and the food of Vancouver bliss. I have never had better food anywhere.

Yes, life was going very well. So far...

Random BC Photo

2011-09-01T10:17:00.000-03:00

I miss this me. I miss the me that was totally in love with my life and the world around me. No, I wasn't without ailment but I was at peace and happy. I loved where I was, I loved who I was.

I must admit, I wonder if this will ever be me again? Will I ever be able to commune with silence again? Will we be OK? I have no solid ground beneath my feet. I live in fear all the time.

I keep going. I was swarmed with so much love from all of you yesterday, you give me the strength to not give up. To believe things can get better. To fight off the darkness.

Thank you for that. I may no longer walk the woods of Vancouver Island but at least in my quiet house with my screaming ear on the east coast I feel a little less alone. The trees may not speak to me but you do. One step. Another step.

Maybe one day these old hiking boots will find their way back home.

Wishcasting: What Do You Wish To Say No To?

2011-08-31T09:45:00.000-03:00

Wishcasting: What Do You Wish To Say No To?

Thank you Jamie for this Wishcasting prompt. I have been waiting for it. Yesterday I asked my amazing friends here for some white light and did they ever come through for me. Thank you, I adore you all and it helped so much.

I could not wait until today because I was all tied up in knots before going to my doctor's appointment. You see in the spring I ruptured my left ear drum. For days I was deaf and living in terror. Then it slowly healed but then became impacted. Because it had been broken, I could not use drops, I could not have my ear irrigated for a month. As time passed, the ringing in my ear started. I started to scream inside because of the tinnitus.

When I had my ear finally irrigated, my eardrum finally free... The ringing was still there. It had become metallic. Not too bad in the morning but at night I was curled up into a ball, feeling hopeless, scared I would go mad. I feel sick all the time and so very scared.

I have never been one for loud noises, music, sound of any kind. I crave quiet and have been robbed of it. I already live with chronic pain and exhaustion. The idea of living with chronic noise in my head is just too much.

There is no way of knowing if it is going to heal but the doctor did say that it appears that my ears are responding to allergies of some kind. Which is odd considering, as far as I know, I have very few allergies at all. She has given me some medication which I hope with all my heart, will help.

It is not just me. We seem to be plagued with more and more health issues. So I wish to say no to the idea that we can't heal. I wish to say no to being eclipsed with despair. I wish to say no to all ailments, all forms of physical, emotional, spiritual torture, all bad luck.

In doing so I say yes to healing, to life improving, to my ear calming down and becoming quiet once more. To having Reg's health issues resolved too. Thank you for helping us heal.

Would you mind sparing us some white light?

2011-08-30T09:57:00.000-03:00

I am filled with fear. I may have another chronic health problem to deal with and I just can't. I know today isn't Wishcasting but I kind of need some support right now. I am hoping that I get some good news and that there is something doctors can do to help. I tried not to write about it at all, be patient and hope for the best. Which isn't my style.

So would you do me a favour? Would you surround us with some white light my friends? I would really appreciate it. I have written petitions to the Universe, cried to the trees... I just need some help.

I really appreciate it. I haven't been able to eat much and am sick to my stomach with anxiety all the time.

Hopefully I will have good news soon but whatever you can do to support us, thank you.

We are Eh-OK

2011-08-29T08:38:00.000-03:00

Believe it or not, this is not a black and white photograph. Just a maple leaf flattened by car after car in the library parking lot until it turned black.

Luckily for us on the east coast we did not get flattened by Hurricane Irene. In fact, it hardly touched us.

Yes, I was up all night off and on because of the crazy gusts of wind that would blow through our area but we hardly got rain and have definitely had worst storms in our recent past.

Today the sun is shining and the wind seems to have blown away the miserable humidity. We are even supposed to get sun all week, I can hardly believe it.

I hope this means things are looking up. Life has been very dark and challenging for a while. It would be a great change of pace for life to feel a bit better and more hopeful now.

Here comes Irene!

2011-08-28T09:04:00.000-03:00

Martinique Beach, Nova Scotia

Thankfully we did get some sunshine after Dad and Julie left but I woke up this morning to grey skies and crows freaking out. The kept cawing until I woke up and closed the windows. One guy was right outside my window, watching me. That never happens.

By the time the storm really hits, it will night time. It is supposed to weaken to a tropical storm when it comes to the east coast. What is amazing is just how large it is. The size of Europe? Now that is a mega storm!

I hope everyone stays safely away from the water and the roads. I will be baking homemade bread and popcorn for the big event, hoping we do not lose power.

Stay safe everyone!

Trip to Blomidon, Nova Scotia

2011-08-26T09:03:00.000-03:00

When Dad and Julie were here visiting we drove up through the valley to Blomidon which is on the Bay of Fundy, famous for its wild tides. Here you can see the tide is out leaving the ships to nestle on the red sand.

We had to stop and take a photograph of this phenomenon. I love that you can also see in the distance land standing in the middle of the water that has not yet been eroded into the sea.

From there we drove up to the parking lot where you hike in to the woods. We just wanted the view so we took some photographs and made our way down to the lower parking lot.

To get down to the beach was still quite a hike so we just took photographs from the lookoff instead.

My dad absolutely had to stop here and take a photograph which I thoroughly agreed with. The contrasting colours and picturesque nature of the landscape was too delicious not to capture with our cameras.

As you can see, again my family brought that Ontario sunshine with them which appears to have left with them as well, just as it did when Jamie came to visit. In fact we will probably be getting smacked a little this weekend by Irene but already the darkness has descended on the east coast again. Oh well, I've missed spending time in my kitchen.

I just hope the power doesn't go out this Sunday!

Random BC Photo

2011-08-21T09:35:00.000-03:00

Hatley Castle Gardens, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, 2007

That is a statue of winter (if I remember correctly) personified in stone. Behind her is the lagoon where I used to walk and commune with the ocean. I must have taken a hundred photo of her face. Right now, this just feels so very symbolic to me. Flowers are still out and summer is still here but I know what awaits me. Winter is on the horizon.

Things have been so very hard but I have been trying to smell the various flowers and continue to fix things, make the best of things and turn everything around. Our lives are absolutely stuck in uncertainty mixed with lots of limbo. I call it, anxiety stew. Well I might as well season it with all the spices I got.

We have family coming to visit for the next few days so I will be absent but not entirely lost. It will be good to have company, life has been very lonely.

I don't know why these photos soothe me so much but they do. I know it is sad, living in the past. But when the past is so very beautiful and healing... I say, why not?

Halloween is approaching...

2011-08-19T08:16:00.000-03:00

Normally I would celebrate the day Halloween merchandise shows up at my dollar store but not today. We are only just starting to get beautiful summer weather.

My brain can not fathom it. My spirit is in shock.

Yes, I will try and appreciate each beautiful day but life has just got to improve. As usual, everything is at a snail's pace here except winter's approach.

It reminds me of Mike Meyer's. Never far behind, not moving at super speed but always in the background making its gradual approach.

Wishcasting: What Do You Wish to Choose?

2011-08-17T11:06:00.000-03:00

Jamie is asking this week for Wishcasting: What do you wish to choose?

I wish to choose prosperity and abundance.

We have gone through financial crashes before, a few times. I do not need to learn this lesson anymore. Living off the 50% rack at the grocery store and buying pasta from the dollar store is getting tiresome and heartbreaking. I really do not need to learn how to struggle anymore. I am so tired of it. We worked so hard to try and "make it" and sacrificed so much and now everything might be for nothing.

I choose an elegant and beautifully decadent life. Like this $20 sparkling wine apricot sorbet I made. I am ready to be rich and live a stunning and delicious life. I choose to live like Martha Stewart with zero guilt and all the success.

I need for our lives to be prosperous. I keep buying lotto tickets and hoping. Life keeps getting more frightening. I need that to stop. I choose to believe that our lives will become abundant and filled with good luck. That everything is going to be more than OK.

Product Testing: Scotts' EZ Seed Turf Builder

2011-08-16T09:59:00.000-03:00

We have some problem areas of our lawn and you know I love product testing so I wanted to try out Scotts' EZ Seed Turf Builder. Along the curb and the driveway we had so many weeds. One day after a giant storm when the ground was nice and soft I just dug some up. I made sure the top of the soil was well aerated the way you are supposed to.

I like that the tub has this easy-to-pour spout. I covered the area in the grass seed.

Then I sprinkled with water, making sure to moisten without letting water puddle.

At this point my one complaint is that their instructions were just a little too simple. How often do you water? For how long? How long does it take for the grass to show up?

I would go out two time a days when it was actually sunny and water the area. In just over a week, I had grass!

This is the absolute worst area of my garden where I thought absolutely nothing but weeds would ever grow. I am hoping that it continues to thicken because right now, it is quite a thin patch of grass but it is way better than before.

No, you don't just sprinkle and grass magically grows. You do have to make an effort and my effort paid off. I will buy more!

My Electronic Scrapbook: Winter Solstice 2002

2011-08-15T10:20:00.000-03:00

We still had green grass on the plateau but more and more often the mountains around us back in 2002 were dusted in snow in December.

Reg was the kung fu school's magician at their Christmas party.

Unfortunately Reg got very sick on the MSG in the food and we had to go home before he could perform, poor guy! Another reason why I make all our food.

Around the winter solstice we spontaneously decided to go to the VanDusen Botanical Gardens' Festival of Lights.

We had never seen anything like it! It was so beautiful.

Our friend Cathy decided she would like to come too and enjoy the lights.

Here you have a lake, completely surrounded by trees covered in lights. This was before LED lights became popular so it was quite magical and special.

I used this photograph of me and Reg for our electronic Christmas card that year since we would not be able to get home for the holidays.

As people who celebrate lights in the dark more than a man in a red suit, I love that they included real firelight at the festival as well.

What a fun and beautiful experience it was!

I had my first roasted chestnuts thanks to Cathy buying some from a vendor at the festival. Now I always think of this special evening together when I eat some. Truly a stunning evening and wonderful memory of winter in BC for us.

Random BC Photo

2011-08-14T09:37:00.000-03:00

Galloping Goose Trail, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, 2006

Our path is now completely obscured. I have no idea what the hell is going on or why. I have just given up trying to figure things out. Are we really on a path? It hasn't felt like it since we left BC and that persistent feeling that we left where are supposed to be plagues me.

Nothing feels right. Nothing makes sense. How can we be lost for more than three years?

Are we in jeopardy? I have no idea. I'll just keep walking. What else can I do?

My Electronic Scrapbook: Westwood Plateau & Trip to Toronto November 2002

2011-08-12T08:49:00.000-03:00

In November of 2002 in our neighbourhood on the mountain in Westwood Plateau, BC, I continue to find hearts in nature around me. I love seeing these images, even today. They are my touchstone. I really was in love with my surroundings.

Mount Baker, as always, continued to amaze me on my walks. For days I wouldn't be able to see it and then the clouds would separate and the peak would become visible. How surreal to lived above the clouds.

We celebrated Reg's birthday in November and I made my very first and LAST cheesecake by hand. It was cappuccino, Reg's favourite. Next to impossible to do by hand, I think soon after I made this I got a food processor. The top of the cake cracked which almost brought me to tears. I was totally new to baking at this point and found the whole process too hard. Only for birthdays!

Sadly, I only have a few thumbnails of my trip to Toronto in November to visit family. I don't know what happened but at least I have these cute little photographs. Above you can see my sisters Jamie and Shannon.

I did those whole visit to our old neighbourhood and took photographs of everything including the house we grew up in. Sigh... Just this tiny little photo. I guess my next visit (whenever that will be) I will go back, again.

When I came back Reg and I continued our weekend adventures. We went to Harrison Hot Springs for the first time, land of the Sasquatch. The moment I arrived, I felt a crazy change in energy. Even still, I refused to mug for the camera even at Reg's strong insistence. Instead, I let him ham it up since he is so much better at in than I am.

Harrison is completely surrounded by mountains, most of which have snow on them all year, they are massive. This seems to create an energy-bowl effect, like it just keeps cradling energy until it overflows.

Harrison Lake is also quite weird. You can not tell while you are there but the lake is extremely long and freezing because it is glacial and is up to 900 feet deep. We saw a photograph of a fish that was caught there that appeared to be over ten feet long. This place is freaky!!! I LOVED it.

Reg looking quite artsy in front of Harrison Lake. It was so cold while we were there. The wind was fierce and we were no longer acclimatized for the cold. We would be back when it was warmer.

We drove past the hazelnut farms and made our way back at dusk. I took this photo from the car. So beautiful.

It was hard to believe at the time but Christmas was coming to our neighbourhood and turned the place into what we called "Christmas town". It would be our first on the mountain together.

If you only knew...

2011-08-11T09:58:00.000-03:00

The hard walk in my hood

I am a total and absolute idiot. I thought we had made it to the top of our troubles and everything was going to get better. I had no idea that there were monsters still left to battle and I am just so tired. I should have known. I should have known it wasn't over.

Will be retreating to happier BC memories if I post at all. I think I am shutting down...

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

2011-08-10T08:37:00.000-03:00

Note broken window on the right

I live in a bit of a ghost town. There are big retail chains that do well here but even the Walmart left. And that giant building is still vacant.

As I walk along the main strip that gets tons of loud traffic, I walk past so many building that held dreams of success.

It doesn't inspire this warm feeling inside that anything is possible. I have no idea why my particular area of Nova Scotia is so broken.

Perhaps it is because there was no planning involved where I live. It must be one of the worst cases of urban sprawl ever. No parks. No green space other than cemeteries. A feng shui hell.

Yes, it is a tough place to have dreams. So much here is shattered. It feels as though there is a deep psychic wound.

But I won't let my surroundings bring me down. I still have dreams. I am broken in so many ways now but I will keep going until I am out of here.

Every day I go for a walk, I see another business has closed. How surreal that even a Frenchy's (a favourite Maritime shopping spot) went out of business. But I keep walking. And dreaming. And believing...

"I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone"
~ Green Day

Yearly Pilgrimage

2011-08-09T09:20:00.000-03:00

Once a year I take a health Odyssey. It is the only time I feel 100% completely justified in spending money on cabs. I get up really early, roll out of bed and go to the health clinic before it opens at 7 am.

There is always a lineup and I don't really blame people for joining me. I went at 10 am one time and waited over three hours to get blood work done.

This time I was 20th in line and out of there in 40 minutes. I always find it stressful and this year it was more than usual. I have been having new health issues arise in my life which scares me.

If you asked me what my job is I will always say my health. Everything I do, including the food I eat, is to keep me healthy. I have had so many health issues even with all of this attention to taking care of my body, it is a full time job. I wish I could say I love it but I am dedicated to this path.

Healing and staying strong is the number one priority in my life. I hope I am doing well at this important job. Kind of everything depends on it.

Cleansing crystals in sunlight

2011-08-06T09:15:00.000-03:00

It has felt like fall this past week in Nova Scotia and has been quite grey. The sun finally came out this morning and I decided to put my crystals out in the sunlight to cleanse them.

I am also working on a protective necklace using quartz and aventurine. Thought I would also put my black obsidian with hematite necklace out too to get rid of any dark negative energy it may have soaked up.

No, the crystals are not resting in salt, that would be very bad for them! I put a bowl of rock salt underneath a smaller bowl with the crystals and water. I like the idea of the sun pushing all the negative energy out of the crystal and into the salt which I will let go of.

Think I will do a general cleanse of the house too. I am feeling like I need a fresh start in life and it is time to clean house! After that, I will make corn relish for the first time. My life is starting to become interesting again. Love it.

My Garden: An Update

2011-08-05T09:03:00.000-03:00

As you know, I am a reluctant gardener. I rarely have any luck growing anything and it causes me so much physical pain but then sometimes, I can really understand the joy of gardening.

I had just about given up hope on growing anything but strawberries when I discovered yesterday that I had a few blueberries growing on one of my bushes. The other bush has zilch but I may actually get five blueberries this year! That is up from one from last year, LOL.

One of the first things I planted when I moved here was a raspberry bush and I am finally getting a bit of a crop. Gardening really is a lesson in patience and letting things develop at their own pace, in their own way. Something I am terrible at!

Yesterday, I felt real joy discovering those berries. That does not happen to me very often these days. I was weeding and it was a very cool and grey day. The wind picked up and I suddenly felt something. Like Nature was speaking to me. I closed my eyes and let it in.

We recently got some news that made my heart want to burst. We finally had some movement in our lives. The stagnation suddenly broke. I could breathe and it was wonderful. I know I might still be stuck here for years and years but if I am, I have decided to totally turn my backyard into a fruit and vegetable garden. In the front I am going to add trees. I want to grow food. I want more joy like this.

I always say, follow the energy. Well, I finally got a sign from the Universe and I am going to follow that path. Funny how it always has to do with food!

Summer = Movies

2011-08-04T09:18:00.000-03:00

Although our vacation was cut short, we did manage to get out to the movies. This is a big tradition in my family. I mean my sister Shannon is the Movie Moxie! But last night after recording Hexed I tried to tell Shannon about the movies I had recently seen. I remembered Cowboys & Aliens but I just could not remember the other movie I had seen. We had to go through them for me to remember. Now my fibro is bad but still...

Turns out the other film was Captain America! Which I actually think I enjoyed more than Cowboys & Aliens. Overall though I am finding no emotional connection to movies this summer. Yes, they are entertaining and well done but did they stay with me? No, not really.

One thing I did appreciate about Captain America is how people with a disabling illness or lack of physical constitution feel like they can not live up to their potential. I feel like that every single day. What could I be achieving if I had the strength, the vitality and freedom from pain and exhaustion? There was heart and important messages in the film but I did not have an emotional connection to anyone.

The same could be said for Cowboys & Aliens. I am a HUGE Harrison Ford fan and Daniel Craig is fabulous but I had a sense that although it was an interesting idea for a movie, I wasn't going to connect. And, I didn't. The one thing I did feel in the film was fear and I wasn't expecting that. It was more frightening that I thought it would be.

As Reg and I talked about it, I told him the last movie that really meant something to me that we saw in the theatre was the new Arthur film. It had heart and I love quirky characters. It meant something to me.

I am glad I saw all of these films though. I do love escaping reality in the summer by going to the movies and these all were good. I just wish they had spoken to me.

Wishcasting: What door do you wish to open?

2011-08-03T08:51:00.000-03:00

Photograph taken in the gardens of Hatley Castle, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

My life has been insane lately. Nothing interesting. Just busy and overwhelming. It is wonderful to get back to creative and spiritual thinking here at Wishcrafting.

This week Jamie asks: Which door do you wish to open?

My answer is one that would freak her out. I should know, she is my sister!

I wish to open... The Spooky Door!

Yes, I love all things paranormal and bizarre. There is a reason I am known in my family as Spooky Suzie.

So bring on the dreams, creepy movies and tarot readings!

I was encouraged on our vacation that I am not entirely psychically dead. The more time I spent with Reg, the more I read his thoughts. By the end, it was even freaking me out. I miss this special side of myself.

Oh and if I could open another door too, I would like to open one to creativity with jewellery. I am feeling more and more inspired by get back to making necklaces. This must be a good spiritual sign. Feeling creative means I have finally gotten past my root chakra of survival. Finally!

Blessed Lammas and brace yourselves! Mercury is going retrograde...

2011-08-02T06:54:00.000-03:00

On the weekend the new moon was in Leo. Could you feel the restless energy during the calm part of the month?! I sure could. Life has been insane!

Yesterday was Lammas and in honour of this festival celebrating grains, I thought it was appropriate to share my corn tortilla post. I am not entirely un-magickal these days.

With mercury going retrograde today, I feel like I want to go and hide somewhere. I have been so busy and exhausted, not a lot of electrical energy left to pump through my spirit. With three stormy days ahead of us, perhaps the lightning will help ionize my soul?

I am going to try and slow down now. I think I kind of have to. And that is OK. Bring it.

2011 Mahone Bay Pirate Festival & Regatta, Nova Scotia

2011-07-31T21:37:00.000-03:00

When Reg and I heard about the Mahone Bay Pirate Festival & Regatta, we knew we were going to have to squeeze it into our insane long weekend. And we did!

After Saturday's miserable (and I mean MISERABLE) weather, today we got dressed up (Reg more than me), packed our car and took off with Petey the Parrot!

Now we love Mahone Bay and our favourite time to visit is for the Scarecrow Fest where the little town is decked out with spooky scarecrows. There was lots of signage for the pirate festival and there were some events but nobody was dressed up!

I finally got to the flea market though but found out that the vendors in Mahone Bay know exactly what they are selling so finding a bargain was not easy. I wanted to get a small cake plate only to find out that it was $75! We did almost get some pirate baarrgers (oh they smelled so good) but we held off spending money.

Reg made a lot of kids happy today! So many of them thought his parrot might be real and all loved him. How couldn't they?!

You will always find lots of Maritime folk art in Mahone Bay at any time of the year. The turnout was great but where were the other pirates?! I mean some kids were dressed up but seriously, where was the rogue pirate spirit??!!!

We walked down to the dock and the bay was full of boats and the weather could not have been more beautiful.

This was our favourite vendor by far, selling authentic sailor stuff!

The giant witches' balls were my favourite, so beautiful! I wanted to buy a carved whale to turn into a necklace but I couldn't find the vendor. Oh well!

When you come to Mahone Bay, no matter how many times you visit, you just have to take another photo of the three churches. It is just too picturesque not too. Even for this witchy woman!

We finally found some pirates though! They were obviously hired for the festival and the one on the left told us about a trial we just had to see so we followed him to the gazebo in the middle of town.

There we watched a short little play about about pirate justice which was fun, especially for the kids.

It was a pretty good festival but their scarecrow fest is so much better! We didn't stay too long, just enough to get out and have some summer fun together before life gets boring again.

As Reg says, "It is always fun to freak out the mundanes."

Here here! Or maybe I should say, "Hardy har!!!"

Thank you to all of you fabulous Wishcasters out there!

2011-07-28T10:02:00.000-03:00

This is the first time I successfully photographed an osprey (a teen one by the looks of it) from the car on our way to Walmart. Yes, Walmart!

I was so excited the first time I discovered this eagle's nest within the urban landscape of where we live. It gave me hope. And then, change came. It came people!!!

I wanted to write and say thank you to all you Wishcasting wishers out there. Even though Reg had to cut our vacation short because of work, we finally have some momentum in our lives. Something actually happened! And we are one step closer to going home. A small step but not an insignificant one.

And before summer's end! Thank you all so much!

OMG, I can breathe again. Energy is starting to move. We have taken a bit of a step away from the giant black hole of unchangeability.

My body broke down over the last few days, the stress has been almost unbearable. Today I am having a little less pain and feel even a tad hopeful. Life is going to be extra challenging for me but it is worth it if it means big change will eventually be coming our way.

Melmerby Beach, Nova Scotia

2011-07-27T09:23:00.000-03:00

Across from the beach you will find what looks like a perfectly still lake at this very popular beach

Reg and I had so many plans for our vacation but when we finally had time to go somewhere, we got stuck. Yarmouth was having a big festival which we were going to go to but when we calculated how much it was going to cost in gas to get there, we changed our minds. Instead, we drove in a totally different direction to Melmerby Beach. I wanted to go some place new and get some sun.

Oh and just so you know, when you take the highway past Truro you will have to decide to take the highway east or west (the directions said nothing about this) and you want to go EAST towards Cape Breton! Oh and Exit 27A is under construction and comes up very suddenly and you will need to turn left not right.

We managed to find a parking spot and saw that the "Run for the Lobster 20K" was apparently going on. There just happened to be no one there. Or, we joked, that it was a marathon of ghosts with an invisible audience whose cheering is undetectable to the human ears. It was kind of weird.

There are bathroom facilities but other than vending machines, no place to get food. It is a good thing we brought our own snacks because there are no gas stations or restaurants along the highway. You have to go into town which we wanted to avoid.

Apparently the grounds have poison ivy which may explain the lack of dogs we saw at the beach. We did see two when we were leaving but none frolicking in the water. Bummer!

Here we are! We made it to the beach.

Unlike in town, it was overcast and much, much cooler. At home it was sunny and hot! In the city the gay pride parade was happening in Halifax and they had fog, LOL. Yes, this is a weird, weird place. Oh and I am referring to the weather, not the parade! I am sure the parade was very cool despite the fogginess.

This was the view to the left. Lots of families were out and about.

It was a nice beach but kind of reminded me more of a lake that an ocean beach in some ways.

Unfortunately the second my feet touched the sand (before I had a chance to sit down) I was attacked by bugs. They gored the back of my legs where I couldn't see them and now I have big purple welts that will be there for weeks because my skin takes forever to heal. Nice...

Still, I love being by the ocean even when I am bleeding from bug bites. I refused to let them bully me away. We got out our beach chairs and I realized I forgot to bring reading material, I had rushed out of the door!

I just closed my eyes and relaxed. Something Reg and I never do. We are always so active and it was beautiful to have one day to just be, together.

It is a good thing we did because our vacation was suddenly cut in half. This was the only real adventure we would get to do. Reg had to go back to work.

We had about 15 minutes of sunshine. Enough time for me to coat myself in sunscreen only to discover that once you do, sand will stick to you forever. When these extra-dark and heavy clouds started to roll in, the beach became a ghost town and we packed up our stuff and went home.

As great as Melmerby Beach was, I think I prefer Crystal Crescent and Conrad's Beach much more. Oh and I can tell you that the "warm water" of Melmerby Beach wasn't warm. Felt pretty darn freezing to us! As always, I am glad to go and see something new but I doubt I will be back to Melmerby Beach anytime soon.

Our Little Holiday

2011-07-26T10:57:00.000-03:00

Reg and I have a beautiful front deck that we never use. Ever! When it is sunny, you just bake on it so we have been looking everywhere for an inexpensive umbrella and we finally found one at Canadian Tire. The hard part wasn't finding an umbrella, it was finding one with also a base.

We got both for $50 and now we might actually sit on our front deck here and there. The only issue is it appears to tip over in the wind so we have to bring it inside when we aren't using it, LOL.

When you want some cheap cool stuff, go to Princess Auto. They have everything! For dirt cheap.

There were so many things I wanted to buy including a cast iron frying pan but nope, I stuck to my list and bought only one thing:

Cyber-punk eye protectors! For only $6!

Why? Well when Shannon and I were discussing the Steam Punk episode of Fanboy Confessional for Hexed, I really started to miss jewellery making. I haven't wanted to make jewellery for so long but with these eye protectors, I could get out my Dremel tool and have some creative fun. Hopefully I will actually do it one day but it is nice knowing that for now, I am covered!

So we did get out of the house and do some stuff on a budget. Nothing super exciting yet but we did have one little adventure. More to come!

Letting Go of Stuff this Staycation

2011-07-22T10:38:00.000-03:00

First movies and then we got practical. We wanted to get rid of a lot of stuff this staycation and help prepare for our hopefully eventual move back out west. First we took out very old computer to the electronics recycling centre which was very hard for Reg to do. So proud of you honey!

We had inherited a ton of books and had our own library to scale down as well as lots of clothes and other stuff I no longer wanted. OMG, now we can actually walk into our little library which was covered in junk we did not want. Feels so good to let stuff go!

Our new bedroom set (and bed) are working out perfectly so we no longer needed this piece from IKEA. My sister-in-law happily inherited it and one day when we can afford to replace Reg's monster desk with a more practical smaller one, she will inherit that too. It is so nice to help others out with the stuff you no longer need.

I often feel that way. Like it is selfish to hold on to something I am not using when someone else would like to. The money ends up going to charity and our future move gets that much more doable because we have less stuff. I know that when we get back home we will be living in a much smaller space and I am more than ready to do what I have to do to make that happen.

I wonder what we will end up doing next on our staycation?! Maybe actually go somewhere?! That would be nice!

Going to the movies this summer? May I recommend...

2011-07-20T09:53:00.000-03:00

Reg and I have been going to see movies a lot this staycation. A cheap way to get transported to another world and do we ever love movies!

We started off with the last Harry Potter movie which meant we probably started off with the best which was just fine with us. It was fantastic! I have only read four of the books so the last couple of movies have been a total surprise to me. The second last movie I found very confusing but not this one. So exciting, dramatic and revealing... Top notch! If you love Harry Potter, you will love it.

We adore superhero movies so we just had to go see Green Lantern before that light went out in the theatre. I adore Ryan Reynolds and he was quite good in it. The story was interesting, the world fascinating and my goodness, some of it was downright scary. Not for kids if you ask me but then their tolerance for scary stuff these days is higher than when I was growing up. Not an award-winner at all but for those who love superhero stories I say, why not?!

Last and so far, absolutely least was Transformers 3. I had not seen the first two movies because of the rampant sexism and sadly, it was in the third movie as well in spades. The main female lead was downright useless. A waste of screen space. Reg told me the premise of the movie on our walk to the theatre which was very basic and on the way home at dusk he ranted about how scientifically ridiculous it was. Which was fun to listen to.

You see we went on Tuesday night which is cheap at our theatre and even though the movie was in 3D we paid half of what we would have paid at one of the big theatres. I wanted at least one cheesy movie for our staycation that we could rag on and did we ever choose well.

Now what I did want from the movie was big robots. I have always been fascinated at things that are larger than life and the visuals, I have to say, were mind blowing. It was all robotic eye candy and that is what I wanted. I do have issues with the fact that there appear to be no female robots and no female military warriors at all, just one woman in charge who comes across as incompetent. I think whoever wrote this movie has some serious issues when it comes to women. Well I didn't like any of the human race in this movie (especially the main kid who has major anger issues and is super annoying) but the robots kicked ass.

Magic, superheroes and robots are not a bad way to begin our staycation! We were very behind in our movie-going and have almost caught up. Next we will be working our way toward real-life fun, coming soon...